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Panto

Back in 2015 we had planned to take Hawklad to the theatre to see Panto. Many countries don’t do Panto so here is a short Yorkshire Guide to it.

Panto runs at many theatres across the country over Christmas and New Year. Silly, family musical comedies based on Fairy Tales. Each Panto tends to have at least one almost semi famous TV star, one kinda local celebrity and a group of actors, with a few just starting on their careers. Cheesy jokes, slapstick action, catchy songs, big sets, great costumes and really over the top acting. Much audience participation, compulsory booing of the pantomime villain and shouts of ‘it’s behind you’. Some really unfortunate parent always gets singled out for much social embarrassment.

It’s still hugely popular in the UK.

Roll back the clock and in 2015 Hawklad’s mum wasn’t well which stopped us going. Our world changed in 2016 so no panto. Years passed without panto, then COVID.

But finally in December 2023, many years late and WE got to PANTO. Better late than never…… in York’s old Theatre Royal.

Hawklad absolutely loved it. Muppet Dad thankfully avoided being the unfortunate Dad picked on throughout the 2 hours show. Yes it was a truly wonderful, enjoyable family show. That good that tonight we are already booking tickets for next years Panto which is going to be Aladdin..… It took too many years but now we can’t wait to keep up this new tradition.

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7

Has it really been SEVEN years.

It’s exactly 7 years since we welcomed this little hooligan into our world.

For 2 months I hadn’t been functioning, I was a mess and seemingly unable to take control. It had just been over 2 months since we had buried Hawklad’s Mum.

But then in November I realised that the house needed more LIFE, more noise, rekindled fun. A mad puppy was the answer. And do you know what, it still is the single best parenting decision I have made.

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DNA

The rainwater is building in the fields.

Usually a favourite pit stop area for the mad pup but strangely not today.

On the path, a once clean golden retriever was proudly showing off its new caked mud look while it’s owner muttered something about her pride and joy encountering a garden hosepipe real soon….

A garden hosepipe option that isn’t available to our 84 month old puppy due to to some of his very own premeditated, over zealous chewing. Definitely lots of chewing DNA in our pet, way more than in me I guess.

I should ask my sister about that.

A few days back she phoned me to excitedly tell me about her DNA heritage results test. I’ve always thought about checking mine out to see where I kinda came from apart from Yorkshire. Well unless my sister has some dodgy results or if my parents didn’t tell me about some really important stuff, THEN I now have clarity. On this walk I pondered a shocking fact…. I’m not as Yorkshire as I assumed. My DNA appears to be only 50% English. Further my sister has been doing some family history digging as well and it looks like there is a lot of Lancashire in me. On NO Yorkshire’s biggest rivals, WE’VE had wars with them…. If people find out, I might lose my Yorkshire Passport and Rhubard Privileges.

Apparently I’m also 30% Welsh (why can’t I sing then….), 12% Scottish and 8% Scandinavian. Viking DNA is not unexpected as they did invade this part of the world. I might look quite fetching stood in a longboat dressed as a Nordic Warrior. In my dreams 😂😂😂😂😂

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The Wall – disc two

That’s a shed load of water heading towards the sea just a few yards further on.

Too many times in Hawklad’s school life, he came across an inflexible school system, setting him up to fail, blocking his path.

Two of many examples…..

He was struggling with French. The way it was taught wasn’t working for him, he was falling behind and getting really anxious. Parrot learning how to spell and read French for weekly tests. I approached the teacher to talk about this and our preference to try something different. A more visual and interactive learning App approach. An approach producing great results in some US schools for dyslexic pupils. We even offered to pay for the software. The response sadly predictable. No learning approach could be used that differed from the standard national programme. Even when I pressed on the fact that it just wasn’t working for Hawklad, it was a firm, he just has to work harder using the set learning script. In the end Hawklad was given just two options. Follow the class programme or drop the language course. So he dropped the subject, even though he really wanted to learn a language……

Computer Studies featured a significant element of learning and practicing coding. Month after month, trying to read stuff of a classroom screen then re type it. Get it slightly wrong and it errors out. A nightmare with dyslexia. Again Hawklad started to fall behind. Again the teacher was approached. This time more understanding but still inflexible. The teacher realised it wasn’t working for Hawklad and talked about in the past being able to try different things or switch out coding out for something else. But now the Teacher wasn’t allowed to do that even when the method isn’t working. He had to stick to the set curriculum. End result, Hawklad dropped the subject at the first opportunity…….

So many more examples but you get the picture. At no stage did school ever ask Hawklad what he wanted to do, what were his dreams, his big hopes, the things he was interested in. At no stage was the learning environment tailored to his needs or wishes. It was always, here is the education you must follow. What makes it worse is that this set education is ultimately dictated not by children, not by educational professionals, not by parents but by vested interests and politicians.

As a result far too many children are overlooked and forced into moulds that just won’t ever work for them. A WALL is built blocking the child from thriving, from enjoying developing, from dreaming big and for going down the path that works for them.

This has to CHANGE, that WALL has to come down.

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The Wall – disc one

Our little bungalow needed a small water feature.

Please someone tell my I’m wrong…..

In the UK, in the STATE schooling system, far too often the focus is on the wellbeing of THE SYSTEM rather than on the interests of the individual pupil.

