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We need a bigger bin.

‘We need a bigger bin’ doesn’t seem to have quite the same dramatic ring as ‘we need a bigger boat’ from Jaws….

Houston We have Problem….

In the great scheme of things, it’s not an Apollo Spacecraft is running out of fuel level crisis. It’s not even anywhere near the patio weedkiller isn’t really working with the Red Weed from War of the Worlds emergency.

Ok it’s just a wheelie bin issue…

But a common one round here.

As a cost cutting idea the local Council changed our recycling collections from every 2 to 4 weeks. To be fair they did give us a slightly bigger bin but in the good old days, every two weeks you would just pile up all the cardboard next to the inevitable full recycling bin and it would be collected. Now if it’s not in the bin, it ain’t being collected….

So these days, after about 2 weeks you see local residents employ various strategies to fit more and more into the already packed bin. Some carefully cut up the cardboard into smaller pieces (takes them hours), some madly folding and refolding as if in a crazy origami tournament, others have bonfires, others just start cramming cardboard into the normal refuge bin. I’ve elected for the get the ladders out, step into the full bin and start jumping up and down to compress. I dread to think of the internal pressures being applied to that poor wheelie bin. You never see good old Dr Who having to do that with his Tardis.

Anyways enough of Yorkshire Troubles.

We clearly haven’t had enough Castle trips this summer. Let’s have a look at Warwick Castle, one of Britain’s finest historic sites. Brings back a ton of memories, I went to university many many moons ago at Warwick.

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Spoilers

After the final online lesson of the day we headed to the cinema, bit of a risk on Valentines Day. Even riskier when the movie is a romantic comedy.

In our defence Captain America was just too full for Hawklad.

This mid afternoon Bridget Jones screening was half full and we were the only males in Screen 3…. As we headed towards our customary front row seats, I couldn’t help notice the amount of wine and champagne bottles that I had assumed had been sneaked in. Even just a small glass of wine there is eye wateringly expensive never mind a bottle. I smiled as I thought back to my childhood. To my seaside towns cinema on the beach. I remember going to watch a dreadful movie called I think ‘ BMX Bandits’ and some nutter managed to sneak a bike into the cinema. Proudly riding round the aisles to distract from the dreadful movie, that kid must have had ginormous pockets to sneak that thing past the ticket collector.

No such wheeled subtractions this time.

We’ve both enjoyed the previous three Jones movies, found them very funny. The latest version is funny but also this time around, sad at times, painfully sad. Anyone who has experienced loss will need at least one hanky. Recently I’ve become way less prone to movie tears, but this one got me.

Sorry no more movie spoilers….

Ok confession time. As I felt the tears roll that I was really conscious of being on the front row. I was reluctant to show signs of weakness for some reason, really daft as I bet I wasn’t the only one. I slid lower and lower into my chair before trying to brush away the tears. What a silly sausage.

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Not raining

Scarborough and unbelievably it’s NOT RAINING.

With one finger briefly dipped into the water I can confirm that the North Sea is absolutely frigid at this time of year….

That was Thursday, Friday was way more misty. Perfect weather to visit the cinema, or as my Mum would have called it, THE PICTURES. Dear Mum, when she was young she loved going to The Pictures but then life happened and she stopped going. For many Decades….

She did go one more time to see The Horse Whisperer. She was rooted to her chair as the credits finished rolling, a little disturbed to discover that the modern Pictures experience doesn’t include a PATHE News bulletin and the singing of the National Anthem. I’m also not sure what Mum would have made of the movie we saw on Friday, the new Bob Dylan biopic. A Fantastic movie but maybe wouldn’t have quite been mum’s musical cup of tea. However we loved it and Hawklad shared a thought while watching Timothee Chalamet hauntingly accurate portrayal of Dylan. Thinking of Dylan performing back in 1961 (even before I was born….) and then realising 63 years later, Hawklad got to see him play live just a few months back. Had to agree with him, that is mind blowing.

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Election Night

If only elections were like Saturday Afternoon Football. Turn on the TV at 4.50 and you get the results. Election Night just drags on and on and on. I managed 5 minutes of the CNN coverage, that was more than enough for me. Why not just show great themed movies like Mr Smith Goes to Washington, do a 5 minute election summary and then move on to the next movie.

Even better idea, if you can trust a rodent with the arrival of Spring, let the Groundhog choose The President. Way cheaper, way quicker and way less opportunity for election fraud. Now that’s an Election Special Night I would watch.

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Lighthouse

The Lighthouse at Flamborough Head. Still going strong after 200 years.

I like lighthouses, they are simple to understand. You see one and know exactly what you are going to get….

We sat down to watch a movie last night, Fight Club. As I sat with my coffee I was ready for a couple of hours about boxing, maybe unlicensed, probably featuring an underground boxing club. Think Rocky mixed with Dead Poets Society.

I won’t give the plot away but how wrong was I with that assumption. It was like sitting down to watch a harmless romantic comedy like Notting Hill and then finding out it’s actually a slasher horror film set on a Space Ship.

After the movie Hawklad said that this time, the real movie entertainment was watching my increasingly confused and bewildered expression.

