A fine northern river. Many bridges connecting both sides of the city. Without those bridges and the city is split asunder.

Son do you want to go out for a blueberry ice cream?

“No it’s ok Dad.”

Son do you want to go and visit your Auntie. We can keep 2m apart when we get there?

“Not this week.”

How about visiting your favourite toy shop. It’s open?

“No I’ve got plenty of stuff to do.”

What about going to that remote walk and going to see that Neolithic site. We can stop off and get one of your favourite pizzas?

“No, maybe some other time.”

These are some of his favourite things. In 2019 the slightest mention of any of these would have sent our Son running towards the car. That’s all changed now. He has most definitely burnt his bridges with the world. He is also in no rush to start to build them again. Many people will be in the same boat. We have a community split asunder. Split in more ways than this….

I understand someone from the so called Government was not happy with pupils been kept off school. Kids should be forced back to schools as it will be good for them. They don’t have the slightest idea about Mental Health awareness. Good job we are ignoring what they say.

It’s going to be a long road back for some. Certainly for our Son. It’s pointless putting a timescale on it. It will happen when it happens. Until then the bridges will remain down and we make the best of it. I’m looking out across the next door farm and into the distance. We are so blessed. We certainly can make this work for us. No rush for bridges here.

64 thoughts on “Building Bridges”

  2. Beautiful Photos. I think that hesitation is very real for many of us. Yes, those restrictions have been loosened, but it still feels like there is caution on the wind. While I don’t feel that caution on the scale that your son does, I don’t blame him one bit. It’s definitely going to take time. I’m glad that you’re in no rush. Patience is a really great trait for a dad to have.

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    1. I think we all need patience in life. We can’t always expect things to turn out right the first time. So like your wonderful personal story your telling.
      We are certainly lucky living in a village. Not so many people about. Which is also great as a Dad as I can wear whatever I like….

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  3. I was in a grocery store the other day. It was later in the afternoon and it was busy. I had to step out of the way several times to maintain distance. It was super stressful. So many are carrying on as if the pandemic never came to visit here. It did. Most were not wearing masks either. So, I am with your son. I would burn the bridges if I could. I might feel differently if people had even one iota of sense. I want to be able to hug my son and my daughter when I see them, but with so much unknown about this thing and with the threat of that second wave hanging over us I will continue to be as careful as possible. And I will not be going into a grocery store in the afternoon for a good, long time.

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      1. Just last evening we learned an employee at a McDonald’s here has tested positive. How many other people have that one person interacted with at work and out and about. It is just crazy to be so complacent in my opinion. I agree it does seem like a long way into the future before we can relax somewhat.

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  4. Poor Son. I just know that he berates himself for his fear. He’s so smart. You are awesome for offering and then letting it go, even though I’m sure you’d love to run somewhere, anywhere beside your garden.

    Don’t ever doubt that you’re doing a fantastic job of parenting! And being stuck in one spot, at least you have all that sky to look at! Gorgeous!
    💌💌

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  7. Oh my heart goes out to your son! I can understand his fear and you are doing the best thing you can. Giving him the gift of your patience!! So heartwarming! ❤ He is one very lucky boy to have you as his Dad.

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  10. As you know from my blog post, I am in no hurry to do a lot of things that I did before all this.
    As much as I would like to see a friend in Oxford in August, which I have a coach booked for that, I have anxiety about it. I am hoping this will end up being cancelled like another day trip was last month.
    I expect it will end up being cancelled and I am hoping it will.

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  11. In response to Carol Hopkins…Unfortunately even during the pandemic, the grocery stores were still packed for most hours of the day or opening hours because it was the only place people could still go to feel some sense of normal. I was like um you guys are missing the point, the pandemic is not normal. I work in a grocery store and I was lucky enough that I work the night shift so we were closed during those times, but the day shift would always tell me it was still packed as ever during the morning and afternoon. People also forget they often create their own rushes. ‘oh I will go in the very early morning or late evening to shop no one else will be there…’ well when everyone has that mind set then everyone shows up at those times. Lol. It pissed me off, especially the odd time I had to shop during those times, which was luckily rare. I tried to shop as much as I could right after we got off work and sometimes our managers would let us get the few essential things on our lunch hour when we were closed at night as long as we didn’t get more than one item of each of what we needed. Our society was not ready for this pandemic and no one knew how to respond, and it sadly effected us more than it needed too. The pandemic could have been a lot better than it was. Closing society too late and people still going out etc caused the numbers to spike and remain high.

