The one thing that you get used to as an Aspergers parent is routine. Lots of routine. That’s tough for parents like me as I am not really a routine person. I’m a bit more impromptu. Bit more going with the flow, see what happens person. Maybe some would call it winging it. Which is most odd. On most of the old Aspergers tests I would score very highly yet on one I was way down. Routine.

On this Hawklad is completely different to me. He needs his routine, his order, his plans. He needs to have that safety net and he needs to follow them. It’s reflected in so many things. If we are driving somewhere then we need to follow the usual route, even if that means a much longer journey. He likes to wear the same types of clothing – if he grows out of them then we need to replace with almost exact copies. He has a TV and movie schedule which he sets way in advance. We will often watch the same movie over and over again. School lessons have to follow the timetable without variation. We need to buy the same types of pens and pencils. He likes to go out in the garden and talk at the same times. He doesn’t like me to do things like change my hairstyle or try new clothes. It’s funny I’ve been wanting to shave my hair off for years but that’s just not allowed.

Break the routine and he is immediately hit with waves of self doubt and fear. Over the years we have tried to work on this. Slowly trying to introduce change. Occasionally trying to introduce unplanned but definitely fun routine changes. But it’s never really worked. Routine is just a key part of who Hawklad is.

Another area of much needed repetition is food. He has the same seven day food menu. The same foods on the same days, year after year. Trying new foods is just not something he does really. Normally ends in failure.

“Dad what on Earth is that.”

It’s a sandwich.

“Yes I can see the bread but it’s what is between that which is the worry.”

That will be cheese and onion crisps. It’s going to be one of the great gourmet experiences. A crisp butty. A crisp sandwich.

“Really. That is just wrong on so many levels.”

It’s fantastic. Go on try it. It’s a family tradition. Your Little Nan would always be treating herself with one. But her crisp butty would be made with Ready Salted crisps.

“Just No Dad.”

Ok. But if it’s not a crisp butty then what about a chip butty. A sandwich made from fried chips (fries) with heaps of tomato ketchup. Another true taste sensation.

“Erm NO. You can keep that as well.”

Ok Hawklad what about a fish finger sandwich. Fantastic.

“Not happening. That’s a tradition which is not passing down the gene line anymore. It ends with you.”

58 thoughts on “Odd sandwiches”

  2. Ooh I LOVE crisp sandwiches, chip butties and a fish finger sarnie. They are three of my faves. Particularly cheese and onion crisps …. yum 😋
    What did you score high on in the old Aspergers scales? 🤔

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  4. Reading this reminds me of my dad. He needed his routines too and hated having them messed with. He would have been happy to eat the same food day in day out (kind of like me, actually). His biggest fixation was timing. He would order a taxi for say 10am and as the time got closer, he would start a count down “he’ll be here in 3 and a half minutes..” I always wanted to say “Dad, no one keeps time like that!” but we all just humoured him. Then he would start saying, darkly “he’s 4 minutes late…another 30 seconds and he’ll be ten minutes late..” etc. To my knowledge, Dad was never evaluated for any sort of disorder. He was just considered eccentric.

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      1. Yes, I might. I might do that one day, but not with the awful chips (crisps) that I bought Andrew last shopping. I did him a favor and ate the rest of them for him. I was a human vaccume . Got rid of them down the hatch. Now I know why he doesn’t ask me to order those anymore. 😁 I will have to take them off my saved shopping list. Do you ketchup flavored chips in England. Andrew likes them. I don’t. But sometimes I eat his chips and then complain about them. 😂

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  7. My oldest will only eat cucumbers, apples, beans and rice, spaghetti, chicken nuggets and fries, and pancakes and waffles. Anything else is not considered food. Part of it comes from having reactions to so many different foods and feeling sick afterwards. Sort of like human interactions that are negative. Cooking truly depresses me when I get limited like this. My youngest will eat more variety but it generally needs to be doused in tomato ketchup. Funny how food and socializing get curbed at the same time by autism. Food and relationships have both been sources of pain yet they are also sources of joy as well.

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  8. It seems clear who is the one to adjust. At least you always know what items you need to have at home. Although it may sound like an easy task because there is no creativity needed, it has a lot of challenges hidden. I am just thinking of your vacation in Switzerland. You may not have gotten the food he was used to. Or how did you handle that?

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  11. When my son was quite young he had to have a routine and very strict nap and bedtimes. Even when he got into school, he always did best when I kept him to a routine. The teenage years have brought many changes. Puberty!

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  14. Hahaha that’s funny… I am a go with the flow, I can adjust easily – but I like routine better. Line it up ✌️

    Total with him on the fish stuff 😝😝😝 yuk!

    We should have a English American food fest – “would you eat this?” Lol

    Kidding

    Boy I missed a lot 😮 but I have to go to bed – gnite

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      1. I watch some program recently about survival… and teaching you how to survive in wilderness… ok I will die before I have to eat bugs … sorry that is not ever happening!!

        They made a comment about how it’s a mental block for Americans 😄😄 yes – it is completely blocked lol – hell no!!!

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  15. Been there, done that – but with a nephew. We had to stop at a certain restaurant (not just the name, but the location) for his nuggets for lunch. It’s an anchor in a world of constant, uncontrollable change.

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