In the UK, in the STATE schooling system, far too often the focus is on the wellbeing of THE SYSTEM rather than on the interests of the individual pupil.
The key is that the system runs efficiently, can cope with limited funding and ultimately produces the UNITS the ECONOMY is expected to need. Not much mention of the needs of the individual child. Not much mention of the system going the extra mile for every child.
Am I being ……
Pupils pushed through one educational route regardless of whether it suits the individual. For many it’s never about how high they can fly, never about big or beautiful dreams, not about asking what the child what they want. Far too often it’s about what the SYSTEM decides the child IS.
It’s taken over SEVEN years but finally it was time to sort through paperwork. Mounds of it. Her papers had sat largely untouched in and on the desk she used for work and in a huge old wooden cabinet which sits next to the desk. A large, heavy, immovable and very hard cabinet that is also just close enough to the room door that it’s caused many a bruise to my toes and shins during those years. Prior to that, not so many bruises as this was her room and I hardly ventured in there.
Not enough room in this little bungalow to have an unused room anymore. So it was time….
I had always assumed this would be an emotionally draining experience but in the end it was an odd feeling. I really didn’t feel anything, it just kinda happened. Occasionally I came across a paper with a handwritten note saying ‘speak to xxxxx’, ‘need to look at’, ‘needs sorting’. She never did….. That was unnerving.
I did find a few things which I put to one side for Hawklad to keep. But the pile of papers to get rid of steadily grew into a mound, then a mountain. A mountain that a few days later became a fine garden bonfire.
One work note made me smile. Before we met romantically we worked for a while in the same public sector organisation. Given the amount of paper, she was a conscientious saver of all documents, even seemingly irrelevant work ones. I found a few policies that I had issued, WOW, even I didn’t keep or ever look at those. But one random work document had a simple handwritten note about ME. She had written that I WAS RESPONSIBLE….. That was it, nothing else. Does that mean that she was so impressed with me as shining, go getting manager that I was clearly a RESPONSIBLE person. Could it mean that I was responsible for an area or budget or decisions in something that she was interested in. Or could it mean that there had been a COCKUP and I had caused it. 😂😂😂😂
As I am no Poirot we shall never know. So in the fine traditions of Public Service, I made doubly sure that particular document was especially well incinerated. I’ve spent decades avoiding responsibility and I’m not going to start now.
The room is looking very different now. Space now found for my books, my records, my stuff. It’s starting to not feel like her room anymore. I certainly couldn’t have done this 7 years ago, but those rivers keep flowing and eventually life moves on.
That’s a moody landscape, maybe it knows just how messed up this LAND has become. That it has become the LAND of BAD GOVERNING.
Every single day more evidence of corruption, lies, self interest, extremism, vacuous morality and staggering incompetence.
The Environment, The Economy, Education, The NHS, Public Services, Democracy, Governance, Law, Support to those in Need, Equality, Families, Communities, Futures, ALL being TRASHED.
But what do you expect when we vote in clowns and charlatans to lead this Land.
Case in point, The Deputy Chairman of the Conservative Party and frequent spokesman for the Government. Lee Anderson MP who previously claimed ‘Poverty in the UK’ was NONSENSE has now stated that….
ADHD is down to BAD PARENTING.
That bad science bombshell is news to the actual Scientists, Experts, Professional, Families and everyone who better understand ADHD. ADHD is associated with factors such as Genetics, Brain Structure, Brain Chemical Reactions and with extremely low levels of associated neurotransmitter transmission.
This bloke from the Government is spouting unfounded urban myths and conspiracy theories, AGAIN. This time by stigmatising caring and loving families who are just trying their hearts out and doing the best they can. He is trying to turn people against them. Divide and conquer.
As a parent who still lives in the ADHD world, I’m not going to take any lectures from this CLOWN. He has no idea, he doesn’t care but sadly has a massive ego and even bigger mouth.
Come on people of the UK, when the time comes, DO THE RIGHT THING and get rid of the Charlatans.
Yorkshire has its moments on the peaceful walk front….
This walk had a definite start and end, the Car Park. Some journeys don’t have that luxury so how do you ever know when it’s nearly over.
It’s odd, I usually love this time of year. The AUTUMNAL colours, the freshness, the tranquil peace after the packed summer crowds – the new season arrives and we had this beautiful location virtually to ourselves.
Yet this year there is also a feeling of unease and melancholy. The shorter days, longer nights and yes, the feeling of increased isolation. Even family and friends seem just that little bit further away. I definitely feel significantly less prepared for that isolation this time around AND ITS NOT a surprise. For over a decade the focus has been on Hawklad and School. It brought purpose, provided goals to aim for, even provided a few too many battles to fight. Plans all had a set date, Summer 2023. All this was way more pressing than any feelings of isolation but now that date is history. The Plans worked but are now completed.
What happens next for Hawklad is taking longer to sort out than expected.
Currently life without Plans or more accurately, life while new Plans are still yet to be formulated. Without that immediate focus I’m kinda feeling in limbo. With me LIMBO is letting the mind wander off into feelings of isolation and melancholy. At this rate I might even have to sort out some stuff about my future, it’s been so long it feels like I have forgotten how to do that. At least when we know what Hawklad’s path is, focus will return.
But this time around, I also need to work on some plans of my own.
In all my euphoria over Hawklad’s exam results (https://bereavedsingledad.blog/2023/09/10/bridges-2/) I completely forgot that I was going to get some party balloons for the house. When I did remember, well to be accurate, when Hawklad finally reminded me a few days later……
We immediately rushed off to the Supermarket but with perfect timing, they had completely sold out. Pants….
