We all have a story to tell. Every persons story is just as precious and important as the next. Our life’s are filled with good and bad times. A rollercoaster of emotions. Filled with memories. Some bring smiles, others bring tears.
2016, it’s August. A week before I had been to my mums funeral. My partner had not been well but currently no reason to be truly worried. A Wednesday afternoon and we drove her to the Hospital for an overnight stay and some routine tests. I can see her walking across the lawn to the car. We talked in the car. Can’t remember what about. Just general stuff I guess. After she is settled on the ward we are asked to leave so the medics could start the tests. Told to come back tomorrow to visit, maybe even to pick her up. It’s now Thursday lunchtime and I’ve returned to the ward. The Doctor pulls me to one side. A sudden collapse in her condition. I sit in stunned silence. Tests results are shocking and grave. The prognosis horrific. 95% chance that she will be dead within a couple of weeks. Zero chance of making Christmas. She is in and out of consciousness. It’s extremely likely that she is not aware anymore. If family need to say goodbyes then you need to do it really quickly. Driving from the hospital like a zombie – how do I explain this to our 8 year son. She never regained consciousness and died in a hospice a few weeks later. We never did have a conversation again. The last time we talked was in the car and I can’t remember what it was about.
That’s one of my stories. It’s not easy to tell even now. I can feel the darkness starting to sweep over me. But there are other stories. Stories which bring light and are easier to tell.
Holding our son for the first time after the birth. Looking into his eyes and thinking I’M A DAD. Then thinking he’s very small – don’t drop him. Then one overriding thought. How can something so small be so pigging LOUD.
Sat on a scary rollercoaster with Hawklad as we slowly pick up speed. Hearing his must reassuring words echo along the suddenly panic filled seats – “Dad I’ve just spotted two missing nuts and one support joint without any bolts.”
Sat watching a 4 year old Hawklad in Switzerland. He runs up to a man trying to do some post run stretches. He then spends 5 minutes excitedly telling this man all about Dr Who and The Tardis. Speaking to the man later to apologise we found out that the man had never heard of Dr Who and didn’t speak a word of English. What a poor confused person he must have been.
So we all have stories. Some bad and some good. That’s life for you. They add together to make up who we are. Actually taking the time to listen will open your eyes to another person. If you are fortunate you might even hear some back stories. Gain an understanding of who that person really is. What makes them tick. Without that understanding it’s not wise to jump to assumptions. Without those back stories you really don’t know anything about that person.
Wow… this one got me teary. You’re so right about assumptions, Superdad. Well said… amazingly written.
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Thank you Tina. That means so much to me. 🙏😊
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I am so sorry for your loss. There is never an easy way but some stories are so heart wrenching. I am so glad you and your son have each other. He sounds pretty amazing despite his challenges – maybe because of them? This younger generation sure go through a lot in their youth.
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Thank you
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Thank you for baring your soul to us. I am so sad 😞 that it happened so quickly. Not fair to you or your son. My heart ❤ goes out to you.
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Thank you my friend
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Always here.
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Thank you
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😊
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😀
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Such a good writer.
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That’s so very kind of you
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Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:
GOOD TO REMEMBER THEM. THE STORIES AND OUR LOVED ONES!
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Thank you
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YOU’RE WELCOME!
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Back stories matter! ((Hugs))
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They really do x
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This is so touching Gary. Thanks for sharing
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Thank you for taking the time to read it. x
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Always a pleasure my friend
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🙏
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This is both tragic and profound. What a terrible shock, I’m so sorry you both experienced this.
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Thank you 🙏
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You made me cry, and then you made me smile. This is amazing! So well written and such an important message.
You’re absolutely right, we ALL have stories to tell. Thank you for sharing your story and yourself!💌💌
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Hope your having a great day. xx
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Pretty good so far, but it’s only 10:25am… 🤷🏼♀️ 😂💌
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It’s a start. x
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Gary I never realised your wife’s death was so shocking and sudden.. that is very hard as it gave you no time at all to prepare and would have been so devastating for both you and your son….. this makes sense of so much and its so good that you got to share this painful moment with everyone who follows and loves your blog as well as some of those other moment of wonder…. so many different memories, as we age more and more and more…
Its so important not to die with our stories all locked up inside… sending you and your son lots of love and positive vibes… you have endured so much.. ❤
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Yes it was sudden. Maybe that was better that a slower, lingering one – don’t know. But yes I do feel amongst friends. x
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It’s no asier really both are
tough..❤
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🙏❤️
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So very true!! Assuming something is never good. Reminds me of a quote that says. “Don’t judge me based on the chapter you walked in on. ” Always so much more to their story.
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That’s such a good quote x
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😊
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🙏
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It must still be hard to write about this. But what comes through is the overwhelming love for your partner and son. Thank you for sharing these memories. Your stories are always worth listening to.
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Thank you so much
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I’m sorry for your loss. This one made me tear up a bit. Such a heartfelt post.
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First of all … the photo is stunning! And thank you for sharing your stories with us. So sad but also filled with hope.
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Thank you
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They are what makes you what you are. I don’t know you managed through that time. But here you are hammered but still walking because you know there will be other stories still to come and may they be the best.
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That’s the hope, maybe just maybe that life defining happy masterpiece is still to be told. x
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You know, if there is one thing above all else life has taught me, it is that we do not know the moments that are still to come.
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Let’s just hope they are good ones. x
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I guess it is about not knowing the unknown
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That’s true.
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Wonderful post. The back story is spot on.
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Thank you
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And so often we do make assumptions. It’s one of the reasons I think we need to slow everything down, make life simpler again so that people have time to actually think about what they are doing and assuming! I worked at airports where there were two basic assumptions: the passengers were mean and the staff were stupid. But who had time to re-consider?
