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Easter Storm

Easter brought more rain, thankfully some Sun and a Storm. 90mph winds brought some trees, some poor folks lost their roof slates and chimneys. One household in the next village lost a large stone chimney, which crashed down conveniently perfectly between two cars parked 3 ft apart underneath. Not a scratch on either vehicle.

A common sight currently around here is Farmers walking around fields like this, checking just how wet the fields are. Like this Field, very very very WET indeed.

As one of the Farmers said to me, ‘Not Good, Way TOO WET. Over my Boots in places. Ducks have even moved into one of my Fields, I wonder if they are cheaper and easier to keep than Sheep.’

That took me back.

When I was a kid, my Dad decided to build a goldfish pond in the garden. I’m not sure Mum was entirely impressed by the eventual size of the pond, Dad had a tendency to get carried away with his plans. It was a big old pond in what was a not very big garden. Only problem was as soon as Dad had filled it with water, two ducks arrived from out of nowhere and claimed Squatters Rights. On and off, we had those ducks for weeks. These days, I would have shed loads of photos to show you those ducks but not back then. No photos, just faded memories. Thankfully I can still see those Ducks and the Pond, but only after the Farmer reminded me.

But without the aid of ever expanding data clouds filled with digital photos, I wonder just how many memories of my childhood are hidden from view. A few too many I FEAR.

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Holes

The Hole of Horcum. That’s a big old hole on the Moors, 400ft deep and over half a mile wide.

Some of the potholes on our roads feel almost as big…

There are so many potholes, thousands waiting to catch unsuspecting drivers or riders. The days of a relaxing drive in the countryside replaced by a never ending slalom, trying to avoid a suspension killing impact. Every week more and more appearing as the local Council has adopted a ‘no intervention policy’. Every week more and more getting deeper. On the way to our closest store there is one pothole almost in the middle of the road which is 6 inches deep and two foot wide. Drivers now resorting to leaving warning cones all over the roads to try and ward off more cars dropping into the abyss.

As currently there is no fuel in any of the local petrol stations, maybe it’s all part of a secret rewilding of the roads project.

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Signs…

It’s still looking like it’s Winter.

But if you look hard enough, Spring is coming….

Other signs of Spring include Tax Demands, eye wateringly humongous Utility Bill increases, Car spectacularly failing its annual Test, Postman wearing shorts and the first adverts for Christmas 2026. If only I could say Warm Weather as well…

Another sign of Spring is the start of revision for the May exams, Hawklad is definitely not enjoying that.

As he’s revising I must admit I do have a nagging thought. Hopefully the exams go his way and open up a path that will suit him. He’s super keen on University but is aware that there are many obstacles facing him on that way forward. My nagging thought goes beyond that point. What happens after University or whatever path he takes.

What jobs might be open to him, what jobs might still exist by then. A recent headline sticks in my mind.

“1.2 million graduate applicants chasing just 17,000 jobs in the UK”

And it’s only going to get worse. A friend’s daughter graduated over a year ago and after hundreds of applications, is still unemployed. AI is taking out more and more jobs that new graduates once started out in. Plus Graduates are saddled with huge student loans and when they do find a job, they then have the unnerving prospect of trying to find somewhere they can afford to rent or buy. Parents try to help out but here’s the trap. To help out financially parents face the prospect of working well beyond retirement age to fund this but by doing that, it means probably even less jobs available for young people.

I can’t help worry about the future for Hawklad. What career paths might be open to him, what might suit him and then just how many or few opportunities will there be for him.

It’s not always a particularly hopeful thought process.

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Waterfall

England’s largest waterfall by water volume….

High Force in County Durham. A 70ft waterfall.

Given the lack of rain this summer in the north, still an impressive site. We have been here a number of times over the years but this was definitely the quietest it’s been, normally it’s truly thunderous. Streams feeding into the river are dry.

Most unlike our usual northern weather.

Always a bittersweet feeling for us here. This was the last place we visited as a family of 3 outside of Yorkshire. Over 9 years ago now but on this visit it felt a lot longer to me. At times almost like a different life, different world. As I tried to recall the memories they felt like faded old photos, proving difficult to hold onto, losing their colour. TIME and LIFE I guess inevitably has that effect. Eventually we have to move on.

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Castle Fest

It’s been a bit of a castle fest this summer……

CASTLES seems to feel like one of the few things that the UK can still do well.

But then again I’m not sure how many castles here, especially in the north, come with wine vineyards. This beautiful castle in Switzerland does.

Spiez Schloss.

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Potter

Off we headed north to beautiful Northumberland. On this trip we were visiting a wonderfully well preserved castle.

Alnwick.

I first came here when I was at Uni, many many moons ago. It was the first time I had seen a castle that wasn’t in ruins. One you could actually walk inside, through all the rooms. It had paintings, sculptures, carpets, glass in the windows, complete ceilings. A fabulous library. It was lived in. That’s how the aristocracy lived….

Now walking around Alnwick Castle in 2025, it’s still beautifully maintained but now there is an added dimension.

Countless kids and yes some adults dressed up as wizards…

Never seen so many Harry’s and Hermione’s.

This castle is now almost more famous for being used as a film location for the first two Harry Potter movies. The first flying lesson, the early Quidditch training, Harry and Ron crashing the flying car will all filmed here.

On our trip there was no car flying but two wizard tutors were gamely trying to teach as many as possible how to fly a broomstick. As we walked past a line of broomsticks we were asked if we wanted a flying lesson. Hawklad ran off and I politely pointed out that my huge backside would need a jumbo jet sized broom, not one of those titchy things.

