Families are funny.

I come from quite a big family. I’m the youngest of the brood. In many ways the odd one out. The one with the funny diet. The one who works out. The one outdoor person. The one that went to university. The one who is bereaved. The one single parent. The one Aspergers parent. The one who blogs. I could go on…..

Don’t get me wrong we are a loving family. No egos. No fights. No cross words.

We are geographically spread but would fairly regularly see each other. Would…..

Mum was the gravitational force that held us in orbit. The force that would bring us together. Now the gravity has gone. We don’t meet up much now. The links are now mainly phone calls and texts. 2020 has not helped. I’ve not seen one sister and my brother in over 2 years now.

But we are still loving and caring. But here’s the thing.

You can be loving without being close. You can be family and not share. Be caring without understanding.

I share things on this blog that my family never hear. If I need a shoulder to cry on I don’t turn to my brother or sisters. I turn to my closest friend(s). That’s were I’m best understood.

Yep families are funny.

L

57 thoughts on “Families

  1. I grew up with no brothers or sisters, but I regularly saw the 10 cousins I have. However, now that my parents, grandparents and all my aunts and uncles have died, I see more of my husband’s family than I do of mine. C’est la vie.

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  2. I put things on my blog that the majority of my family have no idea about. Apart from Bro in NZ (they read my blog and are the only family who do), I have little, if any, contact with them.
    My niece contacted me before Christmas and we got a parcel from her which was lovely. I don’t feel guilty only sending them a card as I have no idea of their interests or tastes. If the contact continues in the New Year I may rethink that, BUT there could then be an issue with her sister and her family as I’d be accused of favouritism. How can I contact someone who has ignored my 3 requests for her address?
    And as for Sis? Well forget it as she has forgotten me or more likely, doesn’t want to know.
    Don’t get me wrong, this suits everyone as we all know where we stand. With Mum gone, there is no reason for contact, and she was the only reason we did or visited anyway.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I find that when I write a post about something personal, I can allow my thoughts and feelings to flow without interruption. without distraction, without limits. I love my family and share lots with them, but for example. during a phone-call with my sister., the call often ends abruptly because we both have signal problems where we live, so I often go for a walk to talk to her, then her little ones are running round so she has to see to them and then carry on the conversation, sometimes she has a dozen questions so I have to keep explaining things…. it can end up a very disjointed conversation. My Dad’s hearing is not great, so phone conversations often prove quite comical. To be honest I prefer writing letters and typing emails to my family.

    When I sit and type, no interruptions, no distractions, no signal issues – it all flows out smoothly and sometimes coherently.

    For that reason the blog has ended up being quite thorough Chronicles of Caramel’s Capers there for anyone who wishes to have a peek at.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I’m lucky in that I’m super close with my daughters. We discuss everything, including lots of stuff I’d never blog about. But that’s it for me ~ I have lots of other family members (cousins, etc.) I barely know and would never confide in…

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  5. How large, Gary? I am the ninth of ten, with both parents (one sic) and four brothers now dead, including my youngest brother who had Down Syndrome–he was the first of the siblings to go. I am close with none, but still in contact with my two sisters next to me in age. To the rest, I am the weird brother, the hippie, the loner-by-trade, the ex-druggie. The Atheist, god forbid! And, like you, the only one with a university degree, though I was 57 years old when I graduated.
    Blogs, no one knows what a blog is, let alone that I kinda have one.
    The day of our last reunion, extended family with hundreds of attendees, I moved to another province, again.
    My family is my partner, through five cats that live with us, and the four thoroughbreds who live down south at our trainers (mother, two daughters, one granddaughter.) Four male, six female.
    And that is the way I choose to live. I am happy!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. through five cats? I need to find how to turn off spelchek on this tablet, it is killing me! the five cats. (I do not live through cats, though it is not a bad idea, their world is much better than the human world, I gotta say!)

