This is my favourite place to put my hot drink mug. Just the right size. Nice height. Views over the farmers fields. It was kind of the people who built the house to put this here all those years ago.

Sometimes you just have to do things yourself.

I remember having a conversation with a leading clinical psychologist just before she retired. She told me about the UK Health Service and its approach to kids like Hawklad. She was so disheartened. Increasingly parents have to fight for any support. The Government (this government) are intentionally making it more difficult to access public services and receive support. The view from the top is that it’s not the responsibility of tax payers to fund these things. It’s down to the individual. The more you can afford the better the service you can secure. The psychologist warned me that as soon as Hawklad became a teenager the services which have been secured will start to ebb away. Reviews by ‘independent’ managers will suddenly find him just above the support threshold and he will be removed from the support list. When he gets to adult life she said the support would be completely gone.

Hawklad turned 13 this year so where do we stand…..

  • He hasn’t seen a Paediatrician in two years (was supposed to be every 6 months). He has dropped down the priority list and is at the wrong end of the waiting list.
  • Zero help from school on his dyslexia. The NHS is prevented from providing any support as it has to come from Education budgets now.
  • Zero help with his Aspergers. The psychologist was not replaced when she retired and the service is on hold (4 years now).
  • Zero help with his ADHD as he was reassessed as being above threshold.
  • He did receive physio therapy help with his dyspraxia. He was due to start a programme to help with his writing and keyboard difficulties. But two weeks before the programme was due he was seen by an Independent assessor (never worked with Hawklad before). After 3 quick tests which lasted 4 minutes he was assessed as being above threshold and the service was withdrawn.
  • Grief Counselling still officially waiting…
  • The last support he has is an anxiety counselling service. But sine his last wonderful support worker was moved on, the service has started to dwindle away. No idea when the next support session will happen. He’s unable to venture out of his house ot touch objects due to his anxieties BUT as he is not in physical danger then he is classed as a low priority.

Sometimes predictions come true.

Sometimes you have to do things yourself .

73 thoughts on “Help”

  12. You’ve earned your cape Superdad! Just managing not to rage at the unfairness and idiocy every day… I know being angry won’t help, but man, oh man… it makes me angry for you both!!!

    I know you and Hawklad will find your way through all this. Whatever it takes, you’ll do it. And I’ll be cheering you on!💃🏼🌠🌈✨💌💌💌

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  15. I know how hard my sister-in-law (a teacher) fought to get limited assistance for my nephew. All of which slowly ebbed away as he grew older. However, he holds down a responsible job in retail and will become a father in the New Year, after moving in with his girlfriend at the start of Covid. All in all, he’s not doing too badly. Of course, I’ve no idea how he compares on the spectrum to your son, but……he’s one of the nicest, kindest people you could ever meet.

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  16. So very sorry! This just shouldn’t be but sadly its your reality. Fortunately,, for your son, you don’t know the meaning of “giving up!” You are an inspiration and I pray that help for your son will come.

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  19. Yeah that about sums it up. I am now doing OT, physio, anxiety management, etc myself with the kids as services withdrawn. To be perfectly honest though I think I’m doing a better job than the so-called “Professionals” did. But unlike them, I’m not getting paid for it.
    Just remember though, you don’t actually have to do it all on your own. We are here for any help and advice we can offer.

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  20. I am so sorry. It is very much this way in our country too. I can always hear in your posts the love and commitment you have for your son. He is very fortunate to have a father who is so aware and so deeply committed to his need. I can imagine how overwhelming those needs can be at times, no matter the love that is there. I think these frustrations are shared by many parents who love and care for children with deeper need. I am sending you and he lots of love and care across the miles as you continue to navigate this process. 🤍🤍

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  22. It is so shocking that this can happen in a so-called civilized country. (Is it true that UNICEF will be helping to feed “under-privileged” children at Christmas?) I get so angry for you at the indifference of the government and I am so tired of the inequalities everywhere. Arghhhh

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  24. And here I thought the system (what there is of it) here in the US was bad. I will never understand why it is so difficult to provide help to those that need it. It should be a simple human behavior, but we make it excruciatingly complex.

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  26. Always bear in mind that you are not alone. More than ever, it becomes critical for you to connect with other parents facing this dilemma. Together, you can and must find ways to support each other for the well-being of your children with special needs. Don’t give up ❤

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  27. This is an awful state of affairs. When people hear about public service cuts they think about police/NHS/Education salaries and little else. I have worked in the public sector most of my life and have seen environmental/nature/wildlife services cut to the bone. Why should taxpayers pay for a clean, healthy, natural environment? Why should they pay for SEN etc? Our nation has lost its heart.

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  29. I have complete confidence in you. I also agree with another commenter before this, that you’d likely do a better job with your son than anyone else.
    What’s rough on you, though, is that you’re alone. If you just had someone else, there’d be some breathing space, chances of a break to recuperate and to come back stronger. Someone right there with whom you can talk things over. Someone your son is safe and comfortable with.
    I wish I could be that person for you. I still remember how I struggled when the kids were young. It’s so much harder and different for you.
    Gary, this year, I’m going to pray for this person for you. It may / may not be the right thing to pray for but I’ve no worries. God will sort that out.

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