The quickest sequel ever. Only a few hours ago I wrote about where did the summer holidays go! Where did the first 6 months of lockdown go. It’s ending for many but not for some. Not for us. That got me thinking, which is dangerous🤪🧐
What has changed for Hawklad and me over those 6 months.
So for Hawklad the following have been the big changes…
- His fears about health and illness have gone through the roof. Just exploded. He is wracked with anxieties and the need to wash is never more than a few minutes away.
- His social anxieties have become more prominent. He is more inward looking, and less likely to interact with others. As a result he had become more isolated.
- He is more aware of the world.
- He is more aware of Aspergers.
- He is more aware of the incompatibilities between the outdated world and those who are on the spectrum.
- His reading has really come on. In his words – ‘more of a part time dyslexic now’. The irony that happened without direct school teaching.
- His available world has shrunk. The days of school, trips to the beach, a hill walk, an outing to a historic site, a visit to a friends house – they all seem a distant memory. Most days he can’t even get to his own front gate.
- He has shot up. Now taller than his Dad.
- He has become thinner. Need to watch that.
- He became a teenager. Almost instantaneously he suddenly found movies like Dumb and Dumber, Bill and Ted and anything by Will Farrell hysterical.
- He has a truly shocking hairstyle. Dad is great at doing them and he has so much hair to mess up.
- He can now talk about his mum without so much sadness. Much more about being proud of her.
- He sleeps much less now.
- He is becoming more clingy. Needing more reassurance that I’m in the house somewhere.
- Many of his personal traits, those that are often identified as being Aspergers, have become more pronounced. More marked.
So many things have changed for our son. Changes in circumstances, physical changes, changes in personality. Some of these changes could be down to the lockdown but it could also be a natural development. It’s a difficult time for him, to be a teenager. But add in Aspergers and it can be such a disorientating period. Trying to find a fit between the complex world and the need to find personal identity. Finding that sadly Aspergers is still not widely seen as being socially acceptable. What to do? Try to confirm or be himself. All this at a time when he may become more inwardly looking and less likely to talk to about his emotions. Potentially troubling times ahead. Maybe that’s the next theme for our journey. We shall see.
Soon I will try to do a similar list for me. What’s changed for this Kermit the Frog.
A Dad trying to cope with the loss of his Partner and becoming a single parent. 
So many inter-connected things… teen years are a challenge for everyone. You’re both doing a great job!
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Thank you x
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It’s a shame that children/teens with disabilities can’t express their feelings. So very difficult for both of you
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I guess it’s just part of the growing up process.
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But seems worse during this period.
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It does.
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Seems like that’s the tough part. We don’t want our kids to be unaware but with awareness comes anxiety. For me I have to consciously and actively seek to become aware of the good around me and in people and the world to counteract what I know about the dark side of life. This doesn’t cure my anxiety but definitely lessens it. Unfortunately my kids are very unaware of certain dangers and will run headlong into the fray. Is Hawklad able to communicate with others via writing or is that a challenge as well? Hopefully if you remain open and talking about your emotions with him he will do the same.
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My son is starting to pickup more but he still misses so much. As if some stuff just won’t register. We just have to be there for them.
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A list to save and look back on. He’s reading more!! That’s a big change!! Congrats!!
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It is a step forward.
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It’s not easy being green, but keep looking for that Rainbow Connection.😉
Teens are so difficult. I know puberty is just around the corner for Ben, but he seems ageless. He also seems genderless. Maybe it’s just how I see him or maybe he’s truly just a Ben.
I know that talking to my girls about how I felt and things I experienced at their age when they were teens, helped them to talk to me. They enjoyed laughing at what a dork I was. My diary from age 12 had them nearly wetting themselves with laughter. 🤷🏼♀️
Awesome news about Hawklads reading!! 💃🏼✨ That makes me smile BIG! He’s SO smart, with being able to read more, he’ll be able to learn about whatever he wants. That is SOOOO great! YOU helped him do that! YOU took the pressure off, allowed him to go at his speed. YOU are an awesome teacher AND and awesome Dad! A superhero! Gary Kermit Superdad, you rock!🤘💌💌
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Thank you Angie. You know how to make a muppet blush. xxxx
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I think being a teen has had a lot of impact too.
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I think your right.
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👍👍👍
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🙏
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I don’t think I can say it better than what King Ben’s Grandma said. So, what she said. 😀 You’re an awesome dad and you know it. Hawklads amazing too. You’re a dynamic duo. 😊
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Thank you Tina. That means so much to me. xxx
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It sounds like you’re doing a wonderful job. Having been a parent of teenagers, I can tell you that the teen years are the hardest to parent through! You’re going to do great! 🙂
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So many people say the same thing. Thank you x
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You’re very welcome!
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You know him so well
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Hopefully
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They seem to change overnight sometimes. I look at my almost 16 year old now and can’t believe it’s the same individual. Then on occasions I have a flash of the little toddler/boy still in there.
Great news about the reading. That’s such an achievement x
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It’s a real step forward for him. x
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A huge leap. I hope his school at home day or homeschooling day went well x
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It was ok x
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😊
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Xx
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Despite everything and while you may not think of it this way, this is avery positive post cos you are looking at the realities and listing them. You may not like some of them, fear some of them, but others you can see are good and better than before. That is the best place to be, rather than panicking sticking your head in the sand, or wanting to crawl back to bed. Now… we want your list next.
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Its coming……
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My oldest seemed to sail into the teen years without much to do about the whole thing. But Catelyn? Oy. I don’t know how we are going to survive this!
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Hide behind the sofa with a few good books for a few years. x
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I can’t even begin to know your problems but I can tell from your blog that there is no better duo to handle it all. You have so much to be proud of. Always remember that!
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Thank you xx
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It is so heart-wrenching to watch our children struggle. Far more painful than dealing with our own issues. Hold on to hope and remember how resilient they are after all. 💕
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It is so hard. All we can do is our best, no more. xxx
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You’re a superstar and don’t forget it. This has just prompted a recent memory … and you might think it’s a bit ‘American’ or touchy feely but I loved it. Sitting down eating our pudding with another family and playing a card game. This was no ordinary game however. If you want me to find out what it was called, I’m seeing the family this weekend. Basically it was a pack of cards with questions on … it prompted everyone to talk and if you didn’t want to answer too specifically, it didn’t matter. I’ve just looked on Amazon and there are definitely similar things, such as ‘We! Connect Cards!’ Of course this is on the US website of Amazon but there’s bound to be something similar. It asks things like, ‘What’s been the highlight of your week?’ ‘What is your favourite food’ ‘What’s the most adventurous thing you’ve ever done’ etc etc. They are colour coded, some being light and fun and some being deeper. Anyway, just a thought, but my God I wish I’d had these for my boys. In fact I’d still like to get them. Katie x
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That sounds so cool. Must be able to get them. Thank you xx
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