Last night was one of those yucky sleepless nights. So very tired yet all I could muster was probably 40 minutes sleep. Annoyingly those 40 minutes came right at the end of the night and was brought to an all to abrupt ending with the morning homeschooling alarm.

During those zombie like hours I started writing a list of things to do this week. After getting stuck on item 1 for far too long, the list morphed into a more fruitful

What have I learned about myself during the last few weeks of this rather odd period in our history.

So here goes with my early morning facts

  1. I’m crap at writing To Do lists,
  2. Late at night I have a habit or writing LIST so that it looks like LUST,
  3. I can’t sleep properly,
  4. My old mobile phone has never worked better since it got machine washed with my clothes,
  5. My phone has a surprisingly good camera however it has the most annoying panorama function. The photo above took hours to do,
  6. I am so lucky to have that view from the garden. But what would I give for either a mountain or the sea in the distance,
  7. I quite enjoy most of this home schooling lark,
  8. Homeschooling and work are never going to be a good fit for me,
  9. Homeschooling and long distance running are never going to be a good fit for me,
  10. Homeschooling and my bank balance are never going to be a good fit for me,
  11. Homeschooling, my bank balance and holidays are never going to be a good for me,
  12. High petrol prices are not an issue when you don’t drive your car for 6 weeks,
  13. I can now make my own pizza bases as long as they are square shaped. Round is beyond me,
  14. I can fill a freezer up real quick when I start saving leftover food,
  15. A dairy and gluten free diet is a pain in the arse when the shops sell out of specialist diet ranges,
  16. I miss football on the telly,
  17. I miss alpine sports on the telly,
  18. I hate the news now. I miss the days of moaning about Brexit,
  19. I’m a barnpot yet I would do a better job of running our country than the clowns currently in charge. Apparently it’s ok for a Prime Minister to miss FIVE emergency meetings and have weekends off during a national emergency,
  20. My Son knows more than I do,
  21. Receiving a parcel from Amazon now feels as dangerous as trying to change a fuel rod in a nuclear reactor,
  22. Not being able to get Sons favourite Soup, Beans, Skinless Sausages and Pasta is one of the most stressful things in the world,
  23. I must be really vexing to live with,
  24. Cheap tea bags taste the same regardless of how many times I reuse them,
  25. Using Yorkshire Slang Words gets me put on the Spam Naughty List,
  26. At some stage I might have to physically talk to someone else than our son. I’m dreading that thought,
  27. You can still get colds if you are isolating from the outside world,
  28. When I’m carefully stood in my designated 2m queuing area why can’t I stop thinking about how long virus particles stay airborne for,
  29. I get so excited when I see an aeroplane now that I must rush to check where it’s flying to,
  30. I haven’t combed my hair in 6 weeks,
  31. Where does all the so called spare time disappear when I’m on lockdown,
  32. The more I learn German the less I can remember of French. It’s as if for every new German word entering my brain, a French one has to pop out to make space,
  33. I will even talk to slugs these days,
  34. Don’t set up a darts challenge with your son then at the last minute realise you don’t have a dartboard or darts,
  35. The Government and Chief Executives of major companies only email me when there is a pandemic going on,
  36. I still hate U2,
  37. I want to live in Switzerland
  38. I’m still a widow. Or as my Predictive Text tries to type – I am still a window,
  39. These days it really doesn’t matter if I put my pants on back to front.

85 thoughts on “Facts”

  3. Wow. So, I’m thinking instead of trying to write a to do list or(lust) maybe you should pretend you are writing one of these lists.

    I was going to start commenting on your points, but I realized I had lost track of where I was on the list.

    See we both have kind of the same problem in different ways…lol Does this help at all?? Probably not.

    Oh, by the way. If you don’t have a dog it is okay to talk to slugs. Slugs definitely move slower, so the conversation most likely be longer. Well, that is unless you run out of things to talk abou at.

    Have a good as you can weird world week.

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  4. Is item 2 an unconscious message? It’s right near the top.
    14. How often do you serve the leftovers, or are you just hiding them?
    39. Have you tried top to bottom and inside out yet? It’s a bit of a workout

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  8. *I write lust alot too.
    * our ‘leader’ is a bigger joke than yours
    * I’m forgetting English words without learning any new foriegn ones
    *why where pants at all?

    Pasta is still scarce here too. I have tons of it though, I had a bunch before. Is it a specific brand or shape that Son prefers?

    * I miss sleeping too!!💌💌

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  9. #12 lowest prices for petrol/gas $1.70 a gallon, and that 1 gallon lasts me 2 weeks now. Instead of a full tank every fortnight. £ is so low that our pensions are barely covering expenses. Len had a fall today. Worried about my granddaughter, and my list goes on.

    Shut up women. 😶

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  10. I think the slugs here must know the one you’ve been conversing with – they said to say “Hey”.
    All I can think of when I go to get the mail is< how many hands have touched this? Have any of them tested positive for covid-19? (Same goes for pretty much everything I buy in the grocery store) It can be both annoying and frightening so I try to brush those thoughts away as quickly as I can.

    Why is it that people insist on coming close to me in the store and not practicing that 2-metre rule? And yes, I think about how long it lives in the air too.

    Please forward any message from your friend, the slug. His cousins are waiting. Thanks.

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  11. You brought a smile to my face, you did. I’ve got a lot of this circling round my mind as well. Homeschooling isn’t awful…so long as I don’t have to do any testing. THAT scares me. They can do work, I can help them with work, but for the love of the Lord, PLEASE don’t make me assess what the heck they’re supposed to be learning!

