There is something special and comforting about slowly cruising across a peaceful lake. Calming, refreshing, recharging. Switzerland is the perfect place for those dreamy boat trips, with its stunning 1500 alpine lakes. That’s such an odd thought, a completely land locked country being such a water paradise. Bizarrely I also got to watch my first ever beach soccer match here as well….

Just a few days ago I was stuck in heavy motorway traffic, going nowhere fast thinking, where was my Road to Hell cd…. Sat in the car dreaming of one of those perfect lake trips. That’s travel, that’s living.

What I would give for a few water based hours this grey, uninspiring English Sunday. A drink, a fine meal, watching the world slowly turn, surrounded by The Alps.

As I’m writing this a long forgotten holiday memory has just resurfaced. A family trip on a steamer across Lake Brienz.

Hawklad’s Mum had ordered food in German to the waitress. A waitress experiencing her first morning in this job as she nervously pointed out to us as she took our order, potentially her first ever order….. Hawklad got his beloved frankfurter and chips. I received my healthy plate of chips with a cheese and calorie loaded pizza. However Hawklad’s Mum had a little surprise. A cheese salad arrived looking a lot like the full meat platter.

I’ve never seen so much meat on one plate.

It was quickly decided that we couldn’t send the wrong order back on the waitresses first morning, especially as clearly Hawklad’s Mums much vaunted PERFECT GERMAN was clearly not so PERFECT. So what to do. My idea of secretly hiding pieces of meat in our pockets was for some inexplicable reason, REJECTED. So was Hawklad’s suggesting of hiding the meat under my baseball hat. Hawklad’s Mum decided the best course of action. She would get the pizza and I gained a full plate of meat. My first meat in about 5 years following my trip down vegetarian boulevard. The things you do to maintain a peaceful lake trip 😂😂😂😂😂.

When his mum went to the toilet I whispered to Hawklad that actually my meat option was really tasty and I was rather enjoying it. For some reason I failed to mention that fact to his mum, sticking to the ‘this is a real struggle, woe is me’ narrative. I think I pulled the deception off although Hawklad might have blown my cover when he pointed out to his mum with a cheeky grin that

‘For someone struggling so much Dad has done so well to eat all the meat and leave nothing apart from the salad bits.’

BUSTED…..