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Storm Farage

A peaceful walk in a Forest. But it’s not always this peaceful. It took the Forest Rangers quite a while to deal with the aftermath of the last storm which hit the area a few months back. Lots of tree damage still evident.

In the UK there is a new word hitting the dictionaries. One which has several meanings. The word is FARAGE. Often found in the phrase ‘Nigel FARAGE is a …..’

FARAGE can mean to some – a wise and gifted political orator who is a man of the people.

But FARAGE can also mean ….

a Charlatan…

a Dangerous Opportunist…

someone who feathers his own best…

someone who tells others it’s wrong to be a part of Europe, has denied the right of his countryfolk to have free access to Europe yet keeps his own European Passport, enjoys unlimited access to Europe for himself .

someone who screams immigration is bad/foreigners are taking all our jobs, filling our schools and hospitals, YET is married to a French Woman

someone who bemoans Europe for how it’s wastes taxpayers money yet then keeps his lucrative European provided pension for life…

someone who is a fascist…

someone who is a racist…

someone who is a right f#@### w#@@#£#

The word FARAGE can also been a family commitment. Hawklad is one of those souls who struggles to find fault in others. Yet with Nigel FARAGE he gets very frustrated, very angry. ‘How can people vote for him, how can they not see through him…’

Once the idea of FARAGE being our Prime Minister seemed like a joke, but then we did get Johnson and Truss. Sadly now his party are increasingly winning local election seats. Unbelievably it could just happen. He could be in charge in a few years time.

That thought horrifies Hawklad. My thoughts are unprintable… Hawklad has made me agree (I didn’t take much convincing) that if that disaster ever happens, then WE will seek to leave the UK. See if we can move to say Ireland or France or Germany or Switzerland or Canada or somewhere that will have us.

All because of a nasty storm called FARAGE.

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Small city

Some readers of the New York Times will appreciate the geography lesson that went along with a recent entertainment review. A review of the Gary Oldman play I mentioned in the last post. Helping its readers they described York as a ‘small city 210 miles north of London…’. Maybe they could have added ‘strangely that the USA’s largest city by population was in fact named after a Duke of this small English city and a small English city which was founded over 500 years prior to that former small New Amsterdam east coast of America trading post was ever dreamt of’. Or maybe they could have further added that it was ‘a small European city which was once the political centre of the Roman Empire’. Although at least one Glossy Las Vegas Hotel probably claims that distinction now as well’.

There might be some form on those type of heritage claims… Trump’s Special Envoy has recently compared the historic and stunningly beautiful Elysee Palace to Trumps Mar-a-Lago Florida Clubhouse.

There are no words 😂😂😂😂😂

But there is a real point here. Quite a few of us often assume that our little part of this beautiful planet is ‘the centre of the known universe’, and everyone will have heard of it. It doesn’t work like that. Life doesn’t work like that. Billions will have absolutely no idea about a provincial small city on an unremarkable island off the west coast of Europe.

Today I was driving towards that small provincial northern city while listening to a radio news item on GRIEF. One recently widowed woman talked about the struggles she was having with banks and large companies, how it was a nightmare to try to change things like joint accounts and pensions. I can so relate to that, even after nearly 9 years and countless communications, still we are receiving letters addressed to Hawklad’s Mum. The Widow added that she often felt like she was going crazy. Her world had crashed to a halt yet when she spoke to people at the banks and companies, it felt like it was business as usual for them. The world was still turning and she had been left behind.

That’s so true, I so understand that. I can remember trying to sort things out with banks, I felt like a wreck, time had stopped, yet I could see and hear the world continuing as normal all around me. People paying in money, sorting out loans for new cars, new houses. Staff talking about holidays, television and nights out. Couldn’t they see me, but why should they. The vast proportion of those I could see and hear had no idea who I was, no idea what I was going through.

Only now can I truly see this.

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Oscar Winner

Not often do we get the chance to see a Best Actor Oscar Winner ply his trade in a theatre. Add to that, to get to see him act locally in a beautiful small theatre which dates back over 250 years. On Tuesday evening we got to see Gary Oldman perform his one man production of the Samuel Becket play, Krapp’s Last Tape.

A wonderful experience and Gary Oldman is staggeringly good. He chose our local Theatre to return to the stage for the first time in 30 years because in 1979 this was where he started his acting career.

It was a play and a haunting performance that made me think about life, some poor choices, missed opportunities and the realisation that time is a finite resource. At some stage I won’t be able to say anymore ‘I will get it right next time’.

Strange I don’t get these deep metaphysical thoughts when we see the Christmas Panto here.

It behind you…

No it’s not…

(If you haven’t seen Panto then that won’t make any sense….).

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Calm needed

A shed load of calming thoughts needed, a few minutes thinking Switzerland.

