Survival

These are real survival plants. Will grow anywhere. It’s found on the paths, driveways, curb sides and stone surfaces.

Dad have you noticed how often on the survival programmes like Bear Grylls, they frequently have clean clothes on after a night in the tent or sleeping out in a forest. The hair is perfectly combed and they don’t look like they have had the best sleep ever. Even though the camp is flooded. You can’t even look like that sleeping in your own bed.”

He’s right as usual. I seem to have moved from just needing a little touching up around the face in the morning to a full cement mixer and construction team.

It’s as if they had not bothered with the tent and gone for a good nights sleep at the local hotel.”

Well funny you should say that and Bear. To be fair to Bear, I bet all the survival TV personalities do that. Finish filming, erect a shelter then bugger off to the nearest hotel. Actually it’s an excellent survival strategy. Save the tent for when you really have to use it.

I remember climbing in Torridon (Scotland) with a friend. We got caught out in a dreadful snow storm. We managed to get off the mountain but were completely lost. The blizzard got seriously bad as night fell. Couldn’t see more than a few feet in front of us. We found a level spot and pitched an emergency shelter. We spent a cold, damp and very hungry night in that cramped hell hole. When we woke the next day we found a blue sky winter wonderland. We also found that we had camped in a field only 40 yards from a hotel, bar and restaurant. Drat …. So Bear if you want to sleep in a hotel, well go for it fella.

So while we are on the subject of survival skills…..

It’s Thursday so it’s time for our weekly bit of fun. Wow this blog certainly needs that. So let’s have a little dabble with Chelsea Owens and her weekly hilarity challenge (sorry, not sure that came out sounding entirely decent). This week the challenge is

“Your writing prompt?

  • “…[T]here really is no valid excuse for an able-bodied person going out of his head from being bewildered in the big woods so long as he has a gun and ammunition, or even a few dry matches and a jackknife.”
  • Use it or be inspired by it to write a funny SHORT story.
  • Please keep your response to 200 words or fewer.
  • Remember: make me laugh. I can’t see how you’d go this route, but please also keep things clean.”

You have till 8:00 a.m. MDT next Friday (May 22) to enter at Chelsea’s blog

A mouse took a stroll through a deep dark wood

Unfortunately Bear Grylls was in the neighbourhood

Eating a mouse is great television, so watch for the trap

The mouse is caught, consumed in one, the scene is a wrap

Now time for Bear to light a fire with only a wet leaf and knife

Then tell a story about how he is missing a comfy bed and wife

Time to build a shelter from just some twigs and his underpants

Now Bear shows how to clean his teeth using some angry army ants

Look to camera and announce its time to hunker down for the cold night

Then jump in the car, head to the warm hotel and really satisfy that appetite.

Welcome to…..

This was one year ago. A very different world.

Unusually for Yorkshire, it was a dry race. Usually for Yorkshire, it was freezing. I spoke to one rider who had just abandoned the race. She had ridden in races all over Europe but she had never known a viscous cold wind like that one coming off the North Sea. Welcome to Yorkshire.

Today the sun occasionally peeped through the clouds. But that wind was back. Wow it felt cold. Definitely a two jumper day. Earlier today I stopped my morning workout to fetch gloves and a woolly hat. I came out with them and a hot water bottle. Welcome to Yorkshire.

Today we had planned to revisit our ‘bringing the world to us’ projects. Last week with the help of a couple of bags of sand, paddling pool, ice cream and a seaside animal mp3 track – we recreated the beach. Today the sand was coming out again but this time it was forming a desert.

Dad its a bit cold”

I was ok as I still had my two jumpers on. I understand that’s common clothing for the Sahara.

Not really desert weather is it Dad. I guess we could pretend it was nighttime and the temperature had dropped to freezing. We could spread the sand on the ground under the car engine. Run the car for a while then we could lie underneath the engine for warmth. That would be the ultimate nighttime desert survival experience.”

Clearly he has been watching Bear Grylls again. In the end we postponed the desert experience. We will try again in the Summer when hopefully it will be hot. Well hot for here. Welcome to Yorkshire.