It’s just me, I don’t get out much these days 😂😂😂😂😂

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IF only

Walk around any store and look at all the food labelling. Detailed information and warnings on all sorts of things which these days means that you can try to shop wisely and safely. It can be done….

A really grey, wet and chilly May Day. We needed to get out so we ventured to the local cinema. Only two films about to start as we arrived. One about Apes running the planet and one about a big blue imaginary monster friend. Looking at the posters, what to go for. Well hardly scientific, we have already seen the Kong movie recently, that’s probably enough Ape for one year. The other movie looked quite cute and funny. Plus as it was rated ok for small children, it should be safe, untaxing entertainment, perfect way to vegetate for a couple of hours.

IF only we had more detailed movie labelling….. AND NO it’s way too late putting a brief disclaimer on the screen that the movie contains depictions of death, bereavement, adult themes, strobe lighting or whatever barely two seconds before the movie starts. If they can do it then they can do it on the trailers, movie posters or what’s on cinema ticket booth screens.

Ok yes, the movie had lots of cute, funny and harmless entertainment. It was a really good movie. BUT all sandwiched between a 12 year old girl trying to deal with her mum dying of what appeared to be cancer and her father in hospital facing the prospect of a major life threatening heart operation. Quite a lot of the movie was the girl visiting her father in hospital and being petrified of losing him as well…..

Definitely brought the occasional tear to this grizzled lump, Hawklad struggled. But was it suitable for really young children, especially those who might have already experienced loss. And what about the two poor parents who brought their really young children to see the cute film. One child had to leave in tears early on and the other had to be taken out to buy some distracting ice cream during one tough scene.

IF only those parents had some film labelling and warnings before they bought the tickets.

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It tastes better there

We were watching an old James Bond movie with a long scene filmed in Switzerland.

“Dad, even James Bond stuff looks better in Switzerland….”

I couldn’t disagree. That set me off again thinking about how amazing a life in that beautiful country would be.

Fast forward to early this morning. Sat outside with a coffee trying to cool down after more exercise torture. Yorkshire was grey, misty but at least almost dry. Did I mention that Yorkshire is great for COOL DOWNS, no need for ice baths here, just hot drinks…. Then a thought hit me, even the coffee tastes better in Switzerland.

Deep sigh…..

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Lane

It’s now been over two decades walking down the village back LANE. Actually it’s really about navigating the dangers, dodging the potholes. The many many many potholes, mile after mile of them.

In places it’s more hole than tarmac. During the day it can be bad enough but at night, on those late dog walk. Yet, over the years the myriad ankle breakers have become ingrained on my mind, almost subconsciously I now know which way to step, hop, jump and sidestep. Without thinking, without looking, I flow through the pothole dangers. Who would have thought it, on that LANE, I almost become a cross between Ethan Hunt and Neo. On that LANE I could be Mission Impossible, could be The Matrix.

Just on that one LANE, no where else. Which unfortunately rather cuts down on my movie superhero stardom chances. That would be one dull thriller…. THE LANE.

But then in other places, there can be more movie potential.

The kitchen destroyed another item today. Its third Glass Coffee Press. That’s on top of countless plates, cups, glasses, jars, bottles and yes even spectacles. You name it, the kitchen floor has destroyed them. Who in their right mind puts a stone floor in a kitchen. Such a defect, such a negligent act, that’s Towering Inferno incompetence. Maybe that’s the second, more marketable thriller….THE KITCHEN FLOOR.

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Bridge

A quiet old bridge on The Moors.

Spent about twenty minutes here without seeing another car. Bridges are so much nicer without traffic….

When we returned from our trip out, it was TV time. Hawklad selected a fine comedic movie….

Kramer v Kramer.

The comedy came as the end credits rolled.

“Dad, did you notice that Dustin Hoffman became a decent cook after 8 months. See single parent DADs can do it. You have had 8 Years and you are getting worse. It’s just not fair….”

Can a Dad sue his SON, it’s just over 7 years not 8…..

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Movies tell you so much

It’s a bath a walk these days….

Work Team Calls are always an experience, bit like bathing an 80 plus month old puppy.

Today’s work call was no different. An Ex-Police Officer was illuminating everyone on his new found movie philosophy. Apparently you can tell lots from the movies someone goes to see at the cinema. He highlighted that his cinema experience this year had been Barbie, Disney, Taylor Swift. To him that clearly showed that he had a teenage daughter. Another Ex-Police Officer then said that his cinema experience had been entirely Jason Statham related. To that our Philosopher pointed out that it shows an ex copper who missed his true vocation, in the FIREARMS team. Someone else was said to be a closet romantic.

Then it came to me. Pick the bones out of this list…

Napoleon

Marvels

Great Escapers

Oppenheimer

Killers of the Flower Moon

Mission Impossible

Indiana

Guardians of the Galaxy

Ant Man

Flash

The Philosopher smiled and stated. “Given how tight you are, to see that number of movies indicates you are on that tv contract which gives you free movie tickets each month…”

The absolute cheek… but annoyingly I am on that free movie ticket deal.

He might have stumbled onto something.