Today’s out of focus wildlife action shot is of someone who lives in our roof. Actually taken yesterday when the sun was shining. Our housemate is about the only member of our household who gets out these days.

This is the seventh week of Son’s own version of the lockdown. A few dog walks in the early weeks but then going through the garden gate became increasingly difficult for him. Even in the security of our car, a simple trip out onto the road becomes an anxiety crisis. When he returns he immediately washes his hands for minutes then has to have a shower and bath. These are genuine fears. Fears that effect his life. The excessive need to wash is not new. He has been shown how to clean his hands like a nurse. He has hand washing drills that set time limits. But sometimes it’s best to let these lapse as the excessive cleaning is often more about ridding his soul of anxieties rather than purely removing germs from his skin. Especially when a virus surrounds him which has so many unknowns.

He won’t be alone in these fears and feelings.

A chap in London with a little NHS badge announcing that the lockdown is being eased or lifted is not the end of the matter. It’s not as if it’s a water tap which we can instantly turn on and off. That’s also assuming that the virus remains under control and doesn’t spike again. Under Control is a rather worrying definition these days. It appears to mean keeping daily infections running into thousands and deaths below 300 a day. That’s just hospital based deaths not including the huge numbers occurring in care homes or in the wider community. For many the easing of restrictions is just the start of a long and painful slog. No sudden street parties for them. It’s about trying to repair bridges between the safety of their homes and the wider world. Picking up sufficient confidence to walk past that front gate. To meet people again. That’s going to be so tough with no guarantee of success.

So for the foreseeable future, our little starling will be the only one venturing out.

62 thoughts on “Safety”

  2. How awful for Son!! And how hard for you that you can’t “fix” it. We parents try so hard to make things good and easier for the little ones (and the adult “little ones” too). Baby steps, reassurance and lots of love is the best you can do. And it’s good enough!
    💌💌

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  5. Someone I follow has the same rituals as your son.

    As much as I’d love to “return to normal”, I have no plans to do so if restrictions ate lifted soon. I have no safety net, no one to care for me or my cats, so I’ll continue to be cautious until I feel safe.

    The daily parrot flock flyover just happened. I really need to get it on vid! There are about 20 or 30 birds that fly over. The full flock must be well over 200 birds by now. Maybe I’ll take a drive and photo/vid their main roost.

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      1. I was caught in the middle of a MASSIVE bee migration as a kid… million of bees… wall to wall and feet deep in a canyon. Lots of panic… by both me and my patents who just stood and watched. But not a single sting.

        The parrots are crazy-loud and nearly on a schedule yet I’m never prepared to record them. Their path varies a little but not much.

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  7. I envy my dog, the squirrels in the garden, the flowering bushes. We’re a standstill, fearful, they go on.
    Keep watching those birds.The rituals comfort your son.

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  8. This must be a really difficult situation for you both. Fears are very real for kids and don’t just go away when people are expected to “get back to it.” Sending strength to you both.

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  10. Bob is similar. He hasn’t left the house in forever as he fears he will contract the virus as well. He figures if anyone is going to get it, it will be him. This will have long term effects on a lot of people. I imagine we are going to be seeing face masks for years.

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      1. I do. We aren’t allowed in any store without one on. There is someone standing there policing, making sure all are abiding the face mask rules. They are so itchy. I spend so much time scratching my face I am certain THAT is how I will end up catching the stupid virus. Because of MASKS.

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      3. I think so too. Since they are required here I wonder if people will just stop wearing them once we are told “all clear.” I bet some will be wearing them for years.

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  11. I feel for your son, having experienced something similar in my teens following a panic attack in the street. It is no comparison I know, and I was only housebound for a few weeks, but the fear of going out was paramount as I was terrified it would happen again and this time I would not be able to claw my way home. Thoughts are with you. Keep safe.

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      2. Oh they so are. People are also seeing other countries relaxing stuff but they don’t appreciate the mess we made of things. We are weeks and weeks behind the others. Plus Germany has seen its infection rates go up after easing things.

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  13. I think he is not alone in his fears. I know a fair few people already who are very anxious about venturing out again. Some stating they are going to stay indoors whenever they can, regardless of any easing of restrictions. It’s going to take a long long time for confidence to return and I fear a yo-yo effect anyway with us going back and forth for months to come.

    Stay safe together and take small steps when you are both ready and he is able. X

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