The key is that the system runs efficiently, can cope with limited funding and ultimately produces the UNITS the ECONOMY is expected to need. Not much mention of the needs of the individual child. Not much mention of the system going the extra mile for every child.

Am I being ……

Pupils pushed through one educational route regardless of whether it suits the individual. For many it’s never about how high they can fly, never about big or beautiful dreams, not about asking what the child what they want. Far too often it’s about what the SYSTEM decides the child IS.

Pink Floyd got it so right in The Wall.

Tell me I’m wrong……

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Lake one

Ullswater in the English Lake District. The usual grand weather there….

About 200 years ago the poet William Wordsworth spent much time here, you can see why. A hundred years later Donald Campbell disrupted the creative peace by braking the world water speed record here, over 202mph.

When we visited Hawklad blew my mind, again. Randomly he started to list every top division football champions in both England and Italy. On the patchy internet I checked, every single year answer was correct. Staggeringly that went back to 1889 for England and 1898 for Italy. Even taking the time to fill in the key footballing history, managers and top goal scorers. How on earth does he do that, apparently I’m his Dad and I can’t even remember what I had for breakfast.

2019 – School gave up on him. I remember a Head of Year saying that ‘HE is low attainment with many special educational needs… there are plenty of alternatives for pupils who leave with no qualifications…. College isn’t everything’.

2023 – still on track for his goal – UNIVERSITY.

How many great kids are wrote off by the system when with the right support, THEY CAN FLY.

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Moments

Yorkshire has its moments on the peaceful walk front….

This walk had a definite start and end, the Car Park. Some journeys don’t have that luxury so how do you ever know when it’s nearly over.

It’s odd, I usually love this time of year. The AUTUMNAL colours, the freshness, the tranquil peace after the packed summer crowds – the new season arrives and we had this beautiful location virtually to ourselves.

Yet this year there is also a feeling of unease and melancholy. The shorter days, longer nights and yes, the feeling of increased isolation. Even family and friends seem just that little bit further away. I definitely feel significantly less prepared for that isolation this time around AND ITS NOT a surprise. For over a decade the focus has been on Hawklad and School. It brought purpose, provided goals to aim for, even provided a few too many battles to fight. Plans all had a set date, Summer 2023. All this was way more pressing than any feelings of isolation but now that date is history. The Plans worked but are now completed.

What happens next for Hawklad is taking longer to sort out than expected.

Currently life without Plans or more accurately, life while new Plans are still yet to be formulated. Without that immediate focus I’m kinda feeling in limbo. With me LIMBO is letting the mind wander off into feelings of isolation and melancholy. At this rate I might even have to sort out some stuff about my future, it’s been so long it feels like I have forgotten how to do that. At least when we know what Hawklad’s path is, focus will return.

But this time around, I also need to work on some plans of my own.

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Spot the balloon

In all my euphoria over Hawklad’s exam results (https://bereavedsingledad.blog/2023/09/10/bridges-2/) I completely forgot that I was going to get some party balloons for the house. When I did remember, well to be accurate, when Hawklad finally reminded me a few days later……

We immediately rushed off to the Supermarket but with perfect timing, they had completely sold out. Pants….

But sometimes life has a habit of trying to bring balance and so it did. As we drove back empty handed what did we see….

BALLOONS

VERY BIG BALLOONS

Lots of HOT AIR BALLOONS

Maybe not quite the same but definitely memorable and definitely less taxing on my lungs. Now play spot the balloons.

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Waterfalls

Surprisingly given the amount of rain, Yorkshire isn’t exactly overstocked on waterfalls. However over the last couple of weeks we have ventured to a couple of the local examples.

Not too shoddy at all.

There is one much bigger Falls just over an hours drive from us.

There is history there as well. It was the last place we visited as a family of three. After the world changed, going back seemed impossible. TWO could never be THREE. But now 7 years have passed. TWO still isn’t THREE, but now THREE is about memories, TWO is about living right now,

Maybe we will venture there this weekend for an adventure.

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Summer

Yorkshire SUMMER..

Proper WEATHER..

This is midday and it’s 12C..

We are most definitely missing the frightening heatwave hitting much of Europe.

So School is most definitely out, I guess it has been for a month now. But nothing official, just kinda happened. The fabled Parenting Handbook doesn’t really cover this, WHAT HAPPENS NOW. Like most things, I’ve ended up WINGING it. I supposed that School would be in touch. Providing guidance on what needs to be done with things like picking up books, passing on key records, returning school property, official last day when school is shot of the pupil, where to get career guidance, college help, exam results, who you need to contact if you have any queries about next steps, if problems are encountered. We just knew what day the last exam was happening. He just walked out the exam room and that was it. Well part from a Muppet Dad embarrassing him as he walked towards the car. Apparently it’s not COOL to stand precariously on the car roof and applaud while wearing a bowler hat which is at least four sizes too small.….

But we received nothing. I did email school to get Hawklad’s results emailed to him. The only other email we have received since his exams was a bizarre one about the School Prom. He had no idea the Prom was happening but a couple of hours before the Event, we received an email asking that if pupils attending the Leaving Prom were arriving in a TRACTOR, could the Tractors not drive over the School Lawns or Fields.

Glad that’s been cleared up then.

Thankfully Hawklad saw the funny side of things. “At least I don’t have to comb my hair… I’m hoping to go the whole summer without doing that “ So far so good in that one then….😂😂😂😂