Life becomes really hard when you stop dreaming. When you stop imagining a wonderful holiday, the perfect job, achieving a goal, publishing that book, being with someone, seeing that better life. Whatever the Dream is, they are precious but they are so easily switched off. I’ve been there. It’s a not a good place to be. After I lost my partner, my dreams did switch off. All I saw was a void. Nothing to look forward to. No reason to hope. Nothing was going to change.

I was lucky in that I did have something to drive me on. I still had to be a parent. Actually a double parent now. In effect my life continued because our son needed me. I lived life through somebody else’s eyes. Unfortunately far too many with dreams switched off don’t have such luck. That’s a dark, scary and lonely place to be.

But dreams are always there. It still can be a wonderful life. It’s all about finding a way of switching them back on again. It took me a long time but now they are back. I can see some wonderful dreams again. Now I have to nurture them. Cherish them. Those dream muscles need to be worked out each day. Make them stronger. Make those dreams more real. Fine tune them for me.

Hopefully one day I can harvest them now.

51 thoughts on “A time to dream”

  2. That dark void, where you feel so alone, so lost, so hopeless… it’s really awful, and unless a person has been there, they can’t truly understand how dark & deep that void is.
    My trips (there have been 2) into that darkness were for different reasons than yours, but I’ve been there. My girls gave me a reason to hang on, just like Hawklad gave you a reason.

    Hope, dreams… they are the light inside of each of us. The more we nourish them, the brighter they get. They help light our way out of the void.
    Keep nourishing those dreams, Gray Kermit Superdad! You’ve already left the void far, far behind you.

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  3. very good point…i’ve always kept a few “pipe dreams” in my mental arsenal for such times when nothing else seems to matter…those very dark times when i have dug myself down into such a deep burrow that i could easily slip into the void. That, for me, is why they matter- even though they may never come to pass and in fact i don’t even pursue those dreams in real life- they keep me afloat at times.. One of them is a particular boat i would never be able to afford on my own. But i can lazily dream about owning it and all the things i would do…daily dreams ( the ones that actually are viable) are necessary also…because they provide me substance, something to work toward, and sometimes that means just mini projects toward that goal..keep dreaming and Namaste !

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  4. I think a dream I had to lay down—better visual materials for nonverbal kids, might be being handed back to me. Books where the text actually matches the pictures instead of like most picture books where the picture add to the text. Gonna start nurturing this dream again instead of focusing on what I can’t do right now. Ya that void is a yucky place.

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  6. There are times of dreams, to plan this and that, to look forward to and be happy in the moment thereof and there are also moments of confusion, lost footing, not sure of anything or why; that my friend is all-inclusive of being human, but to be humane is to recognise those things in other sentient beings and to act with kindness from then on towards them. All living creatures upon this spinning blue marble are in it together. Oh wait, is it really 2am in the morning and haven’t I got to get back to sleep, perchance to dream… before the mad rush for work in the morning? Na night.

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  15. I just feel this urge to live and dream again takes so much time after such huge losses.. its like the love those people held for you goes under as they leave and its such a journey and takes so many waves of grief to ride through… I feel you moving forward each day.. I know there are wonderful things out there waiting for you (and me too) and when hope comes so does a sense of possibility.. But for now I am just glad you exist on this earth and your lovely son too.. ❤

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  19. I agree – parenting is a life saver. One of my darker times was before I had kids. When I pulled out of that one I got a sun tattooed on me. I see the sun as a promise – it will always be there. Something I can count on. I guess that wouldn’t work in your town. And rain seems a little depressing for a tattoo. 🙂 Anyway, I guess you find what works and I am glad you are dreaming again.

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  21. I’m so happy that your dreams have been switched on again! Hold fast to those dreams. Reminds me of a Langston Hughes poem:

    “Hold fast to dreams
    For if dreams die
    Life is a broken-winged bird
    That cannot fly.

    Hold fast to dreams
    For when dreams go
    Life is a barren field
    Frozen with snow.”

    The snow is melting f and birds are learning to fly again, my friend.

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