Spent about twenty minutes here without seeing another car. Bridges are so much nicer without traffic….
When we returned from our trip out, it was TV time. Hawklad selected a fine comedic movie….
Kramer v Kramer.
The comedy came as the end credits rolled.
“Dad, did you notice that Dustin Hoffman became a decent cook after 8 months. See single parent DADs can do it. You have had 8 Years and you are getting worse. It’s just not fair….”
Can a Dad sue his SON, it’s just over 7 years not 8…..
Sometimes you hear things that just pass you by. Sometimes you hear things that you think, that’s interesting. Then very occasionally you hear something that stops you in your tracks and you cry out
‘I’m sorry, say that again…..’
Sat in the Departure Lounge at Geneva Airport, talking to a Swiss Couple also waiting for the same plane. Two couples, two pregnant couples. The subject randomly got onto prospective child names.
“If you want that name then you better have your child in Britain. You won’t be allowed to call your baby that in Switzerland. Swiss Authorities have to approve names and have strict rules…”
Officially stopped in tracks.….
Switzerland, yes the country has naming rules. Can’t use names that might have a negative impact on a child’s future. Can’t use place or brand names. Middle names frowned upon as no room on official forms for them. Double surnames frowned upon. Some names changed to reflect local Italian or German pronunciations.
To be fair the couple did say things had become a bit more relaxed over the last few years, but rules are still there. At one stage there was even a list of approved baby names that you had to pick from.
Switzerland is a stunning, amazing country, it’s also occasionally just a bit barking mad. Coming from Yorkshire, I like that.
Don’t get many of these around here. It’s a FORD. It’s about the only time my car gets a wash….
You can see the houses still have sandbags up against the front doors. These days this lovely village sadly suffers from floods way more frequently.
Parked up in a traffic queue waiting to cross a storm damaged bridge, I unfortunately got to listen to the NEWS. MOST Unfortunate as it involved listening to the Government Education Minister trying to explain why more and more pupils are not attending school. Record numbers. Apparently it’s down to a number of factors,
Bad parenting
Immigration
Really bad parenting
Not enough discipline
Truly awful parenting
Benefits culture
Liberal politics
Moral standards
Monumentally bad parenting
Not enough Parents being fined for letting the Country down. Well over a quarter of a million parent fines just isn’t enough….
I guess I am one of THOSE parents the system has a problem with. Well as ONE of those parents I was surprised that the School System and Government Education Policy wasn’t mentioned. No mention of school budget cuts. No mention of the complete collapse in Special Education Provision and Support. No mention of NHS Mental Health Services struggling to cope with the huge numbers of young people crying out for help. No mention of rising class sizes and overcrowded, unhealthy classrooms. No mention of crumbling school infrastructure. No mention of rising teacher workload and stagnant pay. No mention of increasing Government control of what is taught, how it’s taught, how it’s assessed. No mention of the fanatical focus on exam results and discipline. No mention of the drive towards Victorian Education Standards.
Netherlands inspired Christmas at the local Country House. Maybe next year we can try a slightly downscaled version in our little bungalow.
Still the Country House is a good place to come when our village power is off, AGAIN. You don’t apparently get supply problems in Netherlands….
I was reminded that we haven’t been inside this place since our world changed back in 2016. We would come here often, then life abruptly changed course and our smaller family stopped coming. That’s been a common theme.
It’s been a while since I read Peter Pan. From what I can remember it’s about the inevitability of growing up and plans suddenly changing. Life happens. Too often losing our sense of adventure and missing opportunities. Losing confidence to LIVE and FLY. BUT IT DOESN’T have to be this way.
Trying new stuff is always a good idea. Well kind of. For Hawklad new stuff has to be carefully mapped out, introduced slowly. If you get that right then it is a good idea.
This time it was me that got caught out by NEW.
A trip to see some Christmas lights at Doncaster. Really enjoyable if not exactly very festive at times. A little more Lion King and Star Trek than Santa. But still good and Hawklad enjoyed it as long as we kept our distance from the crowds.
You can see the issue I would have later…lAt last a Festive feel….
So all great until I was dragged on this torture device.
I am petrified of heights, yes I admit it, that rather held back my climbing career….. Even a couple of rungs on a ladder is an issue for me.
This is way too high and most certainly not part of the carefully mapped out plans. Camera focusing is not easy with my eyes firmly shut….
