It’s been far too long since I’ve inflicted some terrible poetry on you. Just like my baking and my terrible Yorkshire jokes – YOU KNOW YOU LOVE IT 💓. So here goes then, but wait….. the last time I did one of these, it was pointed out that I couldn’t write these without having a go at the Government. As we know having a pop at The Government can be fun. But it can also be just a little grinding. So this is a politics lite poem (honest, well I might have accidentally slipped in one subliminal message, can you spot it…..). Remember I’m not very good at this sort of thing. If you want brilliant poetry then look away and certainly look at the wonderful sites out there. I follow so many and they never fail to take my breath away with how good their work is. These are brilliant sites for a starter.

Tina (Pippi’s Poetry)

Sadje (lifeafter50forwomen)

TanGental

Opher’s World

Ruth’s Scribbles

Blindzanygirl

So here goes let’s make it terrible…….

Basking in a garden full of weeds

One which requires no expensive seeds

Requiring absolutely no tiring weeding

It’s good on the knees with 100% chance of succeeding

Such a source of endless colours

Just perfect for my crappy watercolours

Oh I hear you shout, I didn’t know you could paint

He is that good I could be paintings patron saint

Should see the mess I made of son’s bedroom wall

One would think I did it after a hefty pub crawl

No painting is not my thing, weeds are what I excel in

It’s as natural to me as having a hairy double chin

So why don’t you venture with me into my overgrown garden

A special place which is great at capturing that pesky carbon

Please bring your own cakes as mine might make you unwell

Really bring your own as my cakes are as hard as a bombshell

And we can have a drink you can comfortably settle

Then watch me get stung by that pesky little nettle

****** as pointed out I can’t spell Johnson – makes it even more terrible and clearly indicates my inability to write English.

74 thoughts on “It’s been too long without some Terrible Poetry”

  2. 😀😀😀 Oh my goodness… just wait till you read my second post today. Our poems end on a similar note. Yup, we are matched socks today. 😀 Nice poem, Superdad. It made me smile and laugh.

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      5. Well, I must say, the people of Orkney and Kinloss have much to be proud of. Short of choosing to visit St Kilda, the not just cherry picked, remote places, the lib dem and tory strongholds of Orkney and Moray were the next safest bet. I don’t know if you have seen the footage…… A fine advertisement for ‘ You should have stayed home.’ Or indeed even his one ‘Stay home, stay safe.’ I don’t think he will haste ye back. And the owner of the Cairn o Mhor distillery deserves hero status for telling that Sarah Smith tit, on the news, that no we weren’t grateful for everything we get from England, (The new gaslighting campaign this.) Why should we be when it’s our money that has been taken down south and actually we pay taxes, like everyone else. Quite epic I’d say.

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      7. Aye well, he’ll no be showing his face here again for a bit. He announced it one day basically., appeared two days later in cherry picked places, that were being kept under wraps, got met by protestors in each of them, made some tory mp who only got a seat with 400 odd votes on the list system up here look a complete tit, cos he said on twitter this morning how his constituency…which never voted him in as such.. ORKNEY was going to show its appreciation of his premiership. And they did. Indeed they did. In every way.

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      9. Well that grating idiocy of his was appealing to some who thought it was something different but are now less than certain or enamoured. Also the opposition across the board down south was a joke. I could have voted had I lived in England. The terrible thing is the majority it got in with,

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      1. I figured was not term of endearment lol

        Ahh I see – you really do not like him … kinda the same way I maybe view Trump? (sorry to Trump supporters – and I don’t particularly want Biden either… but I am sooo tired of political bullshit) ✌️… and no I don’t want Kanye West either!! 🤨

        Let see how else to make the United States look incompetent – anyone else?

        So I feel your pain. ✌️

        Cool way to do your poem!! Like that you snuck that in there

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  17. As bad as your poetry is (and make no mistake, it IS bad), I prefer it to ‘brilliant’ poetry that I cannot understand, for at least I can understand yours (yes, I got the political reference, and yes, you left out the ‘N’), whereas brilliant poets seem to feel a need to sneak in hidden messages, and I am a literalist who expects people to say precisely what they mean. So, you win the prize for bad poetry … keep up the bad work!

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  18. A delightful post modern rendering of the cluttered mind genre of the multiple stanza sonnetized form of rhyming verse as pioneered by the peripatetic Yorkshire poet Rue Bard the Red. Lovely.
    Thank you for the quite delightful shout out

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