But sometimes life has a habit of trying to bring balance and so it did. As we drove back empty handed what did we see….
BALLOONS
VERY BIG BALLOONS
Lots of HOT AIR BALLOONS
Maybe not quite the same but definitely memorable and definitely less taxing on my lungs. Now play spot the balloons.
Surprisingly given the amount of rain, Yorkshire isn’t exactly overstocked on waterfalls. However over the last couple of weeks we have ventured to a couple of the local examples.
Not too shoddy at all.
There is one much bigger Falls just over an hours drive from us.
There is history there as well. It was the last place we visited as a family of three. After the world changed, going back seemed impossible. TWO could never be THREE. But now 7 years have passed. TWO still isn’t THREE, but now THREE is about memories, TWO is about living right now,
Maybe we will venture there this weekend for an adventure.
Less than a month before Hawklad potentially starts College. A return to the Lecture Room (rather than Classroom) for the first time since March 2020. The first step to cross is the upcoming Exam Results then it’s hopefully onwards to the return in September.
But there is another huge hurdle facing Hawklad. His fears and phobias relating to health, disease and germs. The impacts are significant on his lifestyle. Inability to touch surfaces and objects. Constant, excessive hand washing. Need to disinfect furniture before he uses them. Frequent need to change clothing. So much more.
This has been part of his life since well before Covid but Covid’s arrival ramped everything up even further. He had been working on these issue for years but frustratingly for him, the fears are currently stronger than ever. Many are struggling with similar phobias, speaking with his NHS Professional, cases of this type of phobia have risen alarmingly. In addition there is growing evidence of some form of link between Autism and significantly higher risk of experiencing life inhibiting phobias. Unfortunately health and support budgets in this area have been cut by the Government. It’s not seen as a health priority currently.
The bottom line is Hawklad will try to figure out ways to survive at College. This doesn’t get any easier for him.
As places go for a bloody battle, this one is rather picturesque. This one was definitely Scotland 3 England 0 but nothing like the Mel Gibson history movie lesson.
Deep sigh. The College Hawklad is hoping to start in September has been sending some pre joining information packs. They are definitely one of the better places round here for providing special educational support. But there is still a sigh.
I was reading the pack explaining how the College is really proactive with dyslexia support. Definitely way more than his last school. But here’s the problem. The College is forced to set course entrance requirements for Hawklad’s preferred subjects. These mandate good results in the GCSE exams which Hawklad had just sat, in particular English Language. The very exams that are most definitely Dyslexia Unfriendly. The exams that desperately try to penalise students like Hawklad. That’s Government Policy.
So it’s fingers crossed for the next few weeks, hoping the results allow Hawklad to follow his chosen path.
We knew this would begin to happen eventually. Almost 10 years back, the first Autism Specialist who worked with Hawklad warned us what would inevitably happen. Initially he would get support from a number of health and education teams. This would last until he became an older teenager and then it would start to change. Services and support would then be withdrawn until basically he was on his own, with his only support system being Family. As the Specialist explained, the system hasn’t got enough resources and is continually being further squeezed. Support needs to be available LIFELONG but in the UK you get to an age when that support is withdrawn. Hawklad will then be expected to fend for himself come what may with only family to turn to. Some describe Adult Autistic Support Provision in the UK as PATCHY, others call it NONEXISTENT.
The kinda weather not for hanging off the side of a fast moving train….
We ventured off to the cinema to watch the latest Mission Impossible instalment. Here if you go to one of the early afternoon screenings it’s usually pretty quiet but by the end of the movie, the cinema is mobbed. It was this way today, when we arrived we had the food and drink counter to ourselves.
What could possibly go wrong….
“Can we have a medium sized sweet popcorn bucket….”
The chap on the till helpfully pointed out that for just extra 50p more we could get a LARGE tub.
‘No thanks, medium is good”
The chap looked puzzled, ‘but you can get twice as much for just 50p more’
‘No it’s ok, we won’t even finish the medium’
The chap was unrelenting, ‘but it’s better value for just 50p more’
‘We never finish the medium, it would just mean more food wasted’
The chap wasn’t letting go, definitely trying to be INEVITABLE. ‘Well if I was you I would get the larger one, makes sense, as it’s much better value’
‘No, it would be a waste’
‘But much better value…’
‘Well only if we eat it all’
After what seemed like an age the MEDIUM bucket arrived. Guess what. Asking for a medium Dr Pepper, then a medium Coffee brought about the same philosophical debate. I was exhausted before the movie. Well at least this made us miss the annoying pre movie adverts.
Medium sized snacks in hand we enjoyed the frantic Tom Cruise ‘Save the World’ madness. Enjoyed with the added spice of picking out the parts of the movie filmed just a few miles from our house. The Alps Train segment was partly filmed on the North Yorkshire Moors Railway. I hope when Tom was hanging off the top of the train that he had his thermals on…
It’s getting a bit of a common theme as the latest Indiana Jones movie had Harrison Ford visiting our local train line.
Back nearly six decades and Hawklad’s Grandad helped reopen the Steam Railway after it had been closed by the Government. After the movie we mused over what he would have made of all this. Movie stars hanging from the side of his beloved Steam Trains, with explosions, gunfire and much carnage.
We agreed, his Grandad would probably have ‘tutted’, ‘sighed’ then made sure that Tom and Harrison had bought a ticket for the journey.
A Dad trying to cope with the loss of his Partner and becoming a single parent. 