Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 22 Comments

The Wall – disc two

That’s a shed load of water heading towards the sea just a few yards further on.

Too many times in Hawklad’s school life, he came across an inflexible school system, setting him up to fail, blocking his path.

Two of many examples…..

He was struggling with French. The way it was taught wasn’t working for him, he was falling behind and getting really anxious. Parrot learning how to spell and read French for weekly tests. I approached the teacher to talk about this and our preference to try something different. A more visual and interactive learning App approach. An approach producing great results in some US schools for dyslexic pupils. We even offered to pay for the software. The response sadly predictable. No learning approach could be used that differed from the standard national programme. Even when I pressed on the fact that it just wasn’t working for Hawklad, it was a firm, he just has to work harder using the set learning script. In the end Hawklad was given just two options. Follow the class programme or drop the language course. So he dropped the subject, even though he really wanted to learn a language……

Computer Studies featured a significant element of learning and practicing coding. Month after month, trying to read stuff of a classroom screen then re type it. Get it slightly wrong and it errors out. A nightmare with dyslexia. Again Hawklad started to fall behind. Again the teacher was approached. This time more understanding but still inflexible. The teacher realised it wasn’t working for Hawklad and talked about in the past being able to try different things or switch out coding out for something else. But now the Teacher wasn’t allowed to do that even when the method isn’t working. He had to stick to the set curriculum. End result, Hawklad dropped the subject at the first opportunity…….

So many more examples but you get the picture. At no stage did school ever ask Hawklad what he wanted to do, what were his dreams, his big hopes, the things he was interested in. At no stage was the learning environment tailored to his needs or wishes. It was always, here is the education you must follow. What makes it worse is that this set education is ultimately dictated not by children, not by educational professionals, not by parents but by vested interests and politicians.

As a result far too many children are overlooked and forced into moulds that just won’t ever work for them. A WALL is built blocking the child from thriving, from enjoying developing, from dreaming big and for going down the path that works for them.

This has to CHANGE, that WALL has to come down.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 40 Comments

The Wall – disc one

Our little bungalow needed a small water feature.

Please someone tell my I’m wrong…..

In the UK, in the STATE schooling system, far too often the focus is on the wellbeing of THE SYSTEM rather than on the interests of the individual pupil.

The key is that the system runs efficiently, can cope with limited funding and ultimately produces the UNITS the ECONOMY is expected to need. Not much mention of the needs of the individual child. Not much mention of the system going the extra mile for every child.

Am I being ……

Pupils pushed through one educational route regardless of whether it suits the individual. For many it’s never about how high they can fly, never about big or beautiful dreams, not about asking what the child what they want. Far too often it’s about what the SYSTEM decides the child IS.

Pink Floyd got it so right in The Wall.

Tell me I’m wrong……

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 41 Comments

Lake one

Ullswater in the English Lake District. The usual grand weather there….

About 200 years ago the poet William Wordsworth spent much time here, you can see why. A hundred years later Donald Campbell disrupted the creative peace by braking the world water speed record here, over 202mph.

When we visited Hawklad blew my mind, again. Randomly he started to list every top division football champions in both England and Italy. On the patchy internet I checked, every single year answer was correct. Staggeringly that went back to 1889 for England and 1898 for Italy. Even taking the time to fill in the key footballing history, managers and top goal scorers. How on earth does he do that, apparently I’m his Dad and I can’t even remember what I had for breakfast.

2019 – School gave up on him. I remember a Head of Year saying that ‘HE is low attainment with many special educational needs… there are plenty of alternatives for pupils who leave with no qualifications…. College isn’t everything’.

2023 – still on track for his goal – UNIVERSITY.

How many great kids are wrote off by the system when with the right support, THEY CAN FLY.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 55 Comments

Bad parenting

That’s a moody landscape, maybe it knows just how messed up this LAND has become. That it has become the LAND of BAD GOVERNING.

Every single day more evidence of corruption, lies, self interest, extremism, vacuous morality and staggering incompetence.

The Environment, The Economy, Education, The NHS, Public Services, Democracy, Governance, Law, Support to those in Need, Equality, Families, Communities, Futures, ALL being TRASHED.

But what do you expect when we vote in clowns and charlatans to lead this Land.

Case in point, The Deputy Chairman of the Conservative Party and frequent spokesman for the Government. Lee Anderson MP who previously claimed ‘Poverty in the UK’ was NONSENSE has now stated that….

ADHD is down to BAD PARENTING.

That bad science bombshell is news to the actual Scientists, Experts, Professional, Families and everyone who better understand ADHD. ADHD is associated with factors such as Genetics, Brain Structure, Brain Chemical Reactions and with extremely low levels of associated neurotransmitter transmission.

This bloke from the Government is spouting unfounded urban myths and conspiracy theories, AGAIN. This time by stigmatising caring and loving families who are just trying their hearts out and doing the best they can. He is trying to turn people against them. Divide and conquer.

As a parent who still lives in the ADHD world, I’m not going to take any lectures from this CLOWN. He has no idea, he doesn’t care but sadly has a massive ego and even bigger mouth.

Come on people of the UK, when the time comes, DO THE RIGHT THING and get rid of the Charlatans.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 31 Comments

Moments

Yorkshire has its moments on the peaceful walk front….

This walk had a definite start and end, the Car Park. Some journeys don’t have that luxury so how do you ever know when it’s nearly over.

It’s odd, I usually love this time of year. The AUTUMNAL colours, the freshness, the tranquil peace after the packed summer crowds – the new season arrives and we had this beautiful location virtually to ourselves.

