Who are you looking at

I’ve always felt like the black sheep in the family. The odd one out amongst my siblings. The youngest by a decade. My brother and sisters had partied together and flown the nest while I was still at school. The tallest. The only shy one. The only one with a stammer as a kid. The only one who went to college and university. The only one you got letters after his name (M.U.P.P.E.T). The only one who never got married (huge mistake). The only bereaved one. The only single parent. The only blogger. The only vegetarian. The only one who has given up alcohol. The only one who is gluten free. The only runner. The only climber. The only one learning a second language. The only one who has visited mums grave. The only Asperger Parent. The only Newcastle United supporter. The only one without a middle name. The only one whose first name doesn’t start with a P. The only one how formed a close link with a Quaker family. The only religious one.

I could go on. Hopefully you get the picture.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my brother and sisters. We are close. Close but we don’t see each other much. Mum was always the centre. The gravitational pull that kept the various differing orbits from spinning away. I will see one sister every few months. Another one maybe a couple of times a year. Brother and the other sister maybe once in several years. An occasional phone call or text maintain a link. But since mum left we are slowly spinning apart.

So yes I do feel a little bit like the odd one out. That’s where friends come in. They get me. They make me feel not different. They make me feel whole again. Thank you ❤️

I will leave the final words to my departed partner. We were spending a night in London before we caught the first train to France. Off on our first holiday together. That was back in 2000. We were in a quiet but very full pub in Kings Cross. After a large lager my partner asked about my dieting life choice. In a voice which echoed round the pub. “Are you the only VEGETABLE in your family…”

Yes I probably am….

88 thoughts on “Different”

  1. Sometimes I feel as if I don’t fit too, but unlike you, I am not close to two of my three siblings.
    I certainly have nothing in common with my sister, nor my eldest brother, which is probably why Bro and I are closest, even though we’re the furthest apart.
    He was always there for me growing up, and he was there to pick up the pieces and help me start again when the shit hit the fan and the relationship in Bath came to an end.
    With Mum no longer here, there is no need for me to visit my home town, and Sis won’t contact me anyway. OB only rings when he wants to know something about her, which I find hysterically funny, as if I’d know!! We are unique in ourselves and that I can live with.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

      1. I’ll never know why my sister feels the way she does about me, but I’ve grown tired fretting about it as it’s her demons, not mine. I like the person I am and pride myself on WYSIWYG.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. There is nothing wrong with being unique, but I understand it can be lonely. Keep being YOU though for its really the only person you can be! Simple logic from Dr.Seuss. 🙂 Also I am the only one gluten free in my family and my son and husband are the only vegetarians in our family. On the other hand my daughter’s favorite food is chicken wings. Cooking does get interesting in our family!

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

      1. Fortunately it hasn’t been too bad here. They haven’t had as much selection but at least they havs still had things. Bread was hard to get in the beginning. Hope it gets better for you.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I am also the black sheep. I grew used to it quickly, left home at 18, and never looked back. The only reason I know what is happening with my brother is from what my mom tells me. I can imagine we will have a similar problem as time marches on in the way that it does.

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply

  8. When I attended a woman’s retreat last fall, one of the workshops was learning the impact of birth order. It was eye-opening. Learning (or unlearning) our family dynamic brings a certain freedom in our outlook toward life.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  10. I can relate to this so much. I agree with SADJE. Unique… not odd one out. In Scripture it would be said that you are set apart. It’s not easy being set apart, but God does find ways of making it a blessing. However would those “odd” socks become matching socks. 😀

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  14. My younger sister, my only sibling, used to say to me “You can choose your friends, you can’t choose your family.” She did not mean it kindly. I try to call her about once a year. I probably haven’t seen her in fifteen years.
    It’s a blessing that you have friends who appreciate you for just who you are. And the best family of all in your son.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  15. You certainly sound like the odd man out in your family. Nothing wrong with that. I was a vegetarian for a long time too. I eat a bit of meat now as I wanted my boys to eat meat and be kids that joined in. It didn’t work out like that, but I did try [smile].

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

  16. You know black sheep are the best. They don’t go with the flock, they do their thing their way and they should feel really proud and hold their heads up, because they will always find their way. Believe it.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

      1. As for the vegetable bit… Hope this gives you a laugh. The first time we were on Tilos, we thought we would do the island tour—something we generally would not be seen in our coffins doing. But it was a big island with a very small population and lots of fascinating bits to it. So anyway eventually at lunch time we hails ip at this …words actually fail me taverna in the middle of nowhere …where I have to say the food was the best I have ever tasted and after a few glasses of restina, the po-fatchied brigade had taken their fingers out their behinds. Anyway as we piled off the bus looking shocked, the owner rushed out He had very little English but had plainly been told that UK people can be vegetarians–a concept they didn’t really get– so assure them. ‘Welcome, welcome,” he went, “I have this and that OH. AND what is more I have fresh vegetarians. I grow them myself in my garden.’ I turned to the Mr and said, ‘ I am having the meat.’

        Liked by 1 person

      3. It was more than aa garden… He would drive into Livadia every lunchtime and sell all his produce from a beat up old van. Never saw any fresh vegetarians though. I thought that story might make you smile The swop round in both stories, yours and this one is apt.

        Liked by 1 person

  17. I had a great laugh at the ending…so what kind of vegetable are you? I love vegetables btw 🙂

    I think we all feel that way in one sense or another. The “odd one out” or maybe just odd. You are so very special, funny, and multi-talented. I cannot see you as a “black sheep”, that is a label nobody deserves. I am glad you take comfort in friends.

    Hubby and I have both experienced the loss of our mothers and it makes a huge difference to family dynamics. Mothers, for the most part, do seem to be the glue that holds families together.

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply

  18. My mother lives ONE MILE away from me. I havent seen her in a year. We text about once a week. The last time I texted with my Younger Brother, he wanted my address and to use me as a reference for a job. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I have my girls and Ben. And I have all my wonderful Blogging Buddies! I don’t need more. We are all uniquely shaped pieces that fit together quite nicely!

    What kind of vegetable are you? Carrot? Broccoli? Peas? Peppers?

    It always makes me pause when people get like personally offended by vegetarians or vegans. Younger has been vegetarian since age 12 and my ex (meat & potatoes, no veg) got SO mad. I never could understand why…

    🎼🎶 We are family… I got all my bloggers with me!💃🏼🎶😆💌

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  21. Thanks for the 😄. I needed it. I was the mistake, often told, as my brother is 7 years older than me. Dad loaned my brother money that he never got back. Dad stole money from his hard working studious dyslexia daughter. I was the 9 year old that had to take care of the family when Mum went to bed for 2 years with a nervous breakdown, and that was just the beginning……..

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  22. I am the oldest, the funniest lol (sorry but yes) – I am the glue.

    My brother is younger by 5 years – we are close … in heart but he is in Texas.

    My sister is 9 years younger – we are also very close (but she is in Maine)

    We are scattered.

    Me and my sister together is weird because we have same mannerisms and movements lol… I am optimistic – she is pessimistic lol … I am outgoing, she is definitely not lol … I am freckly with reddish hair and light eyes- she is tan, barely any freckles (I got them all! 🤨) and she has brown eyes… we look similar just also different – when we smile we look same lol – our voices and laughs are the same

    I love the differences – and when we come together – is nothing but love ❤️ … except those 2 – they fight even now… always they fight!!! Lol whatever

    I love them very very much!!! Differences and all!!! Miss them dearly!! 😔

    We are all completely different… each one. My brother is a stiff lol … but I am oldest sister and I am funny – I can make him laugh still and he also lets me pull the big sister card – I am also the only one he allows to tease him… cause I am a teaser lol … I just remind him about his period of Ocean Pacific shorts and cowboy boots when he was 4 😄😄😄 things like that lol

    I am the cool one – or was before I got old lol ✌️😄

    He has traveled the world, and is obsessed with Ireland lol 🙄😄

    My friends are like my family because I can’t actually have my family at all currently… but even normally… what is left of my family is not near me😔

    So I created a family of friends ❤️

    But even there – I collect a circus array of different types so I can have many varieties and learn many things and I love that!!

    They do “get” you! And it is family… family is what you make it ❤️

    Different is amazing ❤️ I love different!!!!

    Like

    Reply

      1. I talk to them all the time by text or phone – my sister-in-law is a BIG FaceTime’er 🤨😝😝😝… she makes me FaceTime – I hate it lol … but I get to see them ❤️

        It’s been about 2 or 3 years since I’ve seen my brother – and maybe 5 or 6 since I’ve seen my sister 😔💔

        Cheaper to go to Texas than Maine from California

        I don’t always get back East. 😔 but we are used to it… it’s how we grew up with other family too.

        This country is BIG!!

        Yours is pretty big too though – isn’t it?

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Usually everyone here just uses the roads – except commuters, SOME will use trains… people will live in Sacramento, but work in San Francisco…

        Cheaper to live in Sacramento – but you make WAY more money in the Bay Area. It’s just a 2+ hour crappy horrible commute – no way would I do THAT commute!!! Some drive that, some take the train 🚊

        Is not the roads – but the traffic!! Oh my god!

        Also – I once wanted to go back east and use the Amtrak train – how cool would that be across the United States??!!! That would be soooo cool!!!

        But 2 things deterred me from that… first the price – are you fricken kidding? It was crazy expensive to do that… and then takes like forever!! And you only have so much vacation time lol – I still have to see family

        So whatever – we always fly. Takes 2 planes ✈️… going to Logan airport in Boston or the airport in Manchester, NH… going there takes about 6 or 7 hours and you are going WITH the winds…

        Coming back to California it takes even longer cause you are going against the winds 🤨

        That flight back East always kills me lol

        Texas is fast boom there lol … no big productions lol

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Your flight to me would be LONG… cause you would have to stop on the east coast probably? And then come another 6 or 7 hours to me. So like 12/14 hours?

        You would be massive jet lagged lol …but that’s ok first day you come – you sleep!

        Liked by 1 person

  23. As the eldest of five I have often marvelled at how different we all are. I was 18 when the youngest was born. Until he was about seven I and my wife took him everywhere with us, but now we hardly see each other – although our Mum still provides the cement.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  24. Are you a vegetarian? I am the youngest of the daughters and the shortest one, lol! I have three older sisters and a younger brother. But always felt the odd one myself. They still think they have to take care of me🙄 beautiful but frustrating . I live who you are. Be happy of who you are.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

Leave a comment