Hawklad has always struggled with his fine motor skills. It is a condition frequently accompanying Aspergers and Autism. With Hawklad this materialises itself in clumsiness, difficulty grasping objects and not being able to ride a bike . But the main issues relate to struggling to use scissors, cut with a knife, using a keyboard and with handwriting. He grasps his pen too tight and the control is very disjointed.

For a few years he received some physiotherapy to help with this but eventually when he hit 13 the service was removed as he was deemed to be above the need threshold. The assessment was carried out by a professional who had no never met Hawklad and was completed within 10 minutes. I had been warned that this would happen as a cost saving measure. The test involved a few random simple ball catches, standing on one leg, a few hops and drawing a line that keeps within an outline. He failed a couple of tests but was asked to repeat until he successfully completed the test. Basically keep going until he passes and then he is above the care threshold. AND guess what the service can be removed.

He has been without support for over a year now. I’ve noticed that he’s starting to increasingly struggle again with some basic grasping skills. So it’s time for trying to do our own DIY fixes. Bouncing and catching balls. Exercises to try and relax his muscles. AND best of all Lego building.

But it’s becoming an increasingly common feeling. Trying to provide support and therapy which surely should be coming from professionals. Certainly not from an unqualified muppet Dad. Sadly I’m not the only untrained parent in this position.

59 thoughts on “Support

  1. I sit here raising my hand. Me too. My daughter is 13 and is everything you said. And, I find my own struggles–ripping her away from her gaming (as she perceives it) to play catch or roll a ball back and forth. As parents, we do what we can do. And, I have to trust God to do the rest.

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  2. It upsets me so much to read about cost cutting measures such as this when there is a clear demonstrated need. While you may not be a trained professional, you are doing a great job with your dedication! 👍

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  3. You know as well as I do that some of the “professionals” aren’t that great. Especially when government contracts with companies owned by their pals🤦🏼‍♀️

    I’ve worried about Ben “aging out” and he eventually will… at age 23, from the school he’s at. Luckily they have an awesome O.T. who tries all kinds of things, and tailors her therapy to things Ben likes to do.

    You can help Hawklad just as well as the “professionals”. You’re an expert on Hawklad!💌💌💌

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  4. Have to disagree with you. Because of your commitment you will be great at anything you try for Hawklad, particularly now there is so much stuff on the internet to help. I had a row with a “professional” once when she came to do assessments on the farm. I just told her to tell us what she was cutting this time, as it would waste less of my time than the usual fannying around. Apparently they didn’t visit just to cut our funding…


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  5. Gary, sorry if this sounds like something out of the mouth of an idiot. In addition to what you’re already doing for your son, is he with you in the gardening, in the home cleaning and maybe in the kitchen too? Maybe it doesn’t matter if he can get it right – but the various activities in those places could serve as subtle therapy. A bit here and a bit there… but something attempted every hour…every day…. it might be way better than any therapy professionals could offer.

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  6. Sounds like the same treatment my Gran got when they were assessing her dementia. They came early, when they said they were going to be late. And she … didn’t lie … but has dementia. So when my Mum and Aunt rocked up. This person said she fine and she wasn’t even on tablets yet. Which my mum then had to go and get the tablets that my Gran was taking.
    THEN the cheek of them! My mum and aunt organised things for my Gran, and the freaking person put it down as if THEY had organised it. So my mum got a “How did we do” and she’s let them know, lol
    My mum and I are just sitting there going that I have no work, and can’t get work. Yet, these people can get work and keep it. What is up with that?!

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  7. In my opinion, having each other is more therapeutic than what any professional could offer. I’m dealing with some of the same due to Multiple Sclerosis and my family’s support is helping in an unmeasurable way. Stay strong and blessed!

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  8. and I fear as governments tally up the financial cost of the pandemic that supports will be further withdrawn….so sad!

    I think you’re genius to use Lego to encourage dexterity and fine motor skills. Hawklad will be okay because he has a super Dad for a parent. God bless you both. x

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  9. It seems to me you underestimate yourself as a good teacher or trainer for your son. My opinion is – for that kind of children, parents like you, and Love is the best treatment at all.
    Definitely, the professional people, who is involved in this process, are really important. However not all of them do their job with love and patience. In that situation they can make the treatment even worse. I can see how it works with my autistic grandson, who is at the age of yours.

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  10. I totally get where you’re coming from. My son is 12 and we are still waiting for an assessment for formal diagnosis . His camhs worker has left and we are just left hanging. Being a single mum trying to navigate his out bursts and difficulties with no support is challenging. All we can do is try our best .

    Liked by 2 people

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