The end of August. Still no clearer on the road ahead. Apart from the fact that my knees may develop frostbite if I keep wearing my shorts.

Not having a clear road ahead at the end of August is not a new experience.

August 2019 – trying to get my head around Hawklads granny’s rapidly deteriorating health. Maybe days until I’m asked to make a call on ceasing treatment. What to do. School refusing to move Hawklad up sets and no sign of additional support. What to do.

August 2018 – Almost time to switch schools. New teachers, bigger school, less flexibility, no guarantee of support. The only message – he will be in the bottom set. What to do.

August 2017 – Struggling to get any support for Hawklad. What to do. School is trying but they are so small they don’t have the resources to cope. Much needed services have been cut. My finances are a mess. I’m a mess. What to do.

August 2016 – Partner in a hospice, just waiting now. Effectively I am a single parent now. What will I do. My job that won’t fit my new life. In fact what is my new life. What happened to the old life. What will I do.

So it’s August and here we go again. Is it true homeschooling or my attempt to mirror classroom schooling until he can return. Support at best is sketchy. The pandemic has not only messed up schooling it’s doing its best to mess up my job as well. Will the job be here in a few months? What will I do.

All a bit perplexing but that is August for me. Should be used to it by now. And that is a source of comfort. September will arrive and life keeps moving. The road ahead might still be confusing but it is heading somewhere.

51 thoughts on “End of August

      1. They were beyond hellish actually. That bit at the start where Big Tam wandered round and round the outside with the tray of drinks, the second tray after he dropped the first one?? Well cos of all the restrictions in the Boots which were sad to see actually and the chains across the door etc, after you got in, we said to the girl, the rain has stopped, we will just sit outside. She did kind of give us a what planet are they from look? So we gets outside and there’s black clouds which we should have noticed as we spoke to a French couple when we were out hiking and they had on these fancy nets, in fact a lot of folks did. Cos these clouds were not black rain clouds. When we saw the clouds swarming everywhere we thought, we should go back in but hey, you know how it is re the egg on the faces. So we had midgies instead. We had them the whole weekend. It made me realise that that camper who was in the news the night before we left wasn’t a wuss when he said he couldn’t get out his tent. That went on all weekend. The place had a plague of them. Last week I stopped counting after reaching the grand total of fifty bites on my forehead alone. That did not include the rest of my face, neck, hands, legs, The girls thought I had measles. I looked like oor wee man does when he has Scarlet Fever. They are slowly going now, in time for heading off back there in a few days……

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      2. Well it porb wasn’t helped by my da making a hot toddy as a cure all one night when I was very not well. I was 6 at the time. To this day I can’t even eat a whisky chocolate. Smell whisky either.

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      3. Lol.. Get arrested now. I mind doing a filler article for hist mag I once edited and it was on all these things kids were given in the past. Shocker as you can imagine. But yeah he will have had his work in the morning, getting up at 5 and he will have thought, this will settle this…Well…. Big mistake.

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      4. We were just talking about all that kind of stuff earlier. The whisky incident at aged 6 did not even make the top ten. At 2 was the time..more than once… that a teacher being off in p3.. you in p4 were hauled out a class, handed a book and told to go read that for an hour to the p3s. But at one in that top ten was defo the day where at aged 7, miles from home with another 7 year old, the 8 year old in charge, walked in front of a swing and accidently got her teeth kicked out, so with the other 7 year old and the 8 year old’s 5 year old sister, you walked miles back, with her streaming blood from her mouth over a busy road and through the roughest housing estate in the city and handed her up to her mam. AND thought nowt of it. Nowadays every parent would have been charged with gross negligence or whatever. Diff times indeed.

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  1. I am praying for guidance for you and help with every aspect of your life. I understand completely living with unknowns. I had finally went back to work at the beginning of July only to be signed off work last week for medical reasons – my shoulder is causing me a lot of grief. Life must be lived one day at a time. I think that the pandemic is driving that lesson home – at least that is the case for me. Keep the faith, Gary. All will be well.

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  2. Maybe being so dang nearsighted most of my life, or all my drama traumas have taught me to just keeping going. Some patches are rough road, and there may be detours, but the JOURNEY is what matters… there is no “destination”.
    Ooo… just made me think if a song



  3. Life’s uncertainties are difficult to navigate. You already had enough, and then pandemic and despicable government leaders. Sending hugs and hope you get some good news soon.


  4. Yep, it’s heading somewhere. We’re always heading somewhere. It may not be full speed ahead, but that just means we have time to stop and smell the roses. Well… metaphorically speaking.

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