Cat Stew

Sometimes wonderful views take your breath away. This was taken on our last holiday. While my partner and son slept I would sneak out for an early morning run. The run would take me along a path which ran along the edge of Lake Thun. It was just stunning.

Sometimes it’s other things that take your breath away.

Last night I had made a stew. I left my steaming plate of food on the kitchen table while I delivered our son his stew and 2 tons of tomato ketchup. Crash. On my return to the kitchen I had an out of body experience. We have a very accident prone boy cat. Yes you have guessed it. He was lying in my stew. Waiter there appears to be a cat in my food. He was covered in gravy and vegetables completely oblivious to the world. He seemed most puzzled when I pushed him onto the floor. He was even more puzzled and slightly terrified as the dog decided to feast on the four legged plate. My option b meal, a cuppa soup was far less appetising.

I’m still finding bits of stew strewn around the house.

Usually the dog won’t have anything to do with the boy cat. His bestie is the girl cat. However today it’s a different story. Now he’s discovered the boy cats talent as a mobile dinner plate. He is hopefully following him around trying to be friends. Let’s hope the boy cat has learnt his lesson as tonight it’s a curry.

World War petZ

All hell broke out today. Sat with a hot drink trying to convince the laptop that the Excel Macro I had just produced was in fact perfect and not full of errors WHEN

The two cats and dog started scampering around the house like crazed banshees. Chairs crashing into walls, photos knocked off tables, books sent flying. I found the Living Room in a state of destruction as if World War Z had broken out. Three pets clawing and scratching at the bottom of a large sideboard. Oh bugger have we got a visitor and it’s the hunt. Annoyingly the sideboard had a small gap at the bottom big enough for a hiding space but too small to squeeze my hand into. Wonderful going to have to move that 8 tonne chunk of wood. Have to try and rescue the trapped creature.

Could it be a scary House Mouse

Could it be a deadly little shrew

OR is it

one of these little plastic Dalek (Dr Who) megalomaniacs.

Yes after breaking my back, trapping my fingers and squashing my toes – the sideboard was finally moved to reveal a DALEK. Yes the little darlings had been having a fantastic time warping adventure game. The pets excitedly claimed the prize and continued the game in another room. Well that was 2 hours well spent. Unfortunately now the 8 tonnes of wood have to moved back and the pets can’t help because they are too busy saving the earth from a Dalek invasion. Deep Joy!!!!!!

Going Artistic

The sheep are back in the farm at the back of our house. As a result our mad dog has parked himself at the fence, getting very excited and wagging his tail. He’s been doing this for 3 hours and showing no signs of getting bored.

If it keeps him happy…

Meanwhile inside it’s the dreaded artistic adventure.

Dad can you cut my hair”

Trying to convince him that a trip to the hairdressers would result in a much better final product than the usual dad disaster.

No no no. I’m not going to have a stranger cut my hair. I’d rather take a risk on one of your shockers…”

So we started. I could feel my hands shaking. My IBS gripping my insides.

Dad did you know you stick your tongue out when your cutting my hair”.

I do it every time I panic. I also strangely do it when I watch my football team play.

“Dad you didn’t tell me that you had bought a hair trimmer.”

Didn’t have the heart to tell him I was using the Dogs trimmer.

“Are both sides of my hair supposed to match.”

Theoretically yes.

You don’t think you have taken too much off my fringe.”

Now you mention it that was a bit brutal.

Looks like I’ve got one hairstyle on the left and a different one on the right.”

Technically speaking it’s a highly scientific mix of layering and blending… Or just one massive mess up.

Next time do you think I should grow my hair long. Maybe I would be like Hercules, instead of being super strong I might be super intelligent or be able to read.”

I tried to boost his confidence again. I wish I could find some new words of wisdom. The words I use seem tired and ineffective. I also mentioned my experimentation with 80s metal hair. Unfortunately rather than look like a rock god I ended up looking like Cousin It (Adams Family). This made him laugh. That’s about the only thing I seem to be able to do these days.

Eventually the ordeal was over. Out of 10 I was given a 4. Which is 2 higher than the last one and considerably better than the 0 I got last summer. Let’s see what the dog is up to. Still sheep watching.

Dad that sheep has my hair cut”.

Sadly I agree.

Dad sit down

Today was supposed to be a full on work day. But again the Laptop had other ideas. Clearly it was an update day. Luckily my old tablet came to the rescue. A slow rescue but it was a rescue. I did find a use for my laptop. As it updated it got warm and a nice warm thing is too much for a dog to resist. So my laptop is now an expensive comfort blanket to sleep on.

When our son arrived back from school he was smiling. One of those smiles.

“Dad sit down”

No it’s ok

“Dad no I think you should sit down”

Ok I’m sat down, go on hit me with it.

“Well I tried doing the work with my left hand. It was bad. Anyway for the Games Lesson I was sent to a teachers room. I was told that I could do my homework. I told the teacher that I had no homework which needed doing. So she said I should just get a book from the shelf or do something educational on the iPad. I just sat and tried to play Crossy Roads for an hour. I beat your record.”

Well that wasn’t too bad, maybe next time find something rather than a game to do. Certainly don’t beat your dads best score…

That’s not all. During one of the lessons I banged my right hand on the desk. It really hurt. But the teacher just told me to carry on working”

That’s not good. I’m going to speak to the Head about that.

“Not finished yet Dad. They have decided which options all the kids are doing for the next term. I was told that I couldn’t do the option I selected because of my hand so they told me that I have to do another one. They have given me the Book Reading class. Do you think they have forgotten I’m dyslexic.”

The Book Reading Class for a dyslexic. You couldn’t make it up.

