Yesterday the sun was shining and the garden was filled with colour. Today the sun is gone. It’s cold, very cold. A biting strong wind blows across a grey landscape.
The weather matches my mood…..
After days of care free smiles, today the smile is a little forced. Thoughts are a little darker. The world seems a cold and increasingly lonely place. Rather than thinking of memories as precious blessings, all too easily my wanders to thoughts of what has been lost. What is no more. Waves of self doubt crash in. Problems outweigh opportunities.
But that’s life. Just like the weather you get good days then bad days. In my case the secret is to try and make sure it doesn’t turn into Good Days and then Bad Weeks. That’s the risk with my depression. It’s so easy for me to fall into that negative mindset. Nothing comes after the Bad times. Life becomes a never ending slog.
I look out of the window at the awful weather and what do I see. Yes no sun, but the white and red flowers are still there. They still have colour and beauty. That reminds me that the weather may change but hope can always remain. Got to keep working at this thing called life. Bad times will pass and the sun will return. Yes even in Yorkshire.
As I get older, I become more convinced that life, bereavement, whatever journey I’m on is like swimming. Swimming to an ever receding islands. As hard as I swim, that island can never be reached. If I stop trying then I will definitely start to drown. Somedays the waves are heavy, the tide against me. Swimming is so hard. But if I keep going then eventually the waves will ease and that tide will change. Flowing in my direction. Still have to work but suddenly swimming becomes enjoyable. Enjoy those moments, live in the moment.
So today the swimming is hard work. But got to keep going. Got to keep aiming for that island.
I’m the same Gary x
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I know you are x
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❤️
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The photo is gorgeous..Nature is my mood-lifter as well.
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It really is.
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We are all your island, here for you whenever you need us. You are loved by many, by sharing yourself with us ❤
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Thank you xx
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Yes. Swimming is hard work. I’m treading water today.
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Whisper it …. I can’t actually swim.
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Shhhhh me either
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🙏
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I’ve been thinking about you and Son today, hoping you found a few happy moments, or if not happy, content and peaceful.
You’re right, the bad times don’t last forever, even if they seem to. Laughter and joy will be yours again. For Son, and for you.💌💌
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We both know that we take whatever happiness comes our way. That’s all we can do. xx
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Hugs Gary.
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Thank you Sadje xx
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You’re welcome 😉
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Good analogy.
Made me realize I’m treading water, no islands visible and unable to decide which direction to swim cause I don’t see a goal.
I hope you find depressed days with happy MONTHS
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I often find that the islands disappears or I find out it’s been the wrong island I’ve been heading to. xx
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Yeah… I’ve changed islands a lot on my life. This is the first time I’ve not been able to see one anywhere.
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Hopefully soon.
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Sometimes, we are striving against fate–maybe we are not suppose to get to that island. Maybe we are headed in the wrong direction. Have a Blessed Week!
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That’s so true. Thank you.
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excellent analogy..i often think of the movie Finding Nemo and sing Dory’ s “just keep swimming” line to myself over & over..it seems to help:)
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Yes that’s such a good way to look at life. xx
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Lovely flowers.
Sometimes, you gotta do the Otter thing…flip over on your back and float a while. You will gather strength to go on.
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You so do. Funny thing is that I can’t swim.
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Oh, no…life jacket for you.
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Big one.
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LOL!
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xx
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No way????
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Yes way….. and which film does that come from?
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Bill and Ted Dude! X
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I love the line…..all we are is dust in the wind – Dude. x
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Dust …. Wind … Dude. X
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The Dark. R84 L53. Sleep well dude. x
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You are better than me in the dark for sure dude x
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Dude that is still to be proved. x
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That rhymes, Dude x
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That’s clearly your influence on me. Dude. x
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Awesome Dude 😎
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I’m toying with the idea of letting Son watch it. x
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He’d love it! Maybe I’ll let my two watch it as well. X
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Why not. Can’t be as bad as Deadpool. I can’t believe I thought Deadpool was just like Spider-Man.
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I did exactly the same! Huge parenting fail. We didn’t continue with it (well I watched it but minus children)
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We watched it and then the second one. Got to say the 2nd one is disgraceful but so funny.
