I was listening to the radio this morning and the presenter was happily chatting away. He talked about how things had changed for him. This got me thinking about how much it has for me. Changed beyond recognition.

Let’s go back 20 years

  • Just starting a life changing relationship
  • Still playing football and cricket,
  • Regular mountaineering and climbing,
  • Drinking alcohol a bit too much,
  • My social life often centred around the pub,
  • I would get edgy if I wasn’t meeting up regularly with friends,
  • Using alcohol to overcome social anxieties,
  • Work was super busy with so many meetings. So many people to deal with,
  • Spending little time at home (time at home was seen as a bit of a waste)
  • Holidays,
  • Frequent family meetings revolving around mum,
  • Concerts, football matches, the Theatre and the Cinema,
  • Trying to avoid being by myself and if I was I would try to drown out the silence with my MP3 player,
  • Fuelled on caffeine.

Now contrast that with this week….

  • Single parenting,
  • Aspergers,
  • Revisiting wonderful memories,
  • Emailing one or two friends,
  • Blogging,
  • No work,
  • Housebound with one trip beyond the gates to the Vets,
  • Tea total, no caffeine,
  • Lots of silence,
  • No meet-ups,
  • No prospect of holidays, trips out, concerts,
  • Reading,
  • Time spent talking with Hawklad,
  • Only one other physical conversation (briefly with the Vet),
  • Homeschooling,
  • Working out in the garden,
  • Trying to practice mindfulness.

Life definitely has changed. It always does eventually. Some things for the worse. Some things for the better. Some things I would change back. But many things I cherish. On balance I definitely wouldn’t go back.

40 thoughts on “Change”

  1. You’re getting the opportunity to REALLY know yourself and Hawklad. I definitely wouldn’t go back to 20 years ago. Ugh!

    Hopefully we are always growing, always improving. Even horrible things can have a Golden nugget inside. We just have to find it!

    💌💌💌

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  2. Looking back, there is not much to change is there? What would you undo, or alter in trying to keep in a place that was the. way it was?

    I find myself revisiting my life in Austria on my blog and wondering who I would have been if I had stayed there, and the answer is always “not the person you are now.”

    The intersection between nostalgia and regret is sometimes a to be mindful of, and with Covid a lot of the patterns we lived have been disrupted. I wonder if that’s a bad thing or just the fear of change that we take umbrage to (beyond the health consequences)?

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  3. You always know how to put a positive spin on things. Change can be hard, but like you said there are things that have been very rewarding too and yes, I agree I wouldn’t want to go back to 20 years ago, even with the uncertainty that Covid brings now!

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  5. Me 20yrs vs now: Living in apt in a fantastic, highly social, part of town. Thought I never own a home. 2 pet cats instead of 4 + strays/ferals. Fantastic neighbors. Small live bands at nearby bar provided a “background score” to my life (I miss that soooo much). 2 teeny blocks from the beach. Knees worked. HORRIBLE work commute (70 miles, one way). Steady income.

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      1. I guess it is. We all do live many lives when you look over it all, starting with your parents. That doesn’t even begin to cover how diff the world is now from then, never mind your life with them.

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  16. Definitely wouldn’t go back to who I was 20 years ago, as life is such a learning process. Would I go back 20 years knowing what I know now? That one is interesting to think about…💕

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