Learn Icelandic

It’s the morning after last nights anxiety vortex and the calming late night dog walk. Our son slept reasonably well, the dog extremely well. Me – not so good. Head is still spinning about trying to solve the educational conundrum. How to give our son the best opportunity to find his wings and so importantly take his anxiety away.

My thoughts keep coming back to home schooling but ….. So many factors

  • Does this just increase the isolation
  • Friendships
  • How to unlock the potential
  • Keeping open University options
  • Type of education
  • Support services
  • Finances
  • The bureaucracy
  • What happens if something happens to me
  • On and on and on

This morning another option popped into my small brain. I remember a few years back watching a programme about a family living in a remote part of Iceland. May have been on a little Island as I think they were hoping to one day have a Bridge or tunnel built to connect them to the mainland. Post and supplies coming in each day by small boat. Many of the community coming out to welcome the boat as it pulls in each day.

The family had kids about the same age as our son. No schools for miles. They attended a virtual school. Rather than the school bus (or in this case school boat) they logged into a computer. Lessons then took place online with a teacher and a virtual classroom. Webcams allowed the teacher to see all the kids and importantly allowed the kids to see and interact with the other kids. It looked fantastic. Unfortunately our Icelandic is a little patchy!!!! But maybe this exists wider and might be another option to look at. Head starting to spin again so it’s time for another long dog walk. Thank you for reading these confused words. Take care. Góðan daginn

Maybe I might buy a Learn Icelandic book just in case.

Boxing Day

We have had a decent anxiety free run really helped by the enforced absence from school. But the settled spell started to break down last night. The first indication was during watching the Jim Carrey Grinch movie. Clearly our son was becoming increasingly unsettled by the film (has seen it before and enjoyed it). To the point it was abandoned before halfway.

A few minutes later son was being sucked into the dreaded anxiety vortex.

Again it was concerns over school. Less than 2 weeks before he had to return to that dreaded place. Poor support. Too much homework. New Exams. Does he have to re-revise for the exams he missed. Doesn’t want other kids to poke fun at his dyslexia. Too many weeks until the next school holiday…..

To the backdrop of a repeated pig oinking noise as the dog happily played with his new toy we tried to talk things through. At 11pm we agreed to abandon trying to find a solution. Let’s just try and kick this into the long grass for the next week. Try to enjoy the time off. So we started a little game. The game is to try and guess the other persons answer to a multi choice question. The loser has to play bad tasting jelly bean roulette (a silly Christmas present).

If we won the lottery which of the following would you want to do first and which would you least want to do.

  • Live in the Amazon jungle for a month
  • Climb Everest
  • Go into space
  • Sail to the bottom of the sea
  • Drive around a racetrack in a F1 car.

We have until lunchtime to come up with our own preferences and guess the others answers. Which do you think our son would go for? Will report back.

But at least it has stopped the anxiety vortex turning into a full on storm for a few hours anyway. Or maybe it’s difficult to have a complete meltdown to the background sound of a pig getting repeatedly chewed.

Christmas comes early

Another trip to the fracture clinic and our son is super happy. Yes he’s still in pain, yes he can’t use his right hand but the Doctor has said the magic words

“I’m afraid you need a few more rest days so it’s another week off school”.

So it’s no more school until 2019.

To someone who goes through so much anxiety because of school it’s an early festive gift for our son. Does cause problems for me but seeing our son more relaxed – it is a price worth paying. More work can be done at home (updates permitting). The car will have to survive a few more weeks without some much needed and overdue garage TLC. Tonight I will desperately check out which food stores can home deliver this week. Like many kids with Aspergers a visit to a busy supermarket is hell on Earth.

So I sit down with a cup of tea and the laptop. One eye keeps checking out the Harry Potter movie on the TV. The pets come to join me on the sofa. Then it’s return of Windows update madness again. Surely we can find a more convenient way of maintaining our Computers. One which doesn’t stop the world turning. So so thankful my ancient tablet is not Windows based.

I am reminded of a recent conversation with our son. He was convinced that computers should be completely redesigned and remodelled taking lessons from nature. Namely the shark. Some sharks that live at the depths of oceans and seas, for example the Nurse shark, can drop to the ocean floor and enter into something equivalent to our deep sleep. But other sharks like the Great White can’t do this – they need to keep swimming. Our Son reliably informed me that much evidence suggests that they effectively reduce brain activity down to a minimum in one part of the brain while the other part of the brain continues normally. It could be that the spine which is responsible for swimming may have some operational independence. In effect part of the brain shuts down to sleep and the shark continues to swim. So we should redesign the computer processor so that part of it can be updated while the other half continues to work. Dual processors should easily facilitate this. Sounds good to me sat here with laptop displaying an “out to lunch” message on the screen. But it does raise the question how much of our lives would be transformed if we let kids with a different take on life start designing our world.

Anyway let’s watch Harry find the Chamber of Secrets. Maybe at the end of the movie my laptop will grant me a couple of hours operating time.

Nighttime Visitor

In bed waiting for sleep to take me off for a few hours but nothing is happening. So just listening to the wind and rain battering the window. Then…

The sound of pattering dog feet coming closer, quickly developing into sprint mode. In those circumstances all you can do is just brace for impact.

But not needed this time. Yes he launched himself onto my bed but then stopped a few inches from my face. As my eyes adjusted to the darkness a strange vision was revealed. Pup carrying one of his toys, a battered reindeer. He looked at me for a few seconds then carefully dropped the teddy next to my head. And with that the pup jumped off the head and I heard him sprint back into his bed. Few minutes later I could hear him snoring.

What was I supposed to do with Mr Reindeer. So I tucked Mr Reindeer in bed next to me and I suppose he slept well – certainly better than me.