When I was a kid many centuries ago I wanted to be one of FIVE things when I grew up.
Astronomer
Mountaineer
Professional Football Goalkeeper
Cricketer for Yorkshire
Train Driver
IT NEVER HAPPENED…
Actually never happened for clear reasons
– grew up in a town surrounded by heavy industry so never really saw a star in years…
– scared of heights with the balance of a three legged drunk giraffe…
– 5ft10 ain’t tall enough…
– basically crap at cricket…
– couldn’t ride a bike so assumed a big old train would be way beyond me…
No one ever asked me if I had any dreams , any hopes. Not once was I asked that at school. So my dreams faded. Never really had any more dreams to follow after that and looking back that makes me kinda sad. I was just expected to follow the path chosen for me and my fellow classmates.
Now Hawklad thinks I’m barking mad as I keep going on and on about him following his dreams. Him dreaming big.
And as the festive season approaches I might just buy myself a train set and do just a bit of that dreaming for myself.
Quality parking from the farmer, not many cars, or bikes, or dog walkers passing here for a while.
Some times you just need to pass stuff…..
Like a fine wine or malt, they get better with the years. That’s ME…
So NOT the case….
I remember a few decades back and a trip to the cinema was a pleasure and not torture. As many Kia-Ora cartons as my Paperboy job would pay for, not forgetting a small tub of ice cream if the person on the door could find the office keys. Then bring on the movie, short or long. Then bring on hiding under the seats at the end of the movie and then getting to watch the movie all over again. Never a need to bolt to the toilets, which was a good thing as the toilets at our towns beach cinema would often flood at high tide.
Photo from The BBC archives
It’s all changed now.
A brand new cinema has replaced the old battered Picture House.
My bladder has clearly been replaced with a small thimble.
Kia-Ora replaced with seriously overpriced black coffee.
Movies seem very very long and are now absolute torture.
🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽
Today’s Marvel Epic was just 100 minutes long yet to my lower regions it felt like back to back Gone with the Wind’s. The pre movie trailers had just about started to roll when the first pangs of regret started for buying a coffee. As the movie started I was shifting uneasily. Halfway through and I was seriously preoccupied with matters of state. And as the heroic ending played out, I was having an out of body experience. I now know how John Hurt’s character in the Alien felt like just before the pesky alien popped out…..
It’s exactly 7 years since we welcomed this little hooligan into our world.
For 2 months I hadn’t been functioning, I was a mess and seemingly unable to take control. It had just been over 2 months since we had buried Hawklad’s Mum.
But then in November I realised that the house needed more LIFE, more noise, rekindled fun. A mad puppy was the answer. And do you know what, it still is the single best parenting decision I have made.
Usually a favourite pit stop area for the mad pup but strangely not today.
On the path, a once clean golden retriever was proudly showing off its new caked mud look while it’s owner muttered something about her pride and joy encountering a garden hosepipe real soon….
A garden hosepipe option that isn’t available to our 84 month old puppy due to to some of his very own premeditated, over zealous chewing. Definitely lots of chewing DNA in our pet, way more than in me I guess.
I should ask my sister about that.
A few days back she phoned me to excitedly tell me about her DNA heritage results test. I’ve always thought about checking mine out to see where I kinda came from apart from Yorkshire. Well unless my sister has some dodgy results or if my parents didn’t tell me about some really important stuff, THEN I now have clarity. On this walk I pondered a shocking fact…. I’m not as Yorkshire as I assumed. My DNA appears to be only 50% English. Further my sister has been doing some family history digging as well and it looks like there is a lot of Lancashire in me. On NO Yorkshire’s biggest rivals, WE’VE had wars with them…. If people find out, I might lose my Yorkshire Passport and Rhubard Privileges.
Apparently I’m also 30% Welsh (why can’t I sing then….), 12% Scottish and 8% Scandinavian. Viking DNA is not unexpected as they did invade this part of the world. I might look quite fetching stood in a longboat dressed as a Nordic Warrior. In my dreams 😂😂😂😂😂
It’s been late this year but finally the trees have truly changed colour.
Change can be such a good thing.