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I saw the second one too. So disgraceful but hilarious
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I nearly wet myself on the parachute scene.
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I must watch it again. It’s nice to just laugh throughout a film.
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It is. Makes you forget the negative stuff.
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I love getting lost in a good film .. light hearted and stress free one! Or a book.
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How about if someone throws you a life raft?
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I will have to think about that. Not considered that option yet.
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yeah life rafts… That is a good idea.
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Funny never thought about that option in my analogy…
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maybe you ain’t at that bit yet x
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Maybe. Time will tell x
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Let’s hope that whilst the waves are crashing around one of us, there are others in still waters, grabbing a life jacket to help us carry on to the island safely.
My depression is the same. If I allow it to take hold it becomes far more than one or two ‘bad days’. It does pass. I’m sorry you were feeling that way. Always here if you need a friendly ‘virtual’ hug x
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Thank you my friend. Sending hugs to you as well. xxx
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🤗
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Too cold to swim today….
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Yep. I managed 5 mile run though.
How are you doing today? Feeling any better?
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I pleased you went. Do you run by yourself or have you got a running partner?
I’m ok. Not great but definitely manageable.
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I run alone. I put my earphones in and listen to music. Years ago I ran with a friend of mine, that was good.
I’m glad you are managing. It’s hard not to let it take over, especially now when life is on hold. Especially for you with additional challenges in your life. Maybe you could start yoga too? 😉
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I’ve become a solo runner. I might just do that. Will wait for you to test run it first.
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Yep. I prefer solo running. I find my own pace that way and it feels more comfortable. I sort a lot of things out in my head when I run. I wish you were able to get out for your runs. It would help you so much x
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I do. You get to think. No disruptions. No one telling you what to think.
One day x
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Yep
For sure. One day
And in the meantime we have dark balance challenge and now yoga!
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It’s harder in the dark. R53, L38. Maybe yoga with the lights on.
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Yoga will have to be with the lights on or I’ll be stuck in one position all night!
R34 L11
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That will be painful. Don’t worry, I will send a search party for you. We need to practice.
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Thank you 🙏
Practice definitely required. Maybe we need more ‘zen’ in the dark?
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Would sign up for that.
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😊
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With lights on R134 L122. Soon part 2.
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Anyone who reads your comments will wonder what the bloody hell we are talking about!
In the dark … R41 L15
Total rubbish, no zen here tonight
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At least we understand.
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That’s the most important thing here. That we have full and complete knowledge about the waffle we engage in x
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That’s a tick in the box then from the two of us then. x
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✅
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Thank god you have a garden and flowers. Watched a Gardeners World episode on Friday that featured Will Young talk about how great gardening is for his mental health. It’s so true.
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It really is. Looking back I can see why Dad spent so much time gardening.
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Your thoughts are so sound
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Thank you sir.
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I’m sorry. I hope the mood will lift and give you a bit of break. Thinking of you and wishing you loads of happiness!
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Thank you Robyn. Any sign of longer runs for you yet?
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Not yet. I did get a new pair of running shoes for my birthday but I am saving them for when I can get out and get a nice long run in. Any long runs for you?
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No just running round and round the garden. Definitely looks like school for son is closed till at least September. So guessing That garden is going to be the only runs for the next 3.5 months. So miss the runs. I bet your missing them so much as well.
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Yes. In my area I think I could get out and run but I think I have to wear a face mask. I’d rather not do that. Just going to wait it out. Probably good for all my aches and pains to recover.
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You have a treadmill don’t you? Maybe that’s the secret until you can unmask.
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I do! Bob and I have worked out a schedule – I can run from 7-8 or from 8-9 in the morning. So I can get some legit miles in, but nothing too long. But you are right, I can get some miles in and that’s something!
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I do so hope you get out into the trails soon.
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Thank you
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It SNOWED here yesterday.
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Do you often get snow in May
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no. That’s why this is so weird. Last time I remember was early May 1980 as I was in college and we walked through 5″ of snowy slush to go lay out at the lake.
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Should be warm now.
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Nope. 30*F this morning. Frost EVERYWHERE!!