The latest madness to add to the ever expanding simmering pot of mayhem comes from the US Health Secretary, Robert F Kennedy. I can think of a few F words that would fit perfectly there. In his words ‘Autism destroys families’.

Absolutely staggering. ‘Destroys’ implies burden, something intrinsically bad which needs isolating and eliminating. Implies the desire to remove from day to day life. This kind of language lays the seeds for Fascism.

I’m sorry Mr F….. Kennedy, what actually destroys families is the lack of meaningful support, it’s the constant fighting the system, it’s the ill informed, hurtful and dangerous comments made by deluded self absorbed politicians. Sadly Mr F…. isn’t on his own in the political world in thinking this way, we have them here in the UK.

Mr F…. Kennedy you are so WRONG. It has been and continues to be the best ever privilege to be a part of a happy, loving Autism Family. Every day I learn so much, see so much beauty, experience so much wonder, togetherness and LOVE.

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Old music

I was in one of those vacant mind states as I ploughed through the daily house chores. The domestic zombie was just drifting through the preprogrammed cleaning, tidying and washing routines.

Glancing out of the window I caught sight of a couple of pigeons flying around the trees and suddenly I was roused out of my zombified state.

It’s funny how a sensation, a sight, a smell, a sound can suddenly bring back a flood of long forgotten memories. Those pigeons in flight had in that moment taken me back to the late eighties. Sat in my parents garden, listening to my Sony Walkman, watching scores of pigeons fly around the trees. Mr Cook, the next door neighbour, raced pigeons. At the bottom of his garden was a Tim Burton like strange, three sided, lob sided gothic style pigeon mansion. Get too close and you can almost taste those pungent cigarettes that Mr Cook was always smoking while he talked to his prized birds. The Walkman was new, well it was to me, it was a hand me down from my older brother. Sat in my parents garden I only had two cds back then. One was Whitesnake, the other was one of those random NOW this is supposed to be MUSIC compilations, a friend donated it to me as it was ‘crap’. It only had one listenable song, a belter from The Bangles, I kept playing that one song on repeat, watching the pigeon show.

Looking back to that former version of me, The Bangles music has aged way better than I have. The other thing is that my younger self was a tad mixed up. I had got use to wearing so many emotional masks to so many different people, I wasn’t sure who I was anymore. And WOW was I making some really bad life calls and yes making some really questionable fashion choices. Life was complicated, unfathomable, yet it seemed so simple to those pigeons.

Flying pigeons still seem to have such an uncomplicated life.

Today, in 2025 those pigeons had sent me to my record collection to find my Bangles album, to find that song. I’m still making life mistakes, still making questionable fashion choices daily. And now, I’m still playing that song on repeat again. Does life make any more sense now, not really but I’m kinda used to that now. If I still can’t figure out the washing machine cycles, what chance have I got figuring out life. Just got to keep my eyes open to helpful, guiding signposts. Maybe just like those pigeons today.

Do you know just how hard it is to photograph pigeons in flight with an iPhone. Gave up and cheated, much easier photographing them when they are feeding…..

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Made it

It’s that time of year when the Bluebells start to appear. We have a Bluebell Wood close by but today we headed a bit further. An hours walk over streams, fields and gentle hills. To a wood that we always talked about venturing to when we first moved here but never got round to it. Two decades later, much water under the bridge and finally we made it.

Beautiful walk but walking across farmers fields today bothered Hawklad. Just didn’t feel right for him, started to unnerve him. That’s the thing, somedays he can freely walk these paths, somedays not so. It’s not programmable, not predictable.

I was scrolling through an autism support website and a thread talked about employment. Just how difficult it is still to find employers willing and able to make the environmental adjustments and put in place the support individuals need to secure regular employment. Then for those in employment just how difficult it is to hold down regular employment. Many employment settings are just not autism friendly. On top of that, many talked about the unpredictability of work. Some days work is possible, other days it just isn’t viable. One young person described it as ‘some days I can walk into the office and work, other days I simply can’t get through my front door’.

Yet there seems to be an assumption at Government level, take away benefits and people will suddenly find regular employment to more than replace the lost benefits. Life isn’t that predictable sometimes.

Today we abandoned the farm tracks and walked along the quiet roads. That worked for Hawklad.

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Magical trees

The local Arboretum has over 7000 trees from around the world spread over 120 acres. That’s a lot of wonderful trees….

But we love one part of the wood fest in particular. The trees here have real character. They look like characters from Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings. Almost magical.

And if you look really closely, they also have hats…. Bird House Hats.

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Words

There was a time when our UK Prime Minister talked about the pressures faced by all of us. How we needed to better support those in need both here in the UK and around the world, support the disabled, support those struggling with Mental Health conditions, support those in work, support our pensioners, support our children, support families, support those living alone, support those in work, support those who can’t work, support businesses.

