I can’t blame him for these, this time. But it does explain why he keeps coming in the house with muddy paws.
I had a post yesterday about Autism. When I wrote it things seemed ok with it. But then something happened. I happened….
I’m still working through this pcurrent bout of depression. Won’t be the first or last time I do this. When depression becomes DEPRESSION with me I start to doubt myself. Question my worth. That’s what happened yesterday. I reread the post and didn’t like it. The words were wrong. Uncertain of the message. Why was I bothering. If people want to read about Autism and Autism Patenting then they would be so much better off going to other blogs. Go to a blog like Robyn’s wonderful one. Nothing I said could change my mind. The voices in my would not be satisfied until I deleted the post. Eventually that is what happened.
Today the voices are not so strong. I guess today the post would have had a slightly better chance of being published. With my depression it comes in waves. Bad days then better days. Will be that way until I finally get on top of this run of D. In the meantime I will plod on. Trying to not listen to the voices in my head too much. Focusing on those things in my life which bring joy and happiness.
I can do this
We can do this.
Sending you warm hugs Gary! Don’t feel that bad because you’re feeling down. It happens to us all.
LikeLiked by 1 person
❤️❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes you can . I pray for you both when I say my prayers everyday. Take care and our best wishes are always with you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you
LikeLike
Nothing wrong with deleting a post! We should feel comfortable with our blogs. Hugs 💕
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hugs to you my friend as well ❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love your posts about autism. And all your other ones too. Please don’t listen to the negative voices. I get them too. Been writing and deleting the same post for three days now.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I will try
LikeLike
Write for yourself. I’d people don’t like what they read then they don’t have to follow you. In my opinion, you live daily with autism and Aspergers in your life and therefore have every right to voice your opinion and use the words that best suit your son and you. You are kind, generous and thoughtful and that comes across in every post you write ❤️❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Claire ❤️❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
I know those voices. They have been a constant companion since my husband died suddenly four years ago. More joined them when I lost my job and the virus thing created all this fear and insanity. I too, look at things I’ve done and thought them not enough. The thing is, as we fight against them, each victory, we are stronger, better, more understanding of our own pain. As Claire147 said, write for YOU. Share You, it is in the sharing of ourselves, that others who may be facing the same demons see that success is possible. They are not alone, it is not something no one understands but them. Share your heart, for it is beautiful.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is. I’ve taking much strength from others xx
LikeLike
Depression sucks big time. I wrote about that several months ago. Know I am by your side! ((Hugs))
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you x
LikeLiked by 1 person
You can do this. Don’t let the black dog bite you. Remember, you have friends here. Lots of friends and you are not troubling any of us to write how you feel.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I really appreciate them x
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well I mean it, okay.?
LikeLiked by 1 person
❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are not alone. I speak to so many here who are in utter despair. One of my own daughters has been in terrible despair. So keep fighting the good fight x
LikeLiked by 1 person
I will try. So sorry about your daughter. xxxx
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re so right that depression makes it a struggle to let some thoughts go. We CAN do this. We can. Stay out of the rain. ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
We can both stay out of the rain ❤️
LikeLike
And we will. 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
We so will 🤗
LikeLiked by 1 person
Keep writing and keep reaching out. You’ve got a big community out here providing virtual arms of support.
LikeLike
I will
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve done that a lot too. I’m sorry you’re in the depression spiral. I hope you wake up one morn soon, and find you’ve magically snapped out of it.
LikeLiked by 2 people
🙏
LikeLike
You can and you will Gary. Writing things down always helps me. It’s up to us if we post or trash.
There is a lot of support here so you are not alone.
LikeLiked by 1 person
There so is
LikeLiked by 1 person
❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙏
LikeLiked by 1 person
Take a tip from the digger? Go out and dig a hole until you’re exhausted and thinking of nothing about how silly it was to do so and what should you do with it. Maybe your little friend is taking out his frustrations too.
Sent from Yahoo Mail for iPad
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes that works. Might as well,as the dog and mole do it already.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi! Hope you soon feel better. I love the photograph!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you
LikeLiked by 1 person
Don’t we all know the feeling of being unsure of ourselves? Well, maybe not everyone. I get it. Take for instance, last week someone said they wanted a photo of me to do a thing on the work online thingy and did I have a photo on my phone? I was all “Nope, I use my phone like a brick”. So I just let them take a photo. I was immediately then thinking “Shit!” ~ “Shit!!” (what was I thinking straight after a shift in full PPE?). Anyways, it took loads of “Get over yourself!” because sharing, right?
LikeLiked by 1 person
We’re all nobody, but us nobodies together are something special. 🌍 Share with all the spelliong miscakes stil in.
LikeLike
Ok
LikeLike
I banned photos of me at work.
LikeLike
I discussed my feelings about the photo taking with a friend, who asked me if I thought photos took away part of my soul. So all I could think of then was when someone put an [ R ] in the middle of the sign at the Narberth chip shop. Which is my usual random. https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@51.7980454,-4.7430383,3a,37.5y,192.06h,88.36t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1s0x01HobCsjaFNcCA5zyXpA!2e0!7i16384!8i8192
LikeLike
You can do this! 👍
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙏
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your autism post was fine. Try not to listen to the Depression Monster👹 I’ve been there myself, too many times to count.
You may be physically isolated, but you are never alone, my friend! We got you! And yes we can do this!
Just like Bob The Builder
“YES, WE CAN!”😉
💌💌💌💌💌💌💌💌💌💌💌💌💌💌💌💌💌💌💌💌💌💌💌💌💌💌💌💌💌💌💌💌
Extra hugs!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes we can ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ hugs to you my friend. Hope it was more sleep than usual last night.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Familiar territory…I do the same and doubt myself constantly. Depression sucks. But those of us who are lucky have periods where it lightens up. Hope your light returns soon. XXXXX
LikeLiked by 2 people
They will xxx
LikeLike
🙏❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
❤️
LikeLike
Depression is pretty wide-spread, especially so right now. Even though vaccines are being rolled out around the globe it will not take away the months and months of loneliness and extra stress this pandemic caused. And for many of us already dealing with regular bouts with depression it seems like a double whammy. You’ve had a lot on your plate for a very long time so please go easy on your self. You are an awesome Dad, a wonderful writer, and a lovely human being. Hang in there, there’s always a bend in the road.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You hang in there as well x
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am trying! Thanks hon. ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
ONE OF US! ONE OF US! We never stop taking care of one of us!
LikeLiked by 2 people
We don’t 🤗
LikeLiked by 1 person
You have my sympathy. I’m bipolar. The manic side can be crazy creative, but the depressive side can kill any good idea that wanders through. Hope it improves soon.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you x
LikeLike
May you retain faith in what you have to offer.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I hope so
LikeLiked by 1 person
Popping on to remind you how well you are doing!!
LikeLike
Thank you. That means so much to me x
LikeLiked by 1 person