So Yorkshire has enjoyed the briefest of Springs. We are now heading back into one last crack of Winter. Even mention of an outside chance of the white stuff.

So before the poor things are battered into submission let’s have one more Daffodil Fest.

The American Psychiatric Association have now officially recognised Prolonged Grief Disorder as a mental health condition. Intense grief that lasts for more than 1 year that disrupts a persons mental wellbeing and health.

Ok.

Surely much shorter, very intense grief can send people into terrifyingly dark places. Those places will have a profound lasting health effect. That will have just as much impact on a persons wellbeing than the new Official Prolonged version. Grief is GRIEF, regardless of how long it lasts a person.

I just hope that finally GRIEF gets the support it desperately needs. Too many suffer in silence. What support there is poorly funded and badly over subscribed. Even when it comes to children the support is just not there. Hawklad’s Doctor put him on the waiting list for Specialist Grief Counselling. That was back in 2016 and he is still working his way up the list….. How many parents are trying to help their grieving child when they are also suffering as well.

Grief may or may not be a separate mental health condition but it definitely has a direct impact on a persons mental health. Looking back the only support I received was a 12 page pamphlet handed out by the Hospice. For too many that is simply not enough. It wasn’t for me. Hawklad didn’t even get that…… That’s an 8 year old who has just lost his mum. That can’t be right.

36 thoughts on “Daffodils 2

  1. I’ve wondered if the people who hand out “those” pamphlets truly believe they’ll help? I found a handful in the envelope of documents from the mortuary a year after Den died. My sis who’d gone with me to help with the arrangements said the funeral director gave them to me, explaining each one in detail.

    I don’t remember any of that.

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  2. Thanks for sharing this window into grief Gary. I remember the day I told my counselor to stop asking me questions that were designed to diagnose me for a mean name. Anything that ends in “disorder”, is rude as far as I’m concerned. I believe in the idea of “cada cabeza un mundo”, or each brain a world unto itself. I love that you’re indignant for the care your son isn’t receiving. That bodes well for both of your grieving processes in my book. Please consider editing the 10th word of your article to “could”…or even stronger, “will”.

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  3. The daffodils are beautiful, Gary. Thanks for continuing to share them.

    I’m very sorry for how challenging it must be to manage and support Hawklad but also yourself through the grief process. We really do need more resources especially for struggling families and individuals. 🙏

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  4. Absolutely love the daffodils! Thanks for brightening my morning!

    But OH GOSH on that being all the help you and Hawklad got, I am so sorry!! A big hug for both of you and you are amazing Gary, in the way you have risen and been there for Hawklad amidst your grief. Its not about having bad days, I am sure you both have had many, but its about continuing to rise! Keep shining! ❤

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  5. Daffy’s are so happy.
    Intense grief. almost 6 years later. If you count back to the day we were told? 8 years.
    Ya. It happens.
    Why anyone would think you can ‘get over’ the death of the love of your life in a short time is loopy.

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  6. Grief is such an individual thing. I think the best we can do is learn guidelines that may help us deal with it, but for a child losing a parent is a whole trauma as well as grief. I wish there was more support for you both.

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      1. I totally got you. That is what I cannot understand. A good phaysical AND mental health (plus a supportive school system) are the foundation of a successful country!

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  7. You and Hawklad came to mind when I read the news about Prolonged Grief Disorder as a mental health condition. The health system has failed you both and only the gods know how many other individuals. Today is a new day for you both. What a gift of beauty from Mother Earth! A reminder of the natural cycle of loss and rebirth.

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