Now the words have changed, he carefully and repeatedly says ‘recognise the pressures faced and the need to support businesses and hard working people’. Some groupings are not mentioned now, I wonder why…..

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If only

Our modest village bungalow….. need to clean the brickwork…..

If only…..

Actually a pleasant walk around Castle Howard.

April 1st….

April Fools Day….

What’s it called when you think you have spotted an April Fools Joke and it turns out to be reality, no joke.

I had been out for a run this morning, which given the tight leggings I was wearing, probably counts as some form of joke….. Running back through the village and the Postman shouted over to me.

“There’s a horse in your garden chomping on your front grass.”

Yeh right…… not falling for that one…..

Two minutes later, I’m stood looking at our front garden and thinking…. Why is there a horse there eating grass.

Thankfully eating grass as just a few inches away was our daffodils and I think I remember that stuff is bad for them. Clearly somehow that horse had escaped from the farmers field behind us. I’m not really a horse person so was a bit unsure on how to encourage it back to where it should be. The kneeling down in front of it and shouting ‘here boy’ might work with dogs but not with this horse. Gently trying to push it in the general direction of the field gate (like I do with our pudding of a boy cat), was a tad unsuccessful. Ok back to dog tactics, wave a treat in front of it. A clump of grass didn’t work, a carrot didn’t work…. But unbelievably a Rich T biscuit caught its attention. Before one biscuit was consumed, the beast had shifted about 2 yards. Sadly about another 60 to go. I only have 2 biscuits left….

Thankfully the farmer then arrived having been alerted by the Postman. A few seconds later the horse was back home in his field. All it took was a few quiet words, a handful of seed and the horse followed the farmer.

Clearly I’m no horse whisperer and now I’m double checking some of the news items that I assumed were practical jokes. Trump as President and the Golf of America apparently aren’t practical jokes…..

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Same story

Caught the end of an interview with a UK politician who was giving his esteemed views on what was holding the country back and he specifically mentioned AUTISM…. That’s right along with Tariffs, energy costs, international conflicts, planning delays and the impacts of climate change, the cost of benefits, he specifically mentioned AUTISM….. He quoted the number of children currently diagnosed with autism and argued that it was clearly too high, and the rising numbers didn’t make any sense. He added that we weren’t seeing the same rapidly rising numbers in Adults…. And how far too many young people diagnosed with autism don’t get a job after they leave school, he argued reliance on benefits was a root cause of this. So if you cut the benefits available, more young people will enter (forced back into) the workforce. He concluded that the country needed to go back to some good old parenting with a sprinkling of tough welfare love. Welfare reform will over time stem the tidal wave of autism while reducing the tax burden on businesses and hard working taxpayers.

I keep hearing this argument more and more in 2025. Similar arguments are being directed towards a range of mental health and disability areas. Tough love will work and reduce the tax burden. One Government Minister even likened reducing disability benefits to cutting a child’s pocket money and encouraging them to get a Saturday job. Let’s not forget, Ministers usually closely stick to a script pre agreed by those at the highest levels of the Government. Those in charge don’t care or they are completely out of touch with the reality faced by millions they are supposed to be representing.

The reason adult autism rates are not rising is down to a couple of key issues. At the age of 18 autism support largely stops in the UK. Clinicians providing Child Autism Services do not have an equivalent adult service to hand an 18 year old on to. As a result large numbers simply drop off the system as adults. Relatively few General Practitioners (Family Doctors) have detailed autism training and it’s hard for them to make an assessment on the basis of a 3 or 5 minute standard length Doctor Appointment. As a clinician who worked with Hawklad explained to me, if an adult approaches a GP with an autism related issue, the busy GP will have little time to make an accurate assessment and anyway they won’t have any adult services to refer on to. So far too often GPs just end up offering some leaflets on mindfulness and possibly a course of Anti Depressants or sleeping medication.

That’s assuming that GPs are actually approached in the first place.

At school Hawklad was expected to put his hand up to get help with reading, or if he was feeling uncomfortable or struggling. But that meant announcing to his classmates that he couldn’t read something or having to publicly announce he was feeling uncomfortable, that was never going to happen. We might be in 2025 but we live in a world where way too many people have closed minds and the media still paint with inaccurate and harmful stereotypes. Autistic children still get bullied and pointed at in the school setting. Not only by children, sadly by parents as well. So Hawklad never put his hand up and the teachers assumed he was ok, the end result, he never got the classroom help he badly needed. Years later, he still won’t put up his hand with strangers or people he doesn’t trust. Even if he’s struggling, he is unlikely to call a GP for help.

2025 and sadly it’s the same old story.