Black and white. Don’t worry this is not a post about my so called football team.

There is so many grey areas in my life. So much appears to be unclear, uncertain, ambiguous. But there is black and white. No ambiguity about being a widow. Well actually that’s not strictly true – in the eyes of the government I am not actually defined as a widow – well like on everything else, they can stuff off.

Another black and white issue in my life is being a single parent. No getting around that. Currently it’s me and no one else. I am the parent, the legal guardian, the teacher, the school liaison officer, the cook, the chef (OMG), the snack maker, the cleaner, the money earner, the making ends meeter, the worker, the gardener, the shopper, the clothes mender, the thing finder, the voice of reason (ha,ha,ha), the trip planner, the censor, the nurse, the pharmacist, the shoulder to cry on, the person to shout at, the present buyer, the diplomat, the planner (wow), the fixer, the Aspergers expert (🙀🤯), the dyslexia specialist, the Xbox fixer, the person who punches the WiFi router, the telephone receptionist, the purse keeper (the Accountant is really the last person who should be trusted with this), the entertainment organiser, the dishwasher, the relationship counsellor, the tidy upper, the you got enough layers on voice, the worrier, the hairdresser and the kick them out of bed bad guy.

I hear people frequently talk about single parents as like a curse of society – Enjoying the easy life – Sponging off the state – Non stop trips clothes shopping, coffee shops, gyms and nights out. I’m sorry they have no idea. It’s hard work, never ending, full time commitment. It’s incredibly isolating. It grinds you down.

BUT ultimately it’s one of the most rewarding thing you can ever do. It’s so worth the sacrifices.

43 thoughts on “Black and white”

  2. This sounds about like my tirade, as I munch chocolate and wonder why it really is worth it when I feel so tired -and I’m not half the things on your list because I am married to someone who does the earning money and role model and a million other things I’d miss if they were gone half.

    If this is helpful to you, keep writing. Otherwise, take a break.

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  3. I feel like being a SAHM is a full-time job. You, my friend, are constantly working overtime. You are doing a great job. I can’t even imagine how hard it is, but I feel like you are a rock star!

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  5. Nice ending. Sorry that too many eyes still need to be opened and so much more compassion and support needs to be shown. Keep hanging on, Superdad. And stay out of the rain. ❤

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  9. And you are doing an awesome job of it – I would add one more thing to the list though – consummate friend (if only virtually)! Give your self a pat on the back because all these things you do are so important, so very important. And to hell with the people who can’t (or won’t) see that. God bless.

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  10. Having never been a parent of any kind (do 11 cats count?) I have to say I think you have the hardest job in the world. Rewarding, I am sure, but deserving of so many medals. Especially with all the extra complications!

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  11. Doing everything on your own is rough! Robyn is right, it’s a full time job. It’s actually like 10 full time jobs done simultaneously. You are a rockstar superhero, Gary Kermit Superdad! Hold your head up and pat yourself on the back! You are doing a fantastic job!! 💌💌

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  12. I never really appreciated how hard it must be to be a single parent until I had small children. Then I can’t tell you how many times I thought, “how in the world do people do it without another parent to help out?” You are right, children are absolutely worth the effort, but I hope you are giving yourself a pat on the back now and then!

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  13. You sound like me on my rare, “I need a partner so I can take a break” days.

    What slips through the most? For me, it’s housekeeping. I haven’t washed dishes, vacuumed, nor dusted in months. Dusting has actually, literally, been years. I fantasy about “cleaning” by burning the house down and starting over. Not that I’m stressed out or anything.

    You finally punched the wifi? Good for you! Did it help??

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  15. Well single parent has been hard for me too… but being married with children was even harder with an abusive alcoholic … so still not easy but whatever

    Also I am very much a woman in every sense of that word… meaning I know all the woman things… I know how to be a mom and handle all the mom stuff – I know how to be a wife and handle the household … but I have had to learn all the man stuff 😝😝😝 which btw I hate!!! Bleh man stuff sucks!!!

    But whatever – now I am a Jack of all trades … I am versatile now ❤️ I got skills (or so I like to believe – let’s just go with that lol) ✌️

    But is good for me… I learn how to depend on myself… I won’t let myself down 💪

    And being a parent … I had 2 prior kids so this is my 3rd go around… old hat lol

    Granted this one is a very strong willed girl lol 😄🙄

    But I have always had my hands full trying to juggle what I could. So doesn’t really bother me in that sense

    I just really don’t like the man stuff lol ✌️😄 … I do not like learning cars but whatever that education coming in handy. … I do not like learning electrical things and that is probably not the best for me lol

    But is good – just think – you got skills! ✌️ skills are good.

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      1. Well you too!! 😘✌️ I could say “ditto”

        Hahaha … well we have to move forward – what else are you gonna do? Life is just going to be life so you handle what you get.

        Along the way we learn new things – some things suck 😝😄✌️… but sometimes there is amazing too – and you learn many things along the way

        And sometimes things are hard or devastating or just so heavy… but is always just a moment if you can hang on… you gonna have dips and then you gonna have incredible… life just does that. Fight through the dips… and savor the incredible 😘✌️

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  17. I assume you’re aware that the unfortunate stereotype of a single parent has developed because some people have learned that if you have enough children, the government will pay you enough money that it makes no sense to work (aside from the whole self-esteem, work ethic thing). Most of us know those people are in no way related to other single parents (including most of those receiving government assistance). It’s a tough job

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