The first thunderstorm of the season and wow it was a big one. They don’t often get this close, usually the follow the river out to see. This one headed straight over head.

As a child I loved thunderstorms. Would sit outside and watch the free show.

It’s different now. Hawklad hates them. They add a level of unwanted unpredictability into his world. Something he can do without. So now I wish they quickly pass by but a part of me still loves the excitement they bring. But got to adapt. Have to be mindful.

Sadly being mindful doesn’t seem to be a universal quality. Going back to my childhood I remember a kid in my class who was petrified of lightning. One day a storm passed over the school and he freaked out. The teacher simple dragged him out of class and made him stand in the playground. Tough medicine….. At the same school I was petrified of water. On my first swimming lesson I refused to get into the pool , so the instructor pushed me in. Tough medicine.

A different time but still no wrong.

Sadly it still goes on. I’ve seen it in some teachers and parents and how they ‘care’ for some pupils. How they have reacted to Hawklad. Maybe not as obvious but it still happens. Some children have problems with the texture, taste or look of certain foods. Hawklad just won’t try certain foods. But I still hear the old approach ‘well just let him starve, he will get hungry and he will eventually eat the food item’.

Hawklad struggles with meeting new people. He needs to sit with people he feels comfortable with. Change that and he can freeze up. When teachers become aware of it some work round it, are supportive. Yet other teachers insist on randomly switching who sits next to him as this will be good for him.

When he was struggling to get his head round Aspergers and what it meant to him, he went through a phase of trying to hide. Always have a hood pulled over his head. Hide in corners. School brought in an ‘expert’, a ‘school psychologist’ who recommended that he should do a presentation to the class about Aspergers. Tell his classmates why he was ‘different’. Anybody who spends anytime with Hawklad will know that is no different than just pushing someone petrified of water into a 4 ft deep pool.

As a society we kid ourselves about just how inclusive and developed we are. Some amongst definitely are sadly too many are simply not. Today I heard a Government Minister talk about some children needing TOUGH MEDICINE. The years might pass but certain countries are REGRESSING.

58 thoughts on “Thunder”

  1. My son has always had this super incredible hearing. The slightest buzz or hum would drive him to distraction. I told one of his teachers, to make sure and NOT put him near any televisions (this was somewhere are 20 years ago so tubes and such) or ballasts that would make noise. My son can hear a ballast going back in a security light in a parking lot as we pass by on the roadway. Teacher called me in as she was having issues with my son. I asked her where his seat was..almost directly under a huge television. The hum that most don’t hear, was driving him crazy. That teacher did not like me at all by the time I left.

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  3. Sometimes I wonder if I’m on the Aspergers spectrum. Tough love definitely didn’t work with me. It forced me further into my shell. I didn’t speak for 5 years of my schooling. My teachers made many errors witt me.

    One teacher thought it would be a bright idea to play a recording mymom made of me reading (for the whole classroom.) That was such an excruciating experience for me. There were other things too. I can feel Hawklads pain.

    We’re matching socks on the swimming lessons. I was tripped under the water by the instructor because I was afraid to put my head under water. Oh, I went under thanks to her help. I also refused to go back to swimming lessons. There are definitely right ways and wrong ways to handle hesitant children.

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  4. I still love thunderstorms, although I no longer go out in bare feet and walk in gutters to feel the rush of water over my feet, although I must admit I’m still tempted. The wife’s objection to me showing such “childish” behaviour has put a stop to that.

    My most memorable thunderstorm occurred when I was about 14 or 15 when I, my mother and another sibling were admiring a very spectacular display of lightning from our front porch as it got nearer and nearer. Suddenly there was a sudden flash of light and a wave of heat and and almighty bang followed by absolute darkness and silence. My first thought was that I had been hit by lightning and had gone blind. I thought “Wow! What a story to tell about going blind, but the experience was worth it!”