Later I realised maybe they had thought I was in character, looking like Hagrid who had really let himself go…..

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Made it

It’s that time of year when the Bluebells start to appear. We have a Bluebell Wood close by but today we headed a bit further. An hours walk over streams, fields and gentle hills. To a wood that we always talked about venturing to when we first moved here but never got round to it. Two decades later, much water under the bridge and finally we made it.

Beautiful walk but walking across farmers fields today bothered Hawklad. Just didn’t feel right for him, started to unnerve him. That’s the thing, somedays he can freely walk these paths, somedays not so. It’s not programmable, not predictable.

I was scrolling through an autism support website and a thread talked about employment. Just how difficult it is still to find employers willing and able to make the environmental adjustments and put in place the support individuals need to secure regular employment. Then for those in employment just how difficult it is to hold down regular employment. Many employment settings are just not autism friendly. On top of that, many talked about the unpredictability of work. Some days work is possible, other days it just isn’t viable. One young person described it as ‘some days I can walk into the office and work, other days I simply can’t get through my front door’.

Yet there seems to be an assumption at Government level, take away benefits and people will suddenly find regular employment to more than replace the lost benefits. Life isn’t that predictable sometimes.

Today we abandoned the farm tracks and walked along the quiet roads. That worked for Hawklad.

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Same story

Caught the end of an interview with a UK politician who was giving his esteemed views on what was holding the country back and he specifically mentioned AUTISM…. That’s right along with Tariffs, energy costs, international conflicts, planning delays and the impacts of climate change, the cost of benefits, he specifically mentioned AUTISM….. He quoted the number of children currently diagnosed with autism and argued that it was clearly too high, and the rising numbers didn’t make any sense. He added that we weren’t seeing the same rapidly rising numbers in Adults…. And how far too many young people diagnosed with autism don’t get a job after they leave school, he argued reliance on benefits was a root cause of this. So if you cut the benefits available, more young people will enter (forced back into) the workforce. He concluded that the country needed to go back to some good old parenting with a sprinkling of tough welfare love. Welfare reform will over time stem the tidal wave of autism while reducing the tax burden on businesses and hard working taxpayers.

I keep hearing this argument more and more in 2025. Similar arguments are being directed towards a range of mental health and disability areas. Tough love will work and reduce the tax burden. One Government Minister even likened reducing disability benefits to cutting a child’s pocket money and encouraging them to get a Saturday job. Let’s not forget, Ministers usually closely stick to a script pre agreed by those at the highest levels of the Government. Those in charge don’t care or they are completely out of touch with the reality faced by millions they are supposed to be representing.

The reason adult autism rates are not rising is down to a couple of key issues. At the age of 18 autism support largely stops in the UK. Clinicians providing Child Autism Services do not have an equivalent adult service to hand an 18 year old on to. As a result large numbers simply drop off the system as adults. Relatively few General Practitioners (Family Doctors) have detailed autism training and it’s hard for them to make an assessment on the basis of a 3 or 5 minute standard length Doctor Appointment. As a clinician who worked with Hawklad explained to me, if an adult approaches a GP with an autism related issue, the busy GP will have little time to make an accurate assessment and anyway they won’t have any adult services to refer on to. So far too often GPs just end up offering some leaflets on mindfulness and possibly a course of Anti Depressants or sleeping medication.

That’s assuming that GPs are actually approached in the first place.

At school Hawklad was expected to put his hand up to get help with reading, or if he was feeling uncomfortable or struggling. But that meant announcing to his classmates that he couldn’t read something or having to publicly announce he was feeling uncomfortable, that was never going to happen. We might be in 2025 but we live in a world where way too many people have closed minds and the media still paint with inaccurate and harmful stereotypes. Autistic children still get bullied and pointed at in the school setting. Not only by children, sadly by parents as well. So Hawklad never put his hand up and the teachers assumed he was ok, the end result, he never got the classroom help he badly needed. Years later, he still won’t put up his hand with strangers or people he doesn’t trust. Even if he’s struggling, he is unlikely to call a GP for help.

2025 and sadly it’s the same old story.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 47 Comments

Can’t put my finger on it….

Nice calming photo before the rant…..

Politicians in designer power suits, talking platitudes and manicured slogans. On their 6 figure pay checks, with second or third lucrative jobs plus more than generous expenses, gold standard protected pensions. Dressed to kill while they announce drastic cuts to disability benefits hitting many of the most hard pressed and struggling members of our society.

Spin Doctors please note, it’s not a great look seeing politicians smiling to camera while announcing disability cuts….

Can’t quite put my finger on it….. Something not quite right about this in my mind…….

Yes this is a Labour Government who has spent the last 10 years howling with protest whenever the previous Government went anywhere near welfare cuts, taking the moral high ground. At least the Conservatives are upfront about it, if they can could get away with it, they would cut.

Listening to the politicians, they seem to have no idea about the real lifes many in the country are struggling with each and every day. In politician world many receiving benefits are just avoiding work, exaggerating disabilities, over playing the impact of mental health issues and are clearly a burden on society, holding the country back.

Deep sigh.

Benefits don’t lead to a life of leisure, rather they allow people just to survive. Even with benefits many in society are living on the edge or beyond. Plus the process of trying to get those benefits is laborious, taxing and angst filled. The system is already stacked against claimants. