We all have a story to tell. Every persons story is just as precious and important as the next. Our life’s are filled with good and bad times. A rollercoaster of emotions. Filled with memories. Some bring smiles, others bring tears.

2016, it’s August. A week before I had been to my mums funeral. My partner had not been well but currently no reason to be truly worried. A Wednesday afternoon and we drove her to the Hospital for an overnight stay and some routine tests. I can see her walking across the lawn to the car. We talked in the car. Can’t remember what about. Just general stuff I guess. After she is settled on the ward we are asked to leave so the medics could start the tests. Told to come back tomorrow to visit, maybe even to pick her up. It’s now Thursday lunchtime and I’ve returned to the ward. The Doctor pulls me to one side. A sudden collapse in her condition. I sit in stunned silence. Tests results are shocking and grave. The prognosis horrific. 95% chance that she will be dead within a couple of weeks. Zero chance of making Christmas. She is in and out of consciousness. It’s extremely likely that she is not aware anymore. If family need to say goodbyes then you need to do it really quickly. Driving from the hospital like a zombie – how do I explain this to our 8 year son. She never regained consciousness and died in a hospice a few weeks later. We never did have a conversation again. The last time we talked was in the car and I can’t remember what it was about.

That’s one of my stories. It’s not easy to tell even now. I can feel the darkness starting to sweep over me. But there are other stories. Stories which bring light and are easier to tell.

Holding our son for the first time after the birth. Looking into his eyes and thinking I’M A DAD. Then thinking he’s very small – don’t drop him. Then one overriding thought. How can something so small be so pigging LOUD.

Sat on a scary rollercoaster with Hawklad as we slowly pick up speed. Hearing his must reassuring words echo along the suddenly panic filled seats – “Dad I’ve just spotted two missing nuts and one support joint without any bolts.”

Sat watching a 4 year old Hawklad in Switzerland. He runs up to a man trying to do some post run stretches. He then spends 5 minutes excitedly telling this man all about Dr Who and The Tardis. Speaking to the man later to apologise we found out that the man had never heard of Dr Who and didn’t speak a word of English. What a poor confused person he must have been.

So we all have stories. Some bad and some good. That’s life for you. They add together to make up who we are. Actually taking the time to listen will open your eyes to another person. If you are fortunate you might even hear some back stories. Gain an understanding of who that person really is. What makes them tick. Without that understanding it’s not wise to jump to assumptions. Without those back stories you really don’t know anything about that person.

87 thoughts on “Story to tell – two”

  2. I am so sorry for your loss. There is never an easy way but some stories are so heart wrenching. I am so glad you and your son have each other. He sounds pretty amazing despite his challenges – maybe because of them? This younger generation sure go through a lot in their youth.

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  10. Gary I never realised your wife’s death was so shocking and sudden.. that is very hard as it gave you no time at all to prepare and would have been so devastating for both you and your son….. this makes sense of so much and its so good that you got to share this painful moment with everyone who follows and loves your blog as well as some of those other moment of wonder…. so many different memories, as we age more and more and more…

    Its so important not to die with our stories all locked up inside… sending you and your son lots of love and positive vibes… you have endured so much.. ❤

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  12. It must still be hard to write about this. But what comes through is the overwhelming love for your partner and son. Thank you for sharing these memories. Your stories are always worth listening to.

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  15. They are what makes you what you are. I don’t know you managed through that time. But here you are hammered but still walking because you know there will be other stories still to come and may they be the best.

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  17. And so often we do make assumptions. It’s one of the reasons I think we need to slow everything down, make life simpler again so that people have time to actually think about what they are doing and assuming! I worked at airports where there were two basic assumptions: the passengers were mean and the staff were stupid. But who had time to re-consider?

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  18. She never regained consciousness and died in a hospice a few weeks later. <–Nick made me promise that he would not go in a hospital or rehab/nursing home. He was at home. In our living room under the huge window. Sometimes I stand where the bed was and just remember. One day it won't be so painful.

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  19. Thank you for your courage and vulnerability in sharing your story. 🙏 You’ve watered the seed of compassion within me (and many others, I see). Now we can pass that compassion along. I also love the juxtaposition of the two stories. Bravo! 😁

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  20. I’m so sorry, I missed this post and have had a frantic day today. The first story makes my heart ache and I wish I could do more to take that pain away. I guess no one can do that, they can just be there to help you through times when the darkness starts to come. Hawklad’s comments make me smile through the tears though. I hope you have many more lovely, fun and joyful stories to tell. X

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  21. Those back stories make all the difference. There was a time I couldn’t tell my story without breaking down in tears. Those days are gone, but the loss remains tucked away close to my heart. We become stronger and more caring individuals. I wish that for you and your son ❤

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  22. You show it very well that everybody has a story to tell… at least one. But also there are those unexpected twists and turns, some more impacting than others and some totally life-changing. Thank you for sharing your story and make us more sensitive and tolerant. But most of all you are giving us lessons to simply not judge.

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      3. Oh, you are right! This is really something essential in the way of living an authentic life in which we are not burdening ourselves with artificial problems. Not-judging has not only a positive effect on the other person, but on both. Because truly understanding that everybody has their histories and is entitled to have it, gives the permission to stop hiding your own. No oppressing anymore.

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  23. I am so sorry for your loss Gary. So traumatic, sudden and unexpected.
    Love the way you switch to happier memories, holding your son, worry for him being so small, and wonder at him being so loud. So true to life. The heartache and the joy.

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  26. Wow!! That hit my heart… that is very heartbreaking – I don’t mean to make you cry, but I am so sorry 💔

    Is so hard for the ones left behind. And in your case so young!!!

    The mind is a complex thing… you could remember one day ? And you may not. That must have been a huge blur happening so fast like that and no one expects something like that!!! And you had just lost your mother… talk about traumatizing! I’m sorry you went through that and go through that – you pretty strong – That’s impressive and look how much you do for your little boy… you still have a piece of her ❤️

    I like that you can remember and share the good ones too ❤️ those are funny!

    Oh my god! On the missing bolts 😳😮😮😮😄😄😄 that is hilarious!! That would have been totally priceless if he said it exactly when those theme park rollercoaster 🎢 photos are snapped lol … hahaha I can just imagine everyone’s face 😄😄 that’s awesome!!!

    I know who Dr Who is… in terms of heard people mention before – but never seen – I would have no idea either lol that’s funny … I do speak English though 😄😄 sometimes you say stuff I don’t know lol… and we both speak English lol

    Funny stories – life is iOS and downs / you have good and amazing… and then there is sad and bad… there is nothing wrong with being sad or having bad. It happens to everyone. And it’s ok. But always make sure you do mix a little bit of happy memories in there … happy times – things that make or made you happy- balance – it’s a balancing act.

    You do good, I know it’s hard, but you do a good job and quite impressively. ✌️

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      1. Yup absolutely … and the funny and sweet memories are good to have too.

        You are still here and you still have an amazing life to live!! Do not take that for granted!! The world is a wonder ❤️ you just have to remember to be open to it

        When I was younger (in my 20’s) – I lost 2 people I loved very much… one to a car accident and the other to suicide… when I was at their burials (at different times) I remember standing there and the sun was shining and there was a slight wind – the day had never looked so beautiful but sad at same time… I remember the wind blowing my hair and the sun on my face – they would never feel that again… but I have the ability to still feel that. Life goes all too quick – soak it in while you can!!!

        Absolutely you gonna make new ones!!

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      3. Well life has death… so you have to kinda find a way to accept that part. Not easy

        I was the worst trying to process death… is only really now I can process better. I don’t like it 🤨 cause I wanna keep forever if I love …

        But as with anything in life… jobs – there is always another on the horizon… kids – they grow up… even your own thoughts change over time with growth…

        So death is just a part of life. Just sucks for those of us left to handle the pieces of broken hearts.

        Is harder when is loss of a person… cause so final. But also are blessed to have been in their life – they left marks that will never fade ❤️ you keep part of them always so that’s kind of a blessing / you got to have them while you did. They made impression

        But yeah, life goes on ✌️

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