Back in 2015 we had planned to take Hawklad to the theatre to see Panto. Many countries don’t do Panto so here is a short Yorkshire Guide to it.
Panto runs at many theatres across the country over Christmas and New Year. Silly, family musical comedies based on Fairy Tales. Each Panto tends to have at least one almost semi famous TV star, one kinda local celebrity and a group of actors, with a few just starting on their careers. Cheesy jokes, slapstick action, catchy songs, big sets, great costumes and really over the top acting. Much audience participation, compulsory booing of the pantomime villain and shouts of ‘it’s behind you’. Some really unfortunate parent always gets singled out for much social embarrassment.
It’s still hugely popular in the UK.
Roll back the clock and in 2015 Hawklad’s mum wasn’t well which stopped us going. Our world changed in 2016 so no panto. Years passed without panto, then COVID.
But finally in December 2023, many years late and WE got to PANTO. Better late than never…… in York’s old Theatre Royal.
Hawklad absolutely loved it. Muppet Dad thankfully avoided being the unfortunate Dad picked on throughout the 2 hours show. Yes it was a truly wonderful, enjoyable family show. That good that tonight we are already booking tickets for next years Panto which is going to be Aladdin..… It took too many years but now we can’t wait to keep up this new tradition.
Back to 2016 and our world changed. I remember being handed a help booklet with the Death Certificate. It explained all the stuff you had to do when your partner had died, how to arrange a funeral, possible help. It read like an IKEA Wardrobe Assembly sheet.
I remember reading the financial support section. It talked about claiming Bereavement and Widowed Parent Support from the Government. It explained that these benefits were available if you were a married couple with a child in full time education. In BOLD it said NO SUPPORT for Unmarried or Civil Partnership Bereaved Partners.
Fast forward all these years and CHANGE. A Successful Legal Challenge against the UK Government has overturned this rule. Now Bereavement Support has to be offered to ALL couples. So last night I completed the 12 page claim form, Hawklad is still in Full Time Education. No guarantees as the Government is trying to limit the damage BUT worth a try.
When I was a kid many centuries ago I wanted to be one of FIVE things when I grew up.
Astronomer
Mountaineer
Professional Football Goalkeeper
Cricketer for Yorkshire
Train Driver
IT NEVER HAPPENED…
Actually never happened for clear reasons
– grew up in a town surrounded by heavy industry so never really saw a star in years…
– scared of heights with the balance of a three legged drunk giraffe…
– 5ft10 ain’t tall enough…
– basically crap at cricket…
– couldn’t ride a bike so assumed a big old train would be way beyond me…
No one ever asked me if I had any dreams , any hopes. Not once was I asked that at school. So my dreams faded. Never really had any more dreams to follow after that and looking back that makes me kinda sad. I was just expected to follow the path chosen for me and my fellow classmates.
Now Hawklad thinks I’m barking mad as I keep going on and on about him following his dreams. Him dreaming big.
And as the festive season approaches I might just buy myself a train set and do just a bit of that dreaming for myself.
It’s exactly 7 years since we welcomed this little hooligan into our world.
For 2 months I hadn’t been functioning, I was a mess and seemingly unable to take control. It had just been over 2 months since we had buried Hawklad’s Mum.
But then in November I realised that the house needed more LIFE, more noise, rekindled fun. A mad puppy was the answer. And do you know what, it still is the single best parenting decision I have made.
It’s beyond me. It has been beyond me since 2016. I’ve tried every November with varying degrees of incompetence. Before then his mum would get it right each year. That’s either making her own excellent ones or remembering to buy them before they sell out. I’m still waiting after 7 years to achieve either of these.
This used to bother me lots. Just how much of this parenting GIG I felt totally out of my depth in. Trying badly to do things his mum would seemingly do effortless.
But you just do the best you can. Just keep trying. Keep smiling at the many mistakes and think maybe next time it might improve.
‘Dad that’s your worst haircut ever, wow I look like a cross between Scooby Shaggy and Krusty the Clown.”
Yes it was a bad one. But on the bright side, when he popped into a Halloween Festival a few days later…
“That haircut looks like something perfect for a Halloween Scare Look. It’s not out of place here, I can take my hat off finally….”
When did his mum ever get a Halloween Hair Cut, THIS RIGHT.
A Dad trying to cope with the loss of his Partner and becoming a single parent. 