Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 40 Comments

Change

Sometimes things can move forward.

OK, sometimes it’s forced, but it’s still change.

Back to 2016 and our world changed. I remember being handed a help booklet with the Death Certificate. It explained all the stuff you had to do when your partner had died, how to arrange a funeral, possible help. It read like an IKEA Wardrobe Assembly sheet.

I remember reading the financial support section. It talked about claiming Bereavement and Widowed Parent Support from the Government. It explained that these benefits were available if you were a married couple with a child in full time education. In BOLD it said NO SUPPORT for Unmarried or Civil Partnership Bereaved Partners.

Fast forward all these years and CHANGE. A Successful Legal Challenge against the UK Government has overturned this rule. Now Bereavement Support has to be offered to ALL couples. So last night I completed the 12 page claim form, Hawklad is still in Full Time Education. No guarantees as the Government is trying to limit the damage BUT worth a try.

Better late than never…..

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 16 Comments

Frozen yoga

Definitely frozen and a poor swan forced to go on foot around the lake.

Definitely frozen as today’s morning yoga torture was performed in two pairs of leggings and three layers of fleece. Not really in the mood to ‘enjoy the deep grounding position’.

‘Let the head relax onto the inner thigh’, how can I relax when my thigh is convulsing like it’s been hit with a million volts and my neck sounds like it’s just snapped.

And how can I ‘with a lions breath transition smoothly onto the other side’ when I’m embarrassingly stuck with rigorous mortis rapidly setting in to my increasingly knackered and now badly deformed hip.

Apparently yoga is good for you….

It’s definitely good for letting things go. With me ‘a delicious downward dog’ is ‘my hairy backside ridiculously stuck in the air releasing fart after fart’….

Is it just me that yoga bullies….

At least I won’t need to take an ice bath to cool down.

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Woods

Blustery breeze, a few bickering birds. The only sounds here. PERFECT in this mad mad world.

Several power cuts over the last few days. Helpful test updates informing us that the power is out. Helpful text updates saying that due to the complexity of the supply problem it was impossible to provide fix times. Helpful text updates then saying the power is back on. Then helpful text updates saying it’s broken again.

But in the great scheme of things, it’s all ok.

Especially OK when it encourages trips out into the WOODS.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 47 Comments

Movies tell you so much

It’s a bath a walk these days….

Work Team Calls are always an experience, bit like bathing an 80 plus month old puppy.

Today’s work call was no different. An Ex-Police Officer was illuminating everyone on his new found movie philosophy. Apparently you can tell lots from the movies someone goes to see at the cinema. He highlighted that his cinema experience this year had been Barbie, Disney, Taylor Swift. To him that clearly showed that he had a teenage daughter. Another Ex-Police Officer then said that his cinema experience had been entirely Jason Statham related. To that our Philosopher pointed out that it shows an ex copper who missed his true vocation, in the FIREARMS team. Someone else was said to be a closet romantic.

Then it came to me. Pick the bones out of this list…

Napoleon

Marvels

Great Escapers

Oppenheimer

Killers of the Flower Moon

Mission Impossible

Indiana

Guardians of the Galaxy

Ant Man

Flash

The Philosopher smiled and stated. “Given how tight you are, to see that number of movies indicates you are on that tv contract which gives you free movie tickets each month…”

The absolute cheek… but annoyingly I am on that free movie ticket deal.

He might have stumbled onto something.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 55 Comments

Trains

A trip to the world’s biggest train museum.

When I was a kid many centuries ago I wanted to be one of FIVE things when I grew up.

Astronomer

Mountaineer

Professional Football Goalkeeper

Cricketer for Yorkshire

Train Driver

IT NEVER HAPPENED…

Actually never happened for clear reasons

– grew up in a town surrounded by heavy industry so never really saw a star in years…

– scared of heights with the balance of a three legged drunk giraffe…

– 5ft10 ain’t tall enough…

– basically crap at cricket…

– couldn’t ride a bike so assumed a big old train would be way beyond me…

No one ever asked me if I had any dreams , any hopes. Not once was I asked that at school. So my dreams faded. Never really had any more dreams to follow after that and looking back that makes me kinda sad. I was just expected to follow the path chosen for me and my fellow classmates.