    And I swear, it’s like every single person in this neighborhood now has adog but us…and those dogs have decided our yard is for their poop…

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    1. I’m so pleased you smiled. That made me smile. I think the dogs are showing a sign of respect and love. We have our first online test this afternoon. Like you I’m dreading it. So hoping the teacher marks it. Are the summer schools the kids are going to day ones or do they involve boarding. Summer schools are a bit of a new thing here. My only real contact with them was through things like ScoobyDoo and Camp Scare. Sorry we don’t get out much in Yorkshire. xx

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  13. I read your list to Andrew. We both laughed out loud at many of these. That’s awesome that your phone works better since it’s been washed. Lol. I can so relate to what you said about amazon packages. I plunked one down in the bedroom and left it there for a couple of days wondering how I should tackle it. Then I finally opened if treated the box like it was contagious, and washed the item inside. I read an article recently by a parent who was convinced that this Pandemic is going to turn her child into a germ-aphobe. I think it might just do that to all of us.

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      1. It’s so confusing. Here the advice is low risk. But then other experts are saying depending on the packaging it might be able for a virus to survive in sufficient numbers for hours or even a couple of days. So confusing.

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    2. So pleased it made you laugh. It’s funny I got a new shaver delivered on Friday. I left the package outside for an hour. That was the plan. I forgot and it was outside until Monday. Good job it didn’t rain much. I do think many are going to struggle returning to the world again.

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  17. Love the list…and #21! My Amazon delivery guy approached my door like he was carrying nitroglycerin! Didn’t help that he was also a dead ringer for the Unabomber! 😀

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  20. I slept awful last night too. And I had the weirdest dreams. My foods I eat for my specific diet are all out too. And sometimes it is just easier to eat something I never would before and eat what the rest of the family eats. Anyway, I feel like I’m gaining a few extra belly fat pounds. So in my dream last night, when I met people, they didn’t wave hi or shake my hands, they squeezed my belly fat. Very disturbing! Don’t judge the pudge! And 20 is the same here 🙂

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    1. The other week I had a dream about running in a televised half marathon. I was racing in cycle shorts and a vest. It started to rain and they started to shrink. I was trying everything to avoid the tv cameras seeking my tummy. It was an awful dream. Sounds like in our dreams we are in the same racing team. Again this week the shop had virtually no food for my diet. Like you I end up eating what I’ve cooked for son. So not impressed with the thought of no long runs so started looking out for a local second hand treadmill. Is your foot improving.

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      1. Yes the foot is getting much better I think. Of course I couldn’t go through life without SOME ailment though. A couple of weeks ago I tried to prove to Catelyn I could still do a giant cartwheel and ended up hurting my hamstring. Officially wearing an old lady “moron” hat. Sorry, I haven’t gotten back to you. For some reason I am not getting notifications like I used to about my comments on other blogs. I went and searched a few today to see that I am missing out. I wonder what i did to upset the WP people?

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      2. If your wearing on old lady hat. I’ve got the prehistoric lumbering herbivore hat on. I would pay good money to see that cartwheel attempt. I was checking my spam folder as someone else was having problems and I found a few of your comments in there. From a couple of days back. I spammed them but the new ones seemed ok anyway. Must admit it happened to me and I had to get my name cleared. Once I found the right address it was done within hours.

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  23. Sorry you got so little sleep my friend. It never makes for a great mood the next day! Reading your lust(!) made me smile. I think you should try some conversation with someone. Video call a relative or friend. Face that fear head on.
    Who needs to comb their hair .. overrated activity. The only reason I get out of pjs is a video meeting or a run. Oh and shopping and going into the hospital but tbf … I’d do that in pjs if I could guarantee not getting sacked or arrested.

    I’m sad for you that you are a window but I’m always impressed and astounded by your humour and approach to life with your son as a single parent. Have a good, no doubt tired, day x

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      1. Hey. This didn’t come up in my notifications oddly.
        Today was ok. No running. I have been out but doing a mix of walking and running due to very tired legs at the moment.

        Hope you sleep tonight. I’m not having much luck as you can tell! X

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  24. That last one is funny.
    Here are a few of mine:
    Fuel prices are below a pound here and we can’t make use of it because the car’s already full!!
    We are experiencing beautiful sunny days with a chill factor that reduces temperatures by eight degrees.
    I’m noticing how fat my neighbours are getting and wonder if they think the same about me, though my scales are keeping me well within my SW target parameters.
    I miss chocolate…… and biscuits……. and jelly babies…….and cheesecake……. and buns……….
    I’m missing the multitude of daily walks more than the dog.
    The washing machine seems extra busy.
    It doesn’t seem weird to have stew on a sunny day.
    I plan to do things in the morning but somehow the morning’s gone before I can start.
    The heating is off during the day, but the nights are freezing!

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  31. Okay, so I am reading your post, in the morning now with a cup of coffee, and I have to admit that you really made my day.

    It’s funny to think of how many things exactly we learn and how this quarantine gets to change our lives, for good or for bad.

    I dare you to stop complaining about the fact that you would like to go to the sea or the mountain. You are so lucky to just enjoy the garden. All that I get is the balcony view, which is frankly not so great when you glance at it every single day.

    And yes, colds are terrible when you get them from the inside. Two days ago started exercising with my window open, got cold chills and after a shower, I knew I was fighting the flu again. But I can’t help it, exercising is one of the few things that makes me happy nowadays.

    Thank you for sharing, take care and stay healthy! 🙂

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  35. It may well be that the French and Germans have disliked each other for so long that brains can only hold one of them unless your first language is either French or German 😁🐗🐗

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