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Sometimes time is a commodity in short supply.
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She never regained consciousness and died in a hospice a few weeks later. <–Nick made me promise that he would not go in a hospital or rehab/nursing home. He was at home. In our living room under the huge window. Sometimes I stand where the bed was and just remember. One day it won't be so painful.
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Thank you for your courage and vulnerability in sharing your story. 🙏 You’ve watered the seed of compassion within me (and many others, I see). Now we can pass that compassion along. I also love the juxtaposition of the two stories. Bravo! 😁
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Thank you
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I’m so sorry, I missed this post and have had a frantic day today. The first story makes my heart ache and I wish I could do more to take that pain away. I guess no one can do that, they can just be there to help you through times when the darkness starts to come. Hawklad’s comments make me smile through the tears though. I hope you have many more lovely, fun and joyful stories to tell. X
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Thank you. That’s the hope. New stories to tell. x
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Absolutely and you will have them for sure x
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That’s the hope x
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Those back stories make all the difference. There was a time I couldn’t tell my story without breaking down in tears. Those days are gone, but the loss remains tucked away close to my heart. We become stronger and more caring individuals. I wish that for you and your son ❤
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They do stay close to the heart. x
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You show it very well that everybody has a story to tell… at least one. But also there are those unexpected twists and turns, some more impacting than others and some totally life-changing. Thank you for sharing your story and make us more sensitive and tolerant. But most of all you are giving us lessons to simply not judge.
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That’s the key. We just never know what the other person has been through.
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Right! And even if we think we know, we never know how the other person feels about it. Because the same situation is not experienced the same way…
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That’s exactly right. You describe a similar thing beautifully in your book.
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Oh, you are right! This is really something essential in the way of living an authentic life in which we are not burdening ourselves with artificial problems. Not-judging has not only a positive effect on the other person, but on both. Because truly understanding that everybody has their histories and is entitled to have it, gives the permission to stop hiding your own. No oppressing anymore.
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Absolutely. How more contented will be if we embraced that.
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Absolutely, Gary! It would break the wall of ignorance and open a whole new field to be explored and enjoyed.
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Wouldn’t it just.
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I am so sorry for your loss Gary. So traumatic, sudden and unexpected.
Love the way you switch to happier memories, holding your son, worry for him being so small, and wonder at him being so loud. So true to life. The heartache and the joy.
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Thank you Di. Just got to keep going.
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😀 And you’re doing brilliantly.
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🙏
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This one brought tears. I know your story, and now I know I was right. You are a strong and sensitive lovely man. Do not ever change. 🙏😊
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Thank you x
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💕
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🙏x
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Good stories but did you drop him?
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Unbelievably NO. Well not for a few months….
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Wow!! That hit my heart… that is very heartbreaking – I don’t mean to make you cry, but I am so sorry 💔
Is so hard for the ones left behind. And in your case so young!!!
The mind is a complex thing… you could remember one day ? And you may not. That must have been a huge blur happening so fast like that and no one expects something like that!!! And you had just lost your mother… talk about traumatizing! I’m sorry you went through that and go through that – you pretty strong – That’s impressive and look how much you do for your little boy… you still have a piece of her ❤️
I like that you can remember and share the good ones too ❤️ those are funny!
Oh my god! On the missing bolts 😳😮😮😮😄😄😄 that is hilarious!! That would have been totally priceless if he said it exactly when those theme park rollercoaster 🎢 photos are snapped lol … hahaha I can just imagine everyone’s face 😄😄 that’s awesome!!!
I know who Dr Who is… in terms of heard people mention before – but never seen – I would have no idea either lol that’s funny … I do speak English though 😄😄 sometimes you say stuff I don’t know lol… and we both speak English lol
Funny stories – life is iOS and downs / you have good and amazing… and then there is sad and bad… there is nothing wrong with being sad or having bad. It happens to everyone. And it’s ok. But always make sure you do mix a little bit of happy memories in there … happy times – things that make or made you happy- balance – it’s a balancing act.
You do good, I know it’s hard, but you do a good job and quite impressively. ✌️
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That’s so kind of you. I guess the key thing is that I’m still here. Still can tell the stories and maybe make some new ones x
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Yup absolutely … and the funny and sweet memories are good to have too.
You are still here and you still have an amazing life to live!! Do not take that for granted!! The world is a wonder ❤️ you just have to remember to be open to it
When I was younger (in my 20’s) – I lost 2 people I loved very much… one to a car accident and the other to suicide… when I was at their burials (at different times) I remember standing there and the sun was shining and there was a slight wind – the day had never looked so beautiful but sad at same time… I remember the wind blowing my hair and the sun on my face – they would never feel that again… but I have the ability to still feel that. Life goes all too quick – soak it in while you can!!!
Absolutely you gonna make new ones!!
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That’s so right. I get that same feeling. Life does go on. You know that as well as anyone. x
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Well life has death… so you have to kinda find a way to accept that part. Not easy
I was the worst trying to process death… is only really now I can process better. I don’t like it 🤨 cause I wanna keep forever if I love …
But as with anything in life… jobs – there is always another on the horizon… kids – they grow up… even your own thoughts change over time with growth…
So death is just a part of life. Just sucks for those of us left to handle the pieces of broken hearts.
Is harder when is loss of a person… cause so final. But also are blessed to have been in their life – they left marks that will never fade ❤️ you keep part of them always so that’s kind of a blessing / you got to have them while you did. They made impression
But yeah, life goes on ✌️
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Yes that’s the so right. Many people leave this world better than they found it.
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I am so sorry about your partner. She wasn’t sick before she went in for the resorts? (If that is too personal,please forgive me and ignore it)
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She wasn’t well but not unusually unwell.
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That would be horrible.
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🙏x hope your well.
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