I was talking to a mum who’s daughter goes to the same school as Hawklad went to. Hawklad is a couple of years older. The daughter is dyslexic with some specific educational needs. It’s telling that NOTHING HAS CHANGED. The daughter is going through exactly the same trials and tribulations that Hawklad went through. The School Approach and Attitude is UNCHANGED and as INFLEXIBLE as ever. It might be working for the School and System, but it’s still NOT WORKING for far too many pupils.
My phone camera really doesn’t like the dark…. It tries its best…..Sorry no glossy, professional photos here 😂😂😂😂 Being in focus is much overrated, that’s what I tell myself each day when I unfortunately see Shrek looking back at me in the mirror.
Unexpected bonfire night sky show, just when you think it’s been a quiet fireworks night. Especially as the public shows near us we’re cancelled due to flooding.
But if you give it a chance, if you look up ……. life, nature, all around us can be truly breathtaking.
It’s beyond me. It has been beyond me since 2016. I’ve tried every November with varying degrees of incompetence. Before then his mum would get it right each year. That’s either making her own excellent ones or remembering to buy them before they sell out. I’m still waiting after 7 years to achieve either of these.
This used to bother me lots. Just how much of this parenting GIG I felt totally out of my depth in. Trying badly to do things his mum would seemingly do effortless.
But you just do the best you can. Just keep trying. Keep smiling at the many mistakes and think maybe next time it might improve.
‘Dad that’s your worst haircut ever, wow I look like a cross between Scooby Shaggy and Krusty the Clown.”
Yes it was a bad one. But on the bright side, when he popped into a Halloween Festival a few days later…
“That haircut looks like something perfect for a Halloween Scare Look. It’s not out of place here, I can take my hat off finally….”
When did his mum ever get a Halloween Hair Cut, THIS RIGHT.
That’s a shed load of water heading towards the sea just a few yards further on.
Too many times in Hawklad’s school life, he came across an inflexible school system, setting him up to fail, blocking his path.
Two of many examples…..
He was struggling with French. The way it was taught wasn’t working for him, he was falling behind and getting really anxious. Parrot learning how to spell and read French for weekly tests. I approached the teacher to talk about this and our preference to try something different. A more visual and interactive learning App approach. An approach producing great results in some US schools for dyslexic pupils. We even offered to pay for the software. The response sadly predictable. No learning approach could be used that differed from the standard national programme. Even when I pressed on the fact that it just wasn’t working for Hawklad, it was a firm, he just has to work harder using the set learning script. In the end Hawklad was given just two options. Follow the class programme or drop the language course. So he dropped the subject, even though he really wanted to learn a language……
Computer Studies featured a significant element of learning and practicing coding. Month after month, trying to read stuff of a classroom screen then re type it. Get it slightly wrong and it errors out. A nightmare with dyslexia. Again Hawklad started to fall behind. Again the teacher was approached. This time more understanding but still inflexible. The teacher realised it wasn’t working for Hawklad and talked about in the past being able to try different things or switch out coding out for something else. But now the Teacher wasn’t allowed to do that even when the method isn’t working. He had to stick to the set curriculum. End result, Hawklad dropped the subject at the first opportunity…….
So many more examples but you get the picture. At no stage did school ever ask Hawklad what he wanted to do, what were his dreams, his big hopes, the things he was interested in. At no stage was the learning environment tailored to his needs or wishes. It was always, here is the education you must follow. What makes it worse is that this set education is ultimately dictated not by children, not by educational professionals, not by parents but by vested interests and politicians.
As a result far too many children are overlooked and forced into moulds that just won’t ever work for them. A WALL is built blocking the child from thriving, from enjoying developing, from dreaming big and for going down the path that works for them.
In the UK, in the STATE schooling system, far too often the focus is on the wellbeing of THE SYSTEM rather than on the interests of the individual pupil.
The key is that the system runs efficiently, can cope with limited funding and ultimately produces the UNITS the ECONOMY is expected to need. Not much mention of the needs of the individual child. Not much mention of the system going the extra mile for every child.
Am I being ……
Pupils pushed through one educational route regardless of whether it suits the individual. For many it’s never about how high they can fly, never about big or beautiful dreams, not about asking what the child what they want. Far too often it’s about what the SYSTEM decides the child IS.
A Dad trying to cope with the loss of his Partner and becoming a single parent. 