It’s yellow rose time.
It’s simple being a rose. Just got to worry about getting the colour of the petals right. Can’t have a White Rose suddenly going red. That’s just a no no in Yorkshire. Would I trust myself to be a rose – probably not. Hopefully the gardener would attach a label to remind me what colour I needed to be.
For the last few years I’ve labelled myself. First of all I labelled myself as a WIDOW. Initially I was a YOUNG WIDOW but the young bit was stretching the truth a little too far. I was also labelled a SINGLE PARENT. Son also correctly labelled me a MUPPET.
I can think of a few other labels I could go for but sadly they would not be widely accepted…
- Chef
- Gardener
- DIY expert
- Multilingual
- Musical
- 6ft tall
- Thor like.
I can think of a few more labels which are more applicable to me..
- I’ve been called a Socialist before – with some of my views, I probably am,
- Plant Killer – oh yes,
- Weapons Grade Cook – can’t argue with that,
- Metal Head/Headbanger – the cd collection and the Iron Maiden T-shirt gives that away,
- Newcastle United Fan – otherwise known as a Loser….
- Little Bro – yes I am the youngest sibling but bizarrely I am the tallest…
But last week I was reading a post by a wise blogger who can actually call himself a gardener. Suddenly I came across another label. A label which potentially fits as well.
BACHELOR
I call myself a widow but in the eyes of the law, I am not. We were together for nearly two decades. Living as close as any couple. But we never got round to get married. We (I) thought we had plenty of time. My worst ever call. Going to take that mistake with me to my grave.
So given that fact then yes I am kinda a BACHELOR. It doesn’t sound right to me. It’s bizarre that until last week I would never have thought that label applied. Never crossed my mind. I know that I’m starting to overthink this. It’s only a silly label. It’s what’s in the heart that matters. But it did unsettle me for some reason.
Does WIDOWED BACHELOR sound any better.
Before I was in a nearly fatal accident that left me in a coma and with a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) I was concerned with labels. There were labels that applied to me that I didn’t like. Now, 4 years after the accident and those same labels apply and some new ones do too… Yet, I don’t really care. My accident taught me many things and one of them was to be easier on and nicer to myself! And oftentimes labels don’t tell the whole story (well, they never do).
LikeLiked by 1 person
They certainly don’t tell the whole story. I’m slowly getting better ignoring the labels.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well… even though you write partner, I always forget that you weren’t hitched in the eyes of the law. You sound so very married. So widow sounds right to me. No point in beating yourself up. Here you’d be called common law married. And apparently if a couple spends 2 years apart they are considered divorced by law. That kinda makes sense. I don’t know too many couples that spend two years apart. Andrew and I only spent 1 night apart in 25 years. And that was only because the hospital held me overnight. 😕 Stinkin’ hospital.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pesky hospital. I bet even on that day apart, your we’re together in spirit. Hope your smiling.😀
LikeLike
Yes, definitely! I was worried about him and he was worried about me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can’t imagine what that felt like. Maybe it’s a reminder of what you both have which is so important for you. 😄
LikeLike
Yes, it’s definitely an important reminder. ☺
LikeLiked by 1 person
😀🙏
LikeLiked by 1 person
At least your label doesn’t read: hang out to dry. Everyone’s label should read handle with care though.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That made me laugh. I think mine would be either – garment creases easily or colours may fade.
LikeLike
Glad that made you laugh. 😊 Smiling at the rest of your comment.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It really did. Still does. 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
😄 Yay!
LikeLiked by 1 person
And still does.
LikeLike
Alright, I will leave you be till Monday. Have a great weekend, Gary. ☺
LikeLike
Look after yourself Tina. I really hope your smile lots and have a lovely couple of days. See you next week. 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
Widowed bachelor sounds fine. Labels are useless. It’s what you think you’re that matters
LikeLiked by 1 person
Exactly
LikeLiked by 1 person
👍👍👍
LikeLiked by 1 person
We should never equate our identity with what we do or with any sort of labels. Who we are in the core of our being, the person God created us to be, is our real identity. So labels only tend to take our attention away from the true “me”. You are unique. I am unique. We are all unique in God’s eyes and that’s what we need to see as our identity.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Absolutely
LikeLike
People use labels to make themselves comfortable, to maintain some quirky sense of order and control…and fail miserably.
I’ve never been one for labels, although my husband did threaten to have a t-shirt made for me that said, “Approach with Caution.” 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can see that.
LikeLike
Thanks, great blog.
I am so weary of the bereaved mother label.
It’s been 14 months since my son died, and of course I’m still grieving, but I don’t want the “bereaved mother” status I didn’t chose it and I’m so over people feeling a little uncomfortable when they spend time with me like they are having an internal debate about whether to mention it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know what you mean. I so want to change the name of this blog. Just can’t think of a good replacement. Look after yourself
LikeLiked by 1 person
Personally I think you defy labels and the love you both had, well I am sure that shone brighter than the stars…. what’s in label? A number of letters forming a word or two.. barely large enough to contain the soul. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Labels are there to be ignored really
LikeLiked by 1 person
totally agree…
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙏
LikeLike
Beautiful yellow rose – I love it!
If you must have a label then it’s definitely not ‘bachelor’. I can see why it doesn’t feel right. Personally, I don’t feel that the label ‘marriage’ makes a relationship any more meaningful or solid. Labels are meaningless without substance or context.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think we were happier than many married couples. Married is no guarantee of happiness.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think you most probably were.
LikeLiked by 1 person
😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
A widow applies to a wife whose husband has died, and a widower is a husband whose wife has died, so if you weren’t married then neither would apply. Neither would a bachelor, as you were in a long-term partnership. That’s a difficult one. Perhaps just say that you were in a partnership but are now single?
LikeLiked by 1 person
True
LikeLiked by 1 person
Love is love, don’t overthink with regret.
Sent from my iPad
>
LikeLiked by 1 person
It so is.
LikeLike
Just recently we had a death in the family… so now our relative is a widow. But she is so much more. Labels to me are restrictions. Though for many years I did a disservice to myself for not accepting the title (rather than label) of what I enjoy most which is artist, poet, writer.
Labels are meaningless because it is truly what is in the heart that matters most.
Enjoy life and those who do love you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. That is so true.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like widowed bachelor
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s got a ring to it…
LikeLiked by 1 person