Yet this year there is also a feeling of unease and melancholy. The shorter days, longer nights and yes, the feeling of increased isolation. Even family and friends seem just that little bit further away. I definitely feel significantly less prepared for that isolation this time around AND ITS NOT a surprise. For over a decade the focus has been on Hawklad and School. It brought purpose, provided goals to aim for, even provided a few too many battles to fight. Plans all had a set date, Summer 2023. All this was way more pressing than any feelings of isolation but now that date is history. The Plans worked but are now completed.

What happens next for Hawklad is taking longer to sort out than expected.

Currently life without Plans or more accurately, life while new Plans are still yet to be formulated. Without that immediate focus I’m kinda feeling in limbo. With me LIMBO is letting the mind wander off into feelings of isolation and melancholy. At this rate I might even have to sort out some stuff about my future, it’s been so long it feels like I have forgotten how to do that. At least when we know what Hawklad’s path is, focus will return.

But this time around, I also need to work on some plans of my own.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 38 Comments

When will it stop….

Famous old Whitby. Captain Cook, Dracula and probably the best Fish & Chips on the planet….

Ok, Deep Breath.

The so called UK Government strikes again. Several reputable news agencies are reporting that the Government has started work on cutting by a fifth the number of New Education Health Care Plans issued to children with Special Educational Needs. The millions saved by this cut are to go into funding tax cut giveaways which will be an election promise.

These plans are already a nightmare to get hold of. It took us 18 months of fighting, scraping and torture to get some additional funding for Hawklad. Huge numbers of children with special needs already fail to get any additional help and what help that has been made available has been significantly cut. Schools do not get enough funding to cover additional help and as a result thousands of children suffer. AND now the Government wants to cut even more, make it even more difficult for families to get hold of help and support. The very same Government who cut the tax on Champagne costing millions….

It’s a mess and it’s going to get way worse.

How do people still willingly vote for these Charlatans.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 28 Comments

Fear

Less than a month before Hawklad potentially starts College. A return to the Lecture Room (rather than Classroom) for the first time since March 2020. The first step to cross is the upcoming Exam Results then it’s hopefully onwards to the return in September.

But there is another huge hurdle facing Hawklad. His fears and phobias relating to health, disease and germs. The impacts are significant on his lifestyle. Inability to touch surfaces and objects. Constant, excessive hand washing. Need to disinfect furniture before he uses them. Frequent need to change clothing. So much more.

This has been part of his life since well before Covid but Covid’s arrival ramped everything up even further. He had been working on these issue for years but frustratingly for him, the fears are currently stronger than ever. Many are struggling with similar phobias, speaking with his NHS Professional, cases of this type of phobia have risen alarmingly. In addition there is growing evidence of some form of link between Autism and significantly higher risk of experiencing life inhibiting phobias. Unfortunately health and support budgets in this area have been cut by the Government. It’s not seen as a health priority currently.

The bottom line is Hawklad will try to figure out ways to survive at College. This doesn’t get any easier for him.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 40 Comments

Battle

As places go for a bloody battle, this one is rather picturesque. This one was definitely Scotland 3 England 0 but nothing like the Mel Gibson history movie lesson.

Deep sigh. The College Hawklad is hoping to start in September has been sending some pre joining information packs. They are definitely one of the better places round here for providing special educational support. But there is still a sigh.

I was reading the pack explaining how the College is really proactive with dyslexia support. Definitely way more than his last school. But here’s the problem. The College is forced to set course entrance requirements for Hawklad’s preferred subjects. These mandate good results in the GCSE exams which Hawklad had just sat, in particular English Language. The very exams that are most definitely Dyslexia Unfriendly. The exams that desperately try to penalise students like Hawklad. That’s Government Policy.

So it’s fingers crossed for the next few weeks, hoping the results allow Hawklad to follow his chosen path.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 47 Comments

Age

A bit of that Tropical Yorkshire Jungle….

We knew this would begin to happen eventually. Almost 10 years back, the first Autism Specialist who worked with Hawklad warned us what would inevitably happen. Initially he would get support from a number of health and education teams. This would last until he became an older teenager and then it would start to change. Services and support would then be withdrawn until basically he was on his own, with his only support system being Family. As the Specialist explained, the system hasn’t got enough resources and is continually being further squeezed. Support needs to be available LIFELONG but in the UK you get to an age when that support is withdrawn. Hawklad will then be expected to fend for himself come what may with only family to turn to. Some describe Adult Autistic Support Provision in the UK as PATCHY, others call it NONEXISTENT.

That is such a worry going forward,

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 25 Comments

Summer

Yorkshire SUMMER..

Proper WEATHER..

This is midday and it’s 12C..

We are most definitely missing the frightening heatwave hitting much of Europe.

So School is most definitely out, I guess it has been for a month now. But nothing official, just kinda happened. The fabled Parenting Handbook doesn’t really cover this, WHAT HAPPENS NOW. Like most things, I’ve ended up WINGING it. I supposed that School would be in touch. Providing guidance on what needs to be done with things like picking up books, passing on key records, returning school property, official last day when school is shot of the pupil, where to get career guidance, college help, exam results, who you need to contact if you have any queries about next steps, if problems are encountered. We just knew what day the last exam was happening. He just walked out the exam room and that was it. Well part from a Muppet Dad embarrassing him as he walked towards the car. Apparently it’s not COOL to stand precariously on the car roof and applaud while wearing a bowler hat which is at least four sizes too small.….

But we received nothing. I did email school to get Hawklad’s results emailed to him. The only other email we have received since his exams was a bizarre one about the School Prom. He had no idea the Prom was happening but a couple of hours before the Event, we received an email asking that if pupils attending the Leaving Prom were arriving in a TRACTOR, could the Tractors not drive over the School Lawns or Fields.

Glad that’s been cleared up then.

Thankfully Hawklad saw the funny side of things. “At least I don’t have to comb my hair… I’m hoping to go the whole summer without doing that “ So far so good in that one then….😂😂😂😂