Meet my new Garden Helper. She hasn’t quite worked out that green waste goes directly into the brown bin….
I must admit that was just about beyond me today. Should it go in the green or brown bin, the recycling containers or the compost heap….. I’m clueless today. Lack of sleep and the second vaccine doesn’t help. So today was a struggle. Trying to stay awake, trying to think, trying to work, trying to be a parent. Today was hard work. Very few smiles. A survival far.
But at 12.40am I’m still here. I’ve not burnt the house down. Not crashed the car. Ok I did drop the mobile and cracked the screen. But I got through the day. Now tomorrow is almost here. New start. New hope. Another chance.
Maybe me and that cow can even figure out the recycling ……
Apparently Hawklad missed 6 exams last week. That’s a whole lotta exams missed in just one week. On the bright side, Hawklad did complete 5….. 5 out of 11 is almost a pass.
Hawklad completed those 5 exams because the teacher or teaching assistant emailed him the paper. In the 6 he missed something didn’t happen and I just can’t put my finger on what didn’t happen…. Can you.
What happens next is anyone’s guess. The teachers are now tied up in the year above mock exams. It’s another mess. We bury will be so glad to see the back of this school year.
Tonight I was going to prattle on about loss and time. But the all seeing WordPress app decided to intervene. After about 6 lines of text WP is saving text in what appears to be something resembling subscript format. So I’ve only got 2 more readable lines left to write in. The pressure. That’s why I was rubbish at Twitter. Let’s just say. Time is such a precious gift let’s try not to waste it. ……..
Colour has arrived to Yorkshire. Always great to see, it’s such a lift. Sadly it won’t last long and it will be gone for another year. It’s a reminder to me that time is precious. Got to make the most of it. Grab those moments. Live and not just survive.
Yes there will be darker, colder months. Those times will be more manageable if the gaze is in the moment or looking forward, rather than focused on what has been.
It’s early Sunday morning here in Yorkshire. My thoughts are drifting to another country. A little bit of heaven on earth. To one of the most stunning places on the planet. To Switzerland.
Switzerland is a country that has been close to our family for such a long time now. Many family holidays. At least 4 generations. It’s over 5 years since our last visit. One day we will hopefully return, currently it would just be Hawklad and I. A lot of life has happened over those 5 years.
Why did so many family members spend so many holidays here over the years. This is why.
99 times out of a 100 not being able to sleep properly is a real pain in the posterior. It really is. It’s been like that for months. Yes the body gets use to it but it does slowly wear you down.
But there are some advantages. The quiet at night is a blessing. Our world is just too noisy. It’s a great time to think and daydream. In those moments you truly realise what is important to you. What you care more the most.
You get too hear and see the dawn. The new day start. The morning chorus of the birds is one is the great natural shows. The views are stunning in that new light. Even views you normally take for granted become epic.
Loss is different for everyone, whatever the reason behind the life story. Each loss is unique.
It’s now approaching 5 years for me. The journey continues. Things change. Sometimes suddenly, other times gradually.
One of the biggest changes over that time has been with my attitude towards memories. When 2016 hit I truly realised their importance. Time can be short so it’s important that you create as many memories as you can. But here’s the thing, my mindset was that was for me there would be no new personal memories. Yes there would be new ones but they would be about Hawklad, not stuff I had done. For me that was it….
That’s changed now.
Time is still a limited resource and memories are still important. But it can’t be just about looking back. It is definitely OK to create new memories. That shows that life is not just about survival. It’s about LIVING, even after loss. So yes I want to create new memories. AND there is no reason that the NEW ones can’t be just as good or even better than the old ones.
You just never know. All you can do. All I can do is give LIFE a CHANCE.
Apparently I was wrong yesterday. My inner Lefty took hold and clouded my vision. I made an inappropriate attack on politicians who benefit from expensive and exclusive private education while refusing to properly fund pupils in the rest of the education system. I wasn’t the only person to get annoyed at that thought. But we were slapped down by the Eton educated Prime Minister. Children enjoy exclusive education because their parents work hard.
Many do. Can’t argue with that. But then you turn the argument around and what does that mean to a poor child in a poor school. It means that they should blame their parents for not working hard enough……
Clearly I’ve let my son down by not working hard enough…. That explains the gaps in his education.
I should really follow the example of our illustrious leader. Travelling 200 miles in a private jet to attend a summit of world leaders where he says he wants to talk climate change. Clearly getting a readily available and environmentally friendly train is not working hard enough for him. Treating himself to £13000 worth of gourmet food during the lockdown while refusing to give our poorest children free school meals when they need it the most is clearly hard work. Getting a rich friend to pay £200000 for a designer makeover on his flat while cutting 40% of the overseas aid budget is real grafting