A completely random photograph of our hedge…..
A hedge which has many roles. Too many to list but I guess the main ones are
- Photosynthesis,
- Making more hedges,
- Survival,
- Home for wildlife,
- Boundary marker,
- Barrier to try and keep a dog this side of it,
- A Barrier to try and keep a football this side of it,
- Boost to Son’s feeling of security,
- Something to look at,
- A home of long lost toys, balls and garden gnomes,
- And now something to photograph.
Our brush with hospital this week reinforced one issue. Many people including single parents often have few backup options. Plan B’s are rare. I was sat trying to get my head round what would I do if son had to stay overnight on the ward. I wouldn’t leave him (wasn’t allowed to leave him alone). So how was I going to
- Bring in a change of clothes,
- Fetch stuff to entertain him (his iPad and a charger),
- Bring some food and drink which son would actually consider having,
- Fetch my phone charger,
- Feed the pets, let the dog out into the garden,
- Put a new parking ticket on the car,
- Bring my reading glasses,
- Check that I had locked the back door……
Yes in normal times I would have a couple of family options. But these are not normal times. They are either unavailable or would take many hours to arrive. No other immediate options. Thankfully son was allowed to go home at 11pm. But it’s a stark reminder that many of us operate with the most fragile foundations. I was lucky as at least an option existed, even though it was far from practical. Too many people have zero options. That’s a sobering thought.
A Dad trying to cope with the loss of his Partner and becoming a single parent. 
I understand that stress. I’m alone… no backup options. For surgeries, I’ve taken taxis to the hospital… then had to stay an extra night because hospitals don’t allow patients to leave by taxi. If have a key tag that says “my pets are home alone”. I don’t know what will happen if I get ill… I don’t have anyone to help.
Sending you strength!
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It’s such a tough position.
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I gave neighbors a set of house keys when I went away (vacation, I think). When I returned, they brought them back to me. I asked if they’d keep them… for emergencies… and they said, “We’d rather not.” Who does that??? It was kinda the final straw on me asking people for basic support.
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We use to do that but the neighbours are housebound and elderly now.
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Too many of us are in that position Gary. We are too. So so flimsy. Living on anknife’s edge. Trouble is, not many people realise that there ARE people like this around. I am glad you are both ok, and that son is recovering. But these thoughts are sobering ones Gary. For me, our own personal position is what leads to much of my fear and depression. Keep going. It’s hard, I know. But you have abgreatcson and are doing a great job. Much love and hugs from here in North Lincolnshire xx
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That’s the problem. Too many assume that support is there but the cuts have shredded any government support. The government say it should fall on family, friends and the bank account. x
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People assume that we all have families. Or that our partners are ok. They just never realise that some are both disabled and sick, and how scary that is. Xx
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They don’t. It’s so shortsighted. x
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Sobering and scary!
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It is
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It’s not that far from my house to Yorkshire Gary. Couple of hrs and you’d have a back up plan! You aren’t alone my friend 😊
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Thank you
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It is really difficult right now re hospitals. A heart sinker in fact. So glad you are home now both of you.
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Thank you. Hope it’s a nice weekend for you.
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It must have been a very stressful time. I guess you can have a neighbor do it for you if the need ever arose again, which I hope never does.
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Neighbours are too old, house bound and isolating.
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Oh, that’s a bummer. A tight situation for you my friend, but I hope you’ll never be put in this spot again.
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Got to find better options
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I agree!
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🙏
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When we were on the boat, we had a back up plan for Maggie with MSM. We kept a Go Bag containing basic meds, toiletries and a change of clothes in the cupboard. Here it’s under the bed, but we have no back up for Maggie. OK, she’s our dog, not a child, but we have to take her and leave her in the car. Most times, the one who is not in the hospital can stay with her. Our neighbour helped us out when Hubby had his assessment last year as it was too hot to leave her and I had to go in with him. She did not settle, unnerved our neighbour who couldn’t ‘read’ her like we do, so she called for back up with another neighbour in the next road who has a dog, and they took her for a walk. We won’t do it again because it wasn’t fair on anybody and it’s just the way it is, but it was a wake up call.
I am glad your son is home, and that is one impressive hedge.
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It’s an unsettling feeling. Suspect more are going to find themselves in this position.
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Maybe it’s time for all the unsupported people to form some kind of loose support group… a “just in case” group of closest blog Buddies. People you’d be comfortable with.
I realize how fortunate I am to have both of my daughters, and many of their friends. And in a DIRE emergency… my mother.
If I wants thousands of miles away, I’d take care of the Cap’n for ya😉
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Yes that would help people. x
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Me too! I wish we were closer so I could help out. That situation is very sobering, however. I am glad it all worked out!
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That would be so nice. It is sobering and effects so many. Especially those families with special kids.
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I’ve had the same thought. When I came back to NY I intended living alone (with 13 cats) but in the end my helper and co-cat slave came too. It has made life so much less stressful as I would also have had 0 options. One needs to be able to ask for help, but I have never been able to. How do we go about setting Gary up with a plan B that would be acceptable? Wish I could help but there is a rather large body of water betwixt here and there. How is your Son?
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Going to work on that one. He’s sore but ok.
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Now you know that you need a plan to be better prepared for such an event occurring again in the future. I faced similar situations during the years I raised my sons alone in a foreign country. In such times of need, I found that neighbors and friends can be very supportive. Glad to learn that it ended well for you both.
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Yes it was a wake up call
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“Operate with the most fragile foundations” — very well expressed. There are far too many of us are in the same boat. Falling through the cracks. The system is failing us. Glad your son is okay.
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Very sobering!!
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It is
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Time to get on the Google. See if there are local groups that might be able to help you out, in the future? It’s why I’m getting my licence now. I didn’t really need one before. But the last couple of years, with so many people and furbabies suddenly getting sick. I feel like I need to now.
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Yes going to have to sort something out.
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