      Like

  6. Same. This holiday was another chapter for dysfunctional drama with my family. I don’t why it still surprises me. Unfortunately, they do read my blog, so I could never write about it. It WAS nice to celebrate Christmas with just the five of us. It was my favorite Christmas ever. It’s always good to remember who you can talk to and who your friends really are.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Gary…that sky…wonderful! I’ve always envied people who had strong family and yet I’ve seen people torn apart by family disagreements or misunderstandings. I’m glad you are still close, even though it may be different these days. Everyone follows their particular life path so it is inevitable that we may have more in common with friends than with family. Knowing that they still care is what counts.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. My friends are my family now. My siblings are anti-vaxxers who turned my mom against me after my dad died. Though this is the first Christmas I’ve had absolutely no contact from any of them. It makes me so sad.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. It’s hard when the person who holds a family together is gone. I have two sibs and get on very well with both but we simply don’t see half enough of each other now. But, we are very much there for each other which is crucial.
    Blogging is definitely a whole other world and one’s friends hear can probably read one better than most people.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Having no living siblings, no living parents, my family is small now — just me, my daughter, and my granddaughter, all sharing the same home in near-perfect harmony. We are what some would call an odd family, but we’re happy … it works for us. And … I have my blogging family, some of whom (include yourself in this) are as close as any brother or sister could ever be. I am lucky.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I am the oldest (by 5-18 years) of 11, 5 brothers, 5 sisters (divorced parents). We’re not that geographically separated, but I am not well connected to many of them except through social media. Two work for us, so very connected to those two brothers, and my bpd sister is very dependent on me. None of them read my blog, a place where I have been able to be brutally honest and make many wonderful friends, some I have visited or have visited me.

    A couple of my sisters are sweet, but very gossipy. Two of my siblings have sons diagnosed with autism, and that connects them. I feel like the age difference has always separated me from my sibs and I feel a responsibility for them, but no camaraderie, necessarily. My dad (father of 9 of us) died in February. He was young when he had me, older dad when his twin sons were born 18+ years later. He was the glue for sure. When dad was in the hospital dying all his kids were there (and my sons were with them) except me at the time and apparently they had many nostalgic conversations and all agreed that I was dad’s favorite and they told many stories. My sons shared this with me thinking it would make me feel better, but it hurt. The pain of the loss was enormous.

    Without dad, some of the already fragile connection is lost and I don’t really feel a desire to be the person who tries to make it stronger.

    Happy new year to you and your son! 🤗

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Gorgeous sky!
    Families are funny, yes indeedy!! Ben & my daughters are the only blood relatives I’m close to.
    And my Blogging Buddies are a lot closer than my mother or brother. My daughters don’t read my blog, but they know about it. Through my blog I’ve “met” fantastic people who care about me, support me and understand me. That’s the definition of “family” IMO.💌💌💌

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Ah, family. That word evokes many mixed feelings in me. I only have one brother, no sisters. We were very close growing up, especially because of the abuse we dealt with and the fact we really had no other social life.😏 Now, he lives several states away and I’ve only seen him once in the last decade. It’s not like we don’t still care-we text on special occasions. We’ve just both had long hard paths that led us different ways. Our mom and dad I talk on the phone with maybe once a month, mostly when I call them. We relate on the levels we can, avoid the conversations we must. There are days I miss the single mom years-not for being a single mom, of course. Wouldn’t trade my husband or my bonus boy for anything! But, more because I felt closer to my parents in that season. Now, we care, but all from a distance. Before this year, I kept on inviting them to come see the kids in their performances, come stay for a holiday, but there is always something in the way, usually because my mom maintains my one living uncle and her three cats can’t do without her. If we wanted to see them, we had to come their way. Now, even that possibility has been taken by the circumstances of this year. I wish I was better at friendships. I know nice people and we say nice things to each other, but the place I go to when I am struggling is more likely to be here on WordPress than anywhere in my offline life.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. I am the oldest of 4 siblings, and my parents came from relatively large families – my father was one of 12 children and my mother was one of 7. I have 34 uncles and aunts by blood or marriage and more than 60 first cousins, so i have a very large whānau (expanded family).

    The last family reunion on my father’s side that I attended (they’re held every 5 years but I’ve missed the last two) had almost 300 attending – most of whom I had nothing in common with.

    I find the anonymity provided through blogging (only my daughter knows of my blog) allows me to express thoughts that I would have difficulty sharing directly, even with the wife.

    Families are strange arrangements. I don’t see my siblings often – perhaps less than once a year – yet when we do meet up it’s like we’ve never been apart, and I know if push comes to shove they will always have my back.

    Liked by 3 people

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