Clearly the blueberry has given up on this Yorkshire Summer and just assumed it’s autumn already.

MONEY. Not listened to that Pink Floyd song in ages.

Get a good job with good pay and you’re okay….

That’s how the song goes. It’s funny that I love Floyd but this is the only song of theirs that I don’t like. The sound of the cash till just annoys me. It’s kinda nice that when I finally got to see them live, I can remember the concert so well yet I can’t remember them playing this song. It’s so good when the mind works like that.

MONEY. Before the world changed in 2016 we were doing alright. Finding a way to maintain two quite well paid jobs while making sure one of us was always there for Hawklad. It wasn’t easy and took a shed load of planning, but we found a way. We had a nice house, two cars (our jobs headed in different directions) and we could afford a trip to Switzerland every year. We tried to save for the future so we didn’t buy much. But it was a comfortable life and we could certainly pay the bills.

Then the world suddenly changed. I’ve just realised how lame that phrase sounds. Took me long enough. Seismic Rupture might be better. Need to think about that…

MONEY. The last thing you should be thinking about after a bereavement is money. But far too often MONEY quickly looms over you when you are at your lowest ebb. Bills still have to be paid. Food has to be bought. The government wants its pound of flesh, death brings the delights of Inheritance Tax. Two incomes suddenly became one. Even that one….. Single parenting, Single Aspergers parenting, Single parenting to a 9 year old who has just lost his mum. My job became impossible to maintain. Suddenly I was scrambling for a part time job which worked round Hawklad. MONEY became a very scarce commodity. Trying to get my head properly round these scary things is the last thing I needed when my world had just been shaken to the ground. Trying to look at a shrinking bank statement is bloody hard when it’s done through crying eyes.

That’s how it’s been with MONEY ever since 2016. I was so lucky to find a job which was flexible enough to fit round the single parenting gig. But I was still trying to pay the bills. Working out which repair jobs would have to be kicked into the future – which is most of them. Only trying to spend on the absolutely essential stuff. Funny thing is how often schooling costs suck up any spare cash. Holidays are just not happening – the last one was back in 2015. When we do have to buy items the first point of call is always the previously enjoyed or damaged sections. Our one extravagance, concerts, are always in the much cheaper – restricted view areas. We never turn down hand me downs. I’m currently looking at an exercise bike which was surplus to someone’s requirements and is held together with copious amounts of electricians tape.

MONEY. How needs it. With hindsight it’s clear that we are so lucky. So many are in a much worse position than we are. I’ve found a job that kinda fits our lifestyle. We have a nice house and garden. Live in a lovely area. Friends are wonderful. Financially it’s challenging but we are just about stable. Money helps but it doesn’t buy you happiness. Thinking of Hawklad, memories and friends – money doesn’t buy you those things.

78 thoughts on “Money, money, money”

  4. You should be proud of the man and father you are. You always put your child first. Many don’t. And you’re right… money is not everything and it can’t buy you the most important things. Keep your spirit high and your love strong and you’ll be okay. 🙂

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  5. Money is important for a comfortable life. But if you can stretch it to make do, you are okay. You’ve been given good advice, write a book like Mel and maybe you’ll earn lots. 🤞

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  7. I know we’ll always do what MUST be done, but I admire you. I was on auto-pilot the first week or so after losing my husband and could barely take care of ME. Blessings to you and Hawklad.

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  8. I Love Pink Floyd, and used to like that Money song- it sounded so crystal clear on the CD (my 1st CD ever was The Wall) compared to cassette (?!).

    But anyway, money- I am right there with you, trying to be thankful for what I have, and resenting how hard it is, and I have a partner now, so should be easier. But I did a lot of damage to my finances when alone with the kids trying to hold it together. And I feel badly for feeling badly, bc so many have it worse than me. So hard to keep it all straight, these emotions over money!

    Great blog topic.

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  13. Stressing about money makes happiness difficult.
    We do okay, even with my fixed Disability income (which is below minimum wage). Daughter makes good money & she gets extra from the government for Ben.
    Money can’t buy happiness, true… but wondering how you’re gonna pay your bills will make you miserable.

    I’m not wealthy but I give wherever and whenever I can… especially to friends. Let me know if I can help. I mean that!💌💌

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  15. Love the way you write; a bit of catharsis mixed with musings. You are so right. Money has it’s own benefits and provides a hell lot of flexibility but just like so many other things, it’s not everything. I live in India and i can, for sure, tell you that there are so many others who are living in an even more difficult situation than you are.
    Have already begun to admire you for the way you are coping up with all the challenges that life has been throwing at you. Look forward to reading more of your posts. Cheers!

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  18. Money is my least favorite song my Floyd too. That cash till is annoying. I agree with you. Money can’t buy the important things. We are a paycheck to paycheck family with nothing saved (which scares the bejesus out of me). I know that if I got a job we could get some things fixed around here, and lo and behold maybe even get some nicer things – but the cost would be putting Declan with a babysitter and who knows what trouble the older two would get into. And Bob would also rather have an experience instead of something nice, which I agree. The memories last a lifetime and are well worth it.

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    1. It’s the same with me. If I went back to my profession it would need some form of minder plus it would really mess son up. Not prepared to do that. We should have a competition one day, what things have we got on the ‘to be fixed list’. I might include me on that list as well. The savings but worries me. Hope everything is good for you x

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  19. Absolutely true. Money does not make you happy. Still, it’s a necessity. I’ve often thought how very difficult it must have been for you Gary, dealing with all the practical matters when your heart was in so many pieces. It is a very hard road but you walked it and you write so well about it, never moaning or bewailing your situation. You inspire. Bless you.

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  20. Good post and very true. Money cannot buy you happiness, only let you live in misery in style. Someone I know was so busy making money to provide the things for his family that he had gone without that it cost him his marriage as he was never home.
    Money isn’t everything, but we need it, and TPTB have no idea of its true value when they are talking in billions and trillions as if it is just pennies, and so much of wasted.
    We are lucky, and have enough. Sometimes it would be nice to have a little more, but I’d only squirrel it away. We have each other, friends and wonderful memories. They are priceless.

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  22. This is why I lean heavily toward socialism … nobody should have to worry about whether they can eat tomorrow or pay the rent, while others are luxuriating on private yachts. Hang in … you’ve got the most important things right there under your roof. Hugs.

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    1. Me as well. But we need a new politics. Both systems have failed and represent an age which has gone. It’s a new world, so we need a sustainable approach which cares for the planet, cares for its citizens but also tapers rising expectations when they are not matched with paying for the effects of those expectations. I so know you get that.

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