    However after a short while I realised that I could see, but all the street lights and house lights in the vicinity had gone out. What had actually happened was that lightning had struck a stepdown transformer just outside our gate perhaps 15 – 20 metres away and the resulting explosion caused the bright flash and the heat wave we experienced. With all the lights out, the rest of the lightning show was even more spectacular. In hindsight we were lucky not to have been hit by any flying debris.

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  6. We rarely get thunderstorms. I saw one when I was in northern Michigan and it was a rock’n roller! Zeus would lose his mind if we had them, so I’m glad we don’t… mostly.

    Tough Medicine? I’d say it’s abuse, and bullying at least. Ben will literally not eat. I’ve seen him gag on mashed potatoes. He CAN’T do that texture. Not will not… can not. Sometimes people need a little nudge. A nudge, not a push.
    And understanding of autism is still so lacking. Our understanding, acceptance and tolerance as society is seriously lacking… and yes, regressing.
    UGH!! We’ve got a lot of ripples to make, don’t we?
    💌💌💌

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  7. I was so scare of thunderstorms when I was a child . As an adult I love them now. Especially at night and sleeping to them. I am so sorry that your son has this fear about them but you’re such an amazing dad on how you handle his fears. ❤️

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  8. I have a fear of thindrstorms and lightening. I am more tolerable on thunderstorms, but the lightening can still make me jump, or squeal and I jumped at the lightening last night, because I didn’t hear the thunder until a bit later.
    I do like to eatch though, regardless, inside the house.

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  9. The ignorance around sensitive people and anxiety astounds me. Pushing a child into a situation that is beyond their ability to handle, for reasons beyond their control (anxiety/sensory disregulation) is abusive and causes trauma. It’s one thing when a person/teen or adult wants to overcome anxiety and completely different when they’re young and just want to escape it. I explained my son to every teacher he had and half of them blew me off because I wasn’t a doctor or therapist. I don’t know if you have ever heard of a video podcast called Mayim Bialik’s Breakdown, on YouTube. She’s a neuro scientist (and actress) who lives with complex PTSD and interviews people about mental health. It’s my current obsession.

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  13. It is always sad to me, how these old ideologies find new (or maybe ongoing) places to fester. Very frustrating. Children really need to heard and seen for who they are in all their wholeness. ❤

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  14. It always depends, doesn’ it? I cannot remember the name of the woman who is authistic. Her mom made it an effort to treat her “as normal” as possible like going to regurlar schools and running through regular processes while always accompanying her in that process. That way she developed ways to deal with her anxieties due to confusing situations. She built a mashine that hugged here very very tightly when no one else could. Over time it was enough for her to hug herself. She went to university and became a successful architect. However, as I said in the beginning, it depends and every person is unique anyway even more when there is another challenge like Aspergers thrown in.
    Regarding thunderstorms. I LOVE them. The photo you are sharing here is stunning!

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      1. I remember the name of the woman: Temple Grandin. I just saw that Anthony Hopkins has Aspergers too. And also Einstein. I had no idea.
        Oh, yes, some thunderstorms are so awesome. It can’t get too black, too stormy, to loud… call me crazy and weird, but I love it when nature unleashes its forces… as long as I am safe… hehe.

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      5. It was lovely in the morning but from noon on we have had rain again and it might stay like this for… uhm… the coming 10 days (at least) 🤷‍♀️

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  15. It’s because they are too lazy and too self involved to care or try to help. Tough medicine be damned. It just makes you curl up inside and your particular fear solidifies. If you decide to be a teacher, you have to be ready to help all kids, not just the ones who make your life easier. It’s very hard, I’m sure, but then get different job.

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  16. Do you think it’s that neuro-typical people won’t look at what it’s like to be neuro-diverse? My adopted son was one of the first wave of babies born to crack cocaine addicted moms, and that definitely changed his wiring. He was so overwhelmed by sight and sound, also the food texture issue. Plus extremely hyperactive. School was a shite-show as you can imagine! Some were willing to help him, some wanted to shape him to their mold….

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