Every year one of the great PREDATORS of our planet makes an appearance here. Forget your Great White Shark and your ‘don’t go into the water’ scream. Here it’s don’t go on the grass and whatever you do, Don’t Stand on one of these monsters.

Great White Sharks hunt alone, these beasts hunt in packs.

It’s not ‘You’re going to need a bigger boat’, its ‘You’re going to need a thicker shoe’.

It’s definitely an angry food….

So another morning of missing lessons and unsettling topics. Finally enough’s enough. That’s more than enough school angst for one week. For both of us. Hawklad was ordered to play on his new FIFA game (surprisingly he accepted that order without much protest). I went outside to change both blown car headlights. I know which task I would prefer to be doing…..

In the old days changing a bulb was an easy job. Open the bonnet, remove the old bulb, put in the new one. No tools required. Bask in the glory of being an official car mechanic. No need for that Mark 1 Escort Haynes Car Manual. People used to give them as Christmas Presents…..those were the days.

All those years later, all those years of technological progress and I find myself outside in the freezing Yorkshire rain. Briefed on the trials ahead via a helpful 10 minute YouTube video. A smorgasbord array of required tools crammed into my pockets. Years of progress mean that to change a car headlight bulb I now need to

– open bonnet

– unscrew and remove the front grill,

– remove the wheel arches

– remove the front bumper

– unclip the headlight unit

– remove the headlight unit

– unclip the broken bulb using a technique very similar to the sixth move of doom

– put on gloves as touching the new bulb will apparently cause a thermal nuclear explosion

– then reassemble the car…..

Unbelievably after two hours the process was completed. Ok the car might be out of diesel, it may well fall to bits the next time it’s reaches 30mph but at least the headlights are working.

Now to venture onto the lawn to pick up next doors dog’s poop. Yes I will be entering the land of the predator. Be afraid, be very afraid.

43 thoughts on “Predator”

  2. I remember when my ex tried to change out a rear light, but the mechanism was totally inaccessible for a normal person with regular tools. I had to take it to a repair place…

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  10. Conkers will keep spiders away Gary. We discovered that on the boat.
    As for next door’s dog poop, are you going to return it? It is getting very close to that here as the woman at the end of our garden takes her dog when she goes out to dispose of her empties at the bottle bank half a mile away. She has a mobility scooter and might give the dog a lift if it gets tired, but it craps on our drive, or the pavement in front of it and she doesn’t clear up. One day I am going to deposit it through her letter box.

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  12. Looks like kin to the evil goats head thorn, formal name: Tribulus terrestris

    They are nearly impossible to get rid of, the can poke through shoes if the sole isn’t thick enough, they wind up inside the house, the bare feetsies get horrible ouchies☹

    Mother Nature has her cruel side as well 🤷🏼‍♀️

    Stay safe😉
    💌💌💌💌

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  17. College educated idiots design cars now instead of people who actually work on them and KNOW them.

    To change a heater core in a Ford Taurus you had to remove EVERYTHING from the windscreen to the floor carpet (including the steering column) just to get AT the heater core. (7 hour job) Then replace the core, Then reassemble the interior of the car.

    Time to get some real people in designing cars.

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