Just as many of the daffodils start to die back a few late developers are just coming into bloom. I noticed these two early this morning as I came outside to clear my head after a dream.

I had one of those really bizarre dreams. The kind which you have no idea where the brain dragged that one from. I was trying to drive a lorry pulling a massive prefabricated building. For some reason the building still had all the cups and plates wracked up in the little kitchen. So I was instructed to drive carefully and for every broken item I would have money deducted from my wage. I somehow managed to get my load stuck in a muddy friend surrounded by Emus and talking sheep. I was attacked by the big birds so I had to take shelter on top of the prefab building.

What on earth was that one about…..

Anyone who has seen me drive will realise I am the last person you would trust to drive that load. The odd dream did remind me of a very old University incident. Our team had just won a 5 aside footy tournament and we went off to celebrate. We certainly did celebrate. None of the team can remember much past 8pm but I had clearly decided some time in the early hours that it was a sensible idea to fall asleep on top of one of the university’s prefab lecture rooms. For some reason I had brought a large road sign with me for company. When I finally came to my senses I realised that it was morning and a lecture was in progress just a few feet below me. I could here the lecture rather clearly. Embarrassingly it was a lecture I should have been in. I listened for a while but then my pressing need for the toilet took precedent. Unfortunately the only safe route down was on the window side of the lecture room. A few hours later I was talking with a girl who was in that very lecture. She said that during the lecture the students in her section could hear a rather ghostly snoring noise coming from above them. Then she heard the snoring ghost clearly swear which prompted the lecturer to warn the class about bad behaviour. Then it all went quiet until the sound of movement and scraping could be clearly heard from the roof. Whatever was above her was moving towards the windows. A large road sign then appeared to the thrown to the ground. Then seconds later a rather deshelved character swung his legs over the roof edge. Another loud expletive and the legs disappeared again. The sound or more footsteps on the roof. Then a sports bag wizzed passed the window, followed closely by clearly disheveled person hurtling towards the ground at a surprising uncontrolled rate. An audible groan was then followed by another load expletive. I was then seen hurrying in the general direction of the toilets, carrying what appeared to be a large metal sign….

How on earth did I get an honours degree. Just shows you the decline in UK education standards. Thankfully standards are not being lowered in the daffodil world.

Please note I have not touched a drop of alcohol since 2016…..

89 thoughts on “Standards”

  3. lol good tale about yourself, glad you gave up the grog! Doesn’t sound like it did you any favours 😉

    Dreams indicate what’s happening in our lives just now … maybe your son and his education are the fragile load you are driving? Take care and be safe 🙂

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  4. Beautiful! There are always some late bloomers, and yes, thankfully there are no lowered standards there. Kudos on the not touching a drop of alcohol since 2016. It does make people do some strange things. I have never been a drinker. I’ve seen too much and decided, nope… that’s not for me. I don’t like the idea of not being in control of my actions. Andrew was a drinker when we met, but because it didn’t sit well with me he gave it up.

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  6. I’m having weird dreams too. The whole world is in a state of unrest, it’s not surprising that the collective unconscious is disturbed and disturbing. It’s inconvenient for those of us who get precious little sleep on a good night, but it’s not surprising.
    I spent a year or so as a full time drinker. Gin, straight was what I drank. I was self-medicating. Physically for the most part, but mentally/emotionally too. I got tired of it, and just stopped. I’m lucky to not have an addictive personality. My ex lost his battle with the bottle and it blew up our life. He wasn’t goofy, he was mean.

    I hope you’re having better dreams or so deeply asleep that you don’t remember your dreams🤞💌

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      3. I had one about being at a hotel with 3 chicks who, when awake, I recognized as former coworkers (but never friends). They talked me into attending a party/rave. At some point I knowingly crossed into Mexico for drinks/food (there was no official border crossing). Coming back, I was nearly drawn into a dangerous area but figured out to avoid it. As I approached the border, which now had an official crossing, I realized I hadn’t brought my passport and wouldn’t be allowed back into the US. My passport was back at the hotel room but I didn’t have contact info for any of my roommates and knew they wouldn’t bring it anyway. But then, hoorah, it was in my purse after all!! But, nope, it was just a lottery ticket stuck to the front of a notepad. As I got more stressed woke up.

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      9. After 3yrs of mostly self isolating, my world and frequency of crazy dreams hasn’t changed much (tonight’s was about some kind of food on Middle Eastern flatbread… oddly complicated for some reason).

        I still have near nightly “gotta get to sleep ASAP cause I have to be up for work” anxiety! It REALLY annoys me but I guess it’s a reasonable byproduct of 50 yrs of getting up for school and work.

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  9. I have volunteer tulips every year, 1 – 3, different colors. Right now a red one bloomed recently. It will die in a few weeks. A couple of others haven’t bloomed yet, but should soon. However, they usually bloom on the same day.

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  12. Well I don’t know what to say! Sorely disappointed by your terrible behaviour and I hope you learned your lesson. You would never have found me doing such wayward drunken things!!

    Wow .. sober since 2016. What made you stop drinking (if you don’t mind me prying)?

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    1. To be fair I gave up drinking when my partner was pregnant and after that I never really went back to it as much. Never drunk at home just a couple on holidays and maybe a couple of sessions with my climbing partners each year. But then when I became a single parent decided that it would not help at all, so it was ditched completely.

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      1. well.. there is that saying, once seen.. But honest in my life I have aye found as you sit there looking nonchalant, sophisticated or even plen bored and all.. some person starts recounting something they once saw where your collar gets kind of hot for the wrong reasons.

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  14. Great story! I once spent a night in a police cell for stealing a road sign when drunk when I was younger and stupider than I am now (well younger anyway). The police let me sleep it off and then told me not to do it again, while trying hard (but ultimately failing) not to laugh at me. I did learn my lesson. Mostly. Still woke up in some strange places but always without the road signs…

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      4. I felt bad about it. It was clear where it had come from. So I went out and put it back. Luckily it was a clip in sign. I stealthily put it up. Walked away and realised it was upside down so had to go back and do it again.

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  15. Your dream sounds like something straight out of Monty Python. Our minds take some very Wonderlandian turns in the night, don’t they? xxxxxx

    And a blessed Easter to you and your son. May big hugs and laughs make your Easter a happy one!

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  19. I had a half of lager in 2018, even the barman was surprised as I usually have a pint………… of soda. I enjoyed it as I hadn’t had one for at least 10years before that, having bought a 10 pack of french beer for Christmas, and the following December I still had 9!

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