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That’s been out temperatures. Just damp no snow.
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I had a major depression a few years ago – brought on by exhaustion and extensive worries over a long period of time. If there was one goal you would like to achieve, what would that be?
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Helping Son be happy.
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What about something which is for you and can is a straightforward goal to achieve?
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I think it would be to start climbing again.
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Hope you can do it!
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Fingers crossed
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Wow…your thoughts here are so like mine. I just recently compared my health struggles to that scene in Castaway where Tom Hanks takes his raft out on the water but he can’t get past those crashing waves. But I’m stubborn. I don’t give up. And as Tom put it, you never know what the tide might bring in. That’s hope. ☺ I hope you see brighter skies again soon. Prayers going up… I still believe the best is yet to come, and we can thrive even in difficulties.
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Thank you Tina. x I remember that scene, it is so like life. But you so right. We never know what the tide will bring. Always hope. Always a reason to dream my friend.
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I totally get you, Gary. When I read your lines I thought that over time (after a lot of swimming practice) you may even find a technique to float…
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That takes so much time but would be worth it.
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Right, at least, it would be worth it!
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It so would.
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Here’s a hug! Good luck, you can do this. Or in the words of Commander Taggart:
“Never give up, never surrender” from ‘Galaxy Quest’ (1999)
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That’s a cool movie. Thank you.
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Reading this is sadly relatable. I believe both our thoughts are wondering. Please just keep pushing forward. And push those sad days out of your mind. I am thinking of you, Gary. You can email you have it. Or I believe you do still. Hugs😔
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Thank you so much. x
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Your. Welcome. 😌
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🙏
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I have my moments with things too. It’s ok to have those moments for however long you need – just don’t let it exhaust you or take your spirit ??
Life is just gonna suck … we gonna lose people before we ready, shits gonna hit the fan, money is gonna suck, I have suck stuff too. I also have those moments too…
But you seem to be quite together, and pretty strong – that’s admirable considering what you went through!
Life doesn’t really give you moments to process through things – it just keeps coming at you. So ya know it’s hard.
But from the outside – you seem pretty together… you have quite the funny stories, and opinions lol ✌️ … it’s ok to feel down and miss – you always gonna have that.
I’m just saying don’t be so hard on yourself – you’re doing good.
I’m sorry you are sad 😔
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I guess we all are sad some days. That’s life. Today is better. I really hope your smiling. x
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Well yeah, you can’t give up … don’t miss life either
Even in my lowest moments … I try to remember what is in my life that I am blessed with, and I am alive… I also always remember, there is always someone out there who has it way worse. My life is a gift that I don’t know how long I will get to have for… so I don’t want to miss the full potential of my gift? Lol odd way to put it – but whatever … I just don’t wanna miss what I do have, because life crushed me – and I’m stubborn… reminds me of the song “this little light of mine” ✌️… I just do that lol
It doesn’t help matters much with the weather you have – the gray cold cloudy/rainy stuff is nice once in awhile – but that CAN effect how you feel.
Just because it’s hard doesn’t mean it’s not worth it… and the things that are worth it – are always hard ✌️
Glad you are better today.
Yeah I’m smiling – I smile a lot – I use comedy to get through things … have to smile to be ok… the day my smile stops, will be the day I’m done ✌️
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That’s such a great approach to life. I must learn from you. Smiling must be part of the rent we pay for living here. x
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Had my own experiences so just how it shaped out for me. Is different view for everyone
I don’t view smile in same category as rent 😝😄✌️
Gonna be a dork for a sec…
A smile is the shortest distance between 2 people ❤️
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight ❤️
Use your smile to change the world, don’t let the world change your smile ✌️❤️
A smile is a universal welcome 💕
Peace begins with a smile ✌️
And although I have thousands more I can shoot off lol… here is just one more…
A smile is a light in the window of your soul.
A smile is always free… you just have to be the one to find it in your own way. ✌️
Ps sorry about the dork vomit – happens lol … wasn’t a cheerleader – but totally coulda been if we had been anywhere long enough 😄✌️
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Yes you are so right. Sending you a smile.
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