You know it’s cold when you can step across ice and not hear a single crack or ice groan. Even having gingerly tottered halfway and inevitably hitting the ice with the force of a giant meteor about to wipe out the dinosaurs…. not the slightest ice indent.
Now filled with unbounded hope and belief in that ice, I visioned the perfect opportunity to excel in life once more….. I can do this. Sprint like a cheetah, build up vast amounts of momentum, jump on the snow sledge and majestically sail across the mighty ice lake. The first human ever to successfully sledge from East to West on this huge swath of lake ice (sounds way better than a big pond)… A cold Yorkshire hill, the theatre of dreams…..The beauty and grace of Swan Lake seamlessly combined with the power and agility of an elite sporting superhero.
Once again reality rips asunder unfounded hope….
A few moments later I’m stranded halfway, now face down in the ice and with the sledge riding on top of me. Going nowhere, unable to even get any purchase on my limbs to get up.
Spreadeagled on ice….. That’s probably a video title from the very top row section of Blockbusters….
It took me 5 minutes to find dry land again. It’s incredibly emasculating to be basically pushed by your sniggering son, helplessly across the ice like a curling stone….
Over the last few weeks we haven’t seen much of the sky. Mostly it’s been like this….
But when it has parted….
On another misty, dark day, we were heading back from the City and passed a stricken smoking car. Suddenly I was taken back years. Back to when I was young and Dad’s 4 wheel pride and joy. His MK1 Ford Cortina, 1% Silver 99% Rust and Holes. Top Speed, who are we kidding, there was nothing TOP about that thing. Stationary to walking pace in about 2 days before the inevitable smoking breakdown. I had completely forgotten about that Henry Ford Miracle and strangely I was smiling.
Maybe that caught me off guard….
We drove past a Children’s Play Barn, I brought Hawklad here countless times when he was a toddler. Fun times, so many happy memories. But life moves on, he became too old to venture there. The Xbox world became way more attractive than climbing around a Pirate Ship Climbing Frame. Now he’s doing College and the Christmas Present list is way different now. As I took another glance at the Play Barn in the Rear View Mirror, feelings of melancholy swept over me.
York Minster and the surrounding streets after dark.
It’s hard to avoid the countless city ghost tours, apparently it’s one of Europes most haunted cities. Any city with this much history is inevitably going to be on that list I guess. It’s hard not to walk past one of these tours and not shout ‘he’s behind you’ or hum the ghostbusters theme. The actors doing these tours are super talented and I’m sure they are more than use to that kind of terrestrial intervention from muppets like me.
I love the city at this time. It’s almost quiet, peaceful with the heaving daytime crowds having largely ebbed away. You can almost hear yourself think, you can remember, reflect. Recall a world which is now gone, feeling like it’s rapidly receding in my rear view mirror.
Christmas can be the most wonderful of times but it can also be the most painful of times. Isolation rather than solitude. A life that is out of reach.
That might make no sense to anyone not used to Panto World. A big Christmas tradition in the UK. Outlandish costumes, songs, dances, bad jokes, family jokes, some not so family jokes, getting as many children in the audience to shout out and get involved as possible. So much more, most which are beyond rational explanation.
The Panto at the old York Theatre Royal is always brilliant entertainment. The hard work that must go into this to be this good.
One established Panto Law is that if you are a Dad, don’t sit anywhere near the stage and never ever on the front row. As you can see from the photo I was safely hidden in the roof…..
At every performance, one poor soul is going to have the longest couple of hours of his life. Picked on during the Panto to be a part of the show. A friend of mine was asked to pretend to be a Lion from his front row seat and I once was subjected to a custard pie in the face by the Panto Villain. At the show we went to last year, one Dad was picked on and at random times had to shout out ‘words of affection’ to the Panto Dame on stage. Panto Dame is probably unexplainable, just look it up….. Looking at that Dad’s increasingly red face, he was so hoping the torture would stop way before the 3 hour show’s big finale.
He got off lucky…..
This year a poor Dad from the front row was picked out. Oh boy was he picked out. Initially it started off like last year, with the Dad having to shout out a few embarrassing things from his front row seat. But then….. He was donned with a costume, brought on stage, given a sheet of written lines and tried as best as he could to act. Not exactly Oscar level acting unsurprisingly. Very funny but the other Dads in the audience also sharing in his discomfort, that could have been me….
When he returned to his seat, he clearly slumped thinking the torture was over….I was reminded of that Simpsons scene where Bart says he’s having his worst moment of his life and Homer chips in ‘SO FAR…’.
After the intermission that Dad had to endure a few more thankfully for him, briefer moments of embarrassment. Then the Big Show Finale. The Cast are leading the crowd in singing some famous songs and suddenly they announce they need to change costume for the ending, so the poor Dad was pulled on stage and left by himself to lead the audience in singing ‘I’m Gonne Be (500 miles)’. Stood all alone on stage in front of the sell out 750 audience, with the cast stood in the wings looking on. Poor poor man. I have a weaponised voice but not quite as out of tune as this Dad. He gamely tried some moves as well but you could almost see this man’s soul leaving his body as the song went on. Finally the torture was over for him, hugs from the Panto Cast and a standing ovation.
I bet he never ever sits on the front row of a Panto again. I will look out for him in the roof next year….. Where the coward Dad’s sit.
Nothing screams more a festive morning without enough sleep than trying to shake a full protein chocolate drink without putting the lid on…..
It was all over the blinds, on me, even on the ceiling.
Definitely self inflicted sleep deprivation. A concert finishing in London at 11pm, followed by a 5 hour drive back to Yorkshire. Add another 2 hours for road closures designed to keep you from making any progress around the dreaded motorway that inspired Chris Rea’s The Road to Hell.
But it was all worth it. You don’t often get the chance to see Paul McCartney in concert and unbelievably get to see him play once again with Ringo Star. Duets via the magic of technology with John and George. Throw in a bit of Ronnie Wood and it was a truly unforgettable night.
We will even forgive Paul for playing that Christmas Song….
An early online college finish for Hawklad and off we went for an adventure. Into the mist and drizzle…
We found ourselves by the famous old fishing town, Whitby. As the light faded, the weather closed in…
Definitely felt a bit more Gothic Dracula than Festive Cheer, but still fun. On nights like this you can imagine how Whitby inspired Bram Stoker to write the famous horror masterpiece.
Finally a few signs of the festive period…
Could the diet survive walking past one of the countries finest Fish and Chips restaurants…
A few days later and a storm blasted through the area. I wonder how much damage was done here. Just a bit up the road and we had some wood down outside our house.
Some trees around the village came off far worse.
The tree busting winds from the North were so strong that wind assisted Santa has arrived 14 days early….. That’s definitely way too early to find that I’m still on the naughty list.
We arrived as the clouds started to roll in. The clouds definitely looked increasingly threatening as darkness rolled in.
Storm Darragh is coming.
Part of the Christmas tradition now is to visit the December Illuminations at the Yorkshire Wildlife Park. They are definitely the largest illuminations around here, taking at least a good hour to walk round. Looking at the forecast, wind and rain due to hit Doncaster just after 5pm, this year time was short. Maybe I’m old fashioned but walking around outside illuminations works way better when you’re not dripping wet and frozen.
We made it to the last section before the heavens opened up. I really felt for the families (lots of them) arriving as we headed out to find warming hot drinks and food. There would be no cover whatsoever for them on their 2 mile trek from the now set in wind and rain. I so hope they could still enjoy the experience, we definitely did.
We were so lucky to get to see the lights as the site was closed today on weather safety grounds.
A Dad trying to cope with the loss of his Partner and becoming a single parent. 