Now Hawklad thinks I’m barking mad as I keep going on and on about him following his dreams. Him dreaming big.

And as the festive season approaches I might just buy myself a train set and do just a bit of that dreaming for myself.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 26 Comments

Busting

Quality parking from the farmer, not many cars, or bikes, or dog walkers passing here for a while.

Some times you just need to pass stuff…..

Like a fine wine or malt, they get better with the years. That’s ME…

So NOT the case….

I remember a few decades back and a trip to the cinema was a pleasure and not torture. As many Kia-Ora cartons as my Paperboy job would pay for, not forgetting a small tub of ice cream if the person on the door could find the office keys. Then bring on the movie, short or long. Then bring on hiding under the seats at the end of the movie and then getting to watch the movie all over again. Never a need to bolt to the toilets, which was a good thing as the toilets at our towns beach cinema would often flood at high tide.

Photo from The BBC archives

It’s all changed now.

A brand new cinema has replaced the old battered Picture House.

My bladder has clearly been replaced with a small thimble.

Kia-Ora replaced with seriously overpriced black coffee.

Movies seem very very long and are now absolute torture.

🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽

Today’s Marvel Epic was just 100 minutes long yet to my lower regions it felt like back to back Gone with the Wind’s. The pre movie trailers had just about started to roll when the first pangs of regret started for buying a coffee. As the movie started I was shifting uneasily. Halfway through and I was seriously preoccupied with matters of state. And as the heroic ending played out, I was having an out of body experience. I now know how John Hurt’s character in the Alien felt like just before the pesky alien popped out…..

BUSTING….

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 41 Comments

7

Has it really been SEVEN years.

It’s exactly 7 years since we welcomed this little hooligan into our world.

For 2 months I hadn’t been functioning, I was a mess and seemingly unable to take control. It had just been over 2 months since we had buried Hawklad’s Mum.

But then in November I realised that the house needed more LIFE, more noise, rekindled fun. A mad puppy was the answer. And do you know what, it still is the single best parenting decision I have made.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 19 Comments

DNA

The rainwater is building in the fields.

Usually a favourite pit stop area for the mad pup but strangely not today.

On the path, a once clean golden retriever was proudly showing off its new caked mud look while it’s owner muttered something about her pride and joy encountering a garden hosepipe real soon….

A garden hosepipe option that isn’t available to our 84 month old puppy due to to some of his very own premeditated, over zealous chewing. Definitely lots of chewing DNA in our pet, way more than in me I guess.

I should ask my sister about that.

A few days back she phoned me to excitedly tell me about her DNA heritage results test. I’ve always thought about checking mine out to see where I kinda came from apart from Yorkshire. Well unless my sister has some dodgy results or if my parents didn’t tell me about some really important stuff, THEN I now have clarity. On this walk I pondered a shocking fact…. I’m not as Yorkshire as I assumed. My DNA appears to be only 50% English. Further my sister has been doing some family history digging as well and it looks like there is a lot of Lancashire in me. On NO Yorkshire’s biggest rivals, WE’VE had wars with them…. If people find out, I might lose my Yorkshire Passport and Rhubard Privileges.

Apparently I’m also 30% Welsh (why can’t I sing then….), 12% Scottish and 8% Scandinavian. Viking DNA is not unexpected as they did invade this part of the world. I might look quite fetching stood in a longboat dressed as a Nordic Warrior. In my dreams 😂😂😂😂😂

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 19 Comments

Autumn

It’s been late this year but finally the trees have truly changed colour.

Change can be such a good thing.

I was talking to a mum who’s daughter goes to the same school as Hawklad went to. Hawklad is a couple of years older. The daughter is dyslexic with some specific educational needs. It’s telling that NOTHING HAS CHANGED. The daughter is going through exactly the same trials and tribulations that Hawklad went through. The School Approach and Attitude is UNCHANGED and as INFLEXIBLE as ever. It might be working for the School and System, but it’s still NOT WORKING for far too many pupils.

Change is needed.