Running on empty last couple of days. Even the simple tasks are becoming complex. You know you are in for along day when you nod off during the first school at home lesson. The lights went out midway through a sentence explaining Factor Trees to Hawklad. All before 10am.
Here’s the ultimate irony. A tired muppet Dad who wasn’t even trusted to keep the score in Pub Darts matches now trying to explain maths to a kid who has just got 38 out of 40 in his term mathematics test. Talk about feeling out of my depth.
Which is how I feel when I venture into the world of poetry. Yes I’m sorry it’s that time again. Head to the panic rooms my friends. It’s poetry..
It’s poetry Jim but not as we know it…..
It’s really Terrible Poetry time. Time to have a go at Chelsea Owens Mused Poetry challenge.
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Phew! After last month‘s hilarious entries, I had a bit of trouble thinking of what our next venture should be. What to do, what to do…
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Let’s try an oldie but a goodie: A Funny Love Poem Inside a Greeting Card.
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Most greeting cards can’t hold a ballad, so a few stanzas ought to do us for the Length.
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I’d recommend rhyming. I mean, you are serious about this love interest, aren’t you?
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Yes, this is love (or something like unto it) but the Rating‘s PG or cleaner. After all, some kid might stumble across your offering while trying out all the musical cards.
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Only in stories do lovers say all the right words, remember every birthday and anniversary, and get just the right present. We are not writing a story, here, we’re writing a humorous poem. As such, make us laugh. Laughter’s the best way to a person’s heart; right?
And, as a side note, whoever said this was a card expressing love to a person? What if you’re more fond of a juicy cheeseburger? Just a thought…
You have till 10:00 a.m. MST next MONTH (March 5) to submit a poem.
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When you lie in double bed all alone
Experiencing a completely love free zone
Feeling like a discarded out of tune trombone
Your only company is a smelly dog and farting cat
Feeling as popular as flea ridden rabid fat wombat
But maybe today that Hallmark card will land on your mat
Bringing much needed kisses and expressions of affection
Offering a few sweet moments of romantic misdirection
Which is always better than a bad case of fungal infection…..
Very good, truly shocking poetry!!
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Thank you Robyn. I think I will leave the parenting and autism writing to you (your way better at it than me) and I will stick to the poetry and baking. Much safer that way.
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You warned us what you were going to do and , to be fair, you delivered. I read the words £factor tree” and my eyelids started to droop…
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I hate those trees.
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Thy sounded bad, but when I looked them up I wanted to run away screaming. I see no need for them in a properly run world. They are like TOWIE and salad – just not necessary.
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Definitely
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Well it’s probably better than I could conjure up 😊
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I’m not sure.
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laughed too hard at the last two lines, nearly wet myself.
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Thank you that made me smile.
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Hahaha! Very good, I mean bad poem. Loved it. Thanks for the smiles
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😍🙏
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If farting cats and fungal infections don’t say True Love, I don’t know what does🤣🤣🤣
💌💌💌
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I thought so as well. ❤️❤️❤️😍
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That’s exactly what I said!!
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❤️
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lol..thats great! Zaphod Beeblebrox..
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I have his T-shirt still ❤️
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Haha. I love the ending. Great stuff.
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Thank you
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Factor tree?? But… rhyming affection with (fungal) infection is a master stroke!
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Shakespeare like 🤣🤣🤣
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PYRAMUS
O kiss me through the hole of this vile wall!
THISBE
I kiss the wall’s hole, not your lips at all.
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It’s as if Bill was trying to write out his sonnets with the WP editor
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Ever think of going into lie down comedy? 😂😂
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If you see my dress sense some would argue I’ve been in that for years.
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😂
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🤗
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Oh my!! Too funny.
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Thank you my friend 🥰
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Very good and very poignant
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Thank you sir
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OK, that’s very good. Made me laugh.
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Cool
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I love it … poetry in motion ❤️
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Cool ❤️
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Thanks for the laugh!!!
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Cool.
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That was really good hahaha last bed it
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Thanks
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I have NO words! 😀 😀 😀
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Must be good then.
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Oooh Gary! Thanks for the laugh!
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Pleased you laughed xx
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I might have groaned too. 🙂
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🙏x
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❤️❤️
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Bravo, Gary! The perfect winner!
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You have just made me smile 😊🤗
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You clearly made a lot of other people smile. 🙂
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I hope so. You certainly do xxx
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Lol garry! Your good at this poetry lark! ❤
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