It’s yellow rose time.

It’s simple being a rose. Just got to worry about getting the colour of the petals right. Can’t have a White Rose suddenly going red. That’s just a no no in Yorkshire. Would I trust myself to be a rose – probably not. Hopefully the gardener would attach a label to remind me what colour I needed to be.

For the last few years I’ve labelled myself. First of all I labelled myself as a WIDOW. Initially I was a YOUNG WIDOW but the young bit was stretching the truth a little too far. I was also labelled a SINGLE PARENT. Son also correctly labelled me a MUPPET.

I can think of a few other labels I could go for but sadly they would not be widely accepted…

  • Chef
  • Gardener
  • DIY expert
  • Multilingual
  • Musical
  • 6ft tall
  • Thor like.

I can think of a few more labels which are more applicable to me..

  • I’ve been called a Socialist before – with some of my views, I probably am,
  • Plant Killer – oh yes,
  • Weapons Grade Cook – can’t argue with that,
  • Metal Head/Headbanger – the cd collection and the Iron Maiden T-shirt gives that away,
  • Newcastle United Fan – otherwise known as a Loser….
  • Little Bro – yes I am the youngest sibling but bizarrely I am the tallest…

But last week I was reading a post by a wise blogger who can actually call himself a gardener. Suddenly I came across another label. A label which potentially fits as well.

BACHELOR

I call myself a widow but in the eyes of the law, I am not. We were together for nearly two decades. Living as close as any couple. But we never got round to get married. We (I) thought we had plenty of time. My worst ever call. Going to take that mistake with me to my grave.

So given that fact then yes I am kinda a BACHELOR. It doesn’t sound right to me. It’s bizarre that until last week I would never have thought that label applied. Never crossed my mind. I know that I’m starting to overthink this. It’s only a silly label. It’s what’s in the heart that matters. But it did unsettle me for some reason.

Does WIDOWED BACHELOR sound any better.

41 thoughts on “Labels”

  1. Before I was in a nearly fatal accident that left me in a coma and with a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) I was concerned with labels. There were labels that applied to me that I didn’t like. Now, 4 years after the accident and those same labels apply and some new ones do too… Yet, I don’t really care. My accident taught me many things and one of them was to be easier on and nicer to myself! And oftentimes labels don’t tell the whole story (well, they never do).

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  2. Well… even though you write partner, I always forget that you weren’t hitched in the eyes of the law. You sound so very married. So widow sounds right to me. No point in beating yourself up. Here you’d be called common law married. And apparently if a couple spends 2 years apart they are considered divorced by law. That kinda makes sense. I don’t know too many couples that spend two years apart. Andrew and I only spent 1 night apart in 25 years. And that was only because the hospital held me overnight. 😕 Stinkin’ hospital.

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  5. We should never equate our identity with what we do or with any sort of labels. Who we are in the core of our being, the person God created us to be, is our real identity. So labels only tend to take our attention away from the true “me”. You are unique. I am unique. We are all unique in God’s eyes and that’s what we need to see as our identity.

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  6. People use labels to make themselves comfortable, to maintain some quirky sense of order and control…and fail miserably.

    I’ve never been one for labels, although my husband did threaten to have a t-shirt made for me that said, “Approach with Caution.” 😀

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  7. Thanks, great blog.
    I am so weary of the bereaved mother label.
    It’s been 14 months since my son died, and of course I’m still grieving, but I don’t want the “bereaved mother” status I didn’t chose it and I’m so over people feeling a little uncomfortable when they spend time with me like they are having an internal debate about whether to mention it.

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  9. Beautiful yellow rose – I love it!
    If you must have a label then it’s definitely not ‘bachelor’. I can see why it doesn’t feel right. Personally, I don’t feel that the label ‘marriage’ makes a relationship any more meaningful or solid. Labels are meaningless without substance or context.

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  10. A widow applies to a wife whose husband has died, and a widower is a husband whose wife has died, so if you weren’t married then neither would apply. Neither would a bachelor, as you were in a long-term partnership. That’s a difficult one. Perhaps just say that you were in a partnership but are now single?

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  12. Just recently we had a death in the family… so now our relative is a widow. But she is so much more. Labels to me are restrictions. Though for many years I did a disservice to myself for not accepting the title (rather than label) of what I enjoy most which is artist, poet, writer.

    Labels are meaningless because it is truly what is in the heart that matters most.
    Enjoy life and those who do love you!

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