    I feel for your son and you. Also am glad to hear you are not forcing your child to go back to school. Not sure where you reside? The USA numbers are actually not going down like the media is telling us. My doctor told me to not trust anything, they are just testing less people to make it look like the numbers are dropping and are not sharing how many deaths are still happening. The virus is still very much alive here. The government just decided the economy was more important than our health. I think reopening society when people couldn’t even follow the restrictions when they were there is very scary. Outside of work (and unfortunately we are now still open for the first two hours of my shift when I go in) my husband and I are not going anywhere public yet. If anything we go on bike rides or walks where it is just him and I. Where it is too stressful to practice social distancing we don’t do it. My life right now is still pretty much like the pandemic still exists. Let’s hope we see things go back to normal soon. Stay safe and take every precaution necessary for you and your son. Your safety comes first. The governments can’t protect us, if they could we wouldn’t have had such a mess in the first place.

    They are also worried all these peaceful protests and how the citizens have responded to the George Floyd incident is going to spark numbers again….most of them including even the peaceful protestors are not wearing masks. In crowds like that masks can’t even protect much anyways.

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    1. Here they are starting to blame the protests for any coming rise in numbers. They don’t mention all the other stuff they let happen before that. The protests are not the cause it’s just another thing for the so called leaders to blame for their mistakes. The UK numbers are said to be low but they are still more than the entire other EU countries combined. Out testing is a joke. And we are starting to make the same mistakes we made that got us into this mess. People don’t know when to wear masks, what masks to use and the 2m rule has gone out the window in shops. Feels like a long way to go yet. Look after yourself.

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  12. I think most of us hesitate to resume what we did before the pandemic, so your son’s reticence is entirely understandable. He doesn’t want to « lose » anyone else.

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  14. I’m still perplexed by the government’s attitude to school reopening. There are a lot of children who would benefit from some kind of access to an on-site education but not every child needs to go back immediately. This has been traumatic for our young people and, regardless of the logistics of social-distancing in school (which are a nightmare in themselves) we surely have to take a pragmatic look at the whole education system and rebuild it around the situation we find ourselves in. If it means it takes longer for some children to return to the classroom or indeed that some never return, the system should allow for that. Ironically there are more than enough qualified teachers in the UK to trial new ways of doing things but a lot of them don’t work as teachers anymore because this government has made the profession so unrewarding and unappealing.

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    1. I have to say our school has shown what is possible. They have tried to get a few kids back in but the numbers are tiny, no canteen possible and they only go in for a fraction of the week. What’s going to happen when all kids turn up in September. Surely we should be using online tuition and use school as a centre which is only visited when essential.

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  16. I am sorry your son is so afraid. That’s tough. I’ve had to go out in it this whole time which I guess has dissipated some of the fear of the virus, but as I see things open I am now faced with the harsh reality of “you are going to have to talk to people soon.” That thought is terrifying. Love the photos – looks so calm and peaceful (and maybe a little odiferous of the fresh scent of “cow” 🙂 ).

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    1. I’m so with you on this. I basically have not had a proper face to face conversation (excluding son) since March. It does terrify me as well. Feels like some of the progress we have made over the years has gone as it’s starting over again. Luckily the cows have a large area to use so the smell is largely absent. Take care Robyn.

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  17. All you can do is keep offering and one day he might decide to take a step forward. Until that day know there are invisible bridges you can use to transport yourself to imaginary places … it can keep you going some days x

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  18. The good thing is that the bridges still will be there whenever he decides to cross them. As long as he is fine with not crossing them, the world is ok for him. What about you? Are you still ok with staying in your son’s world? I know your son’s wellbeing is first priority but you need to take care that you can still breathe and don’t feel imprisoned. I just thought how much you would have loved to do one of those things you mentioned in your post.

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    1. I would be fibbing to say I don’t miss them. But son is the priority and I just have to adapt. You find different ways of keeping yourself going. Last night I looked at some of my favourite mountain view photos. Including a couple from your blog and your garden view. They are so uplifting. Reminds me that it’s still a wonderful world. x

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      1. You are doing the right thing because in the end, joy and good feelings are with the person who sees it in the heart. You have so many wonderful pictures stored in there and the biggest pulsing light of love which shines for your son. I hope that I can make a trip somewhere in the area to share more views 🌞

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  19. I feel for you both. Obviously, I cannot begin to understand what your son feels. You, are totally devoted to your son and I admire you for it, but who looks after you? All I am able to do is send best wishes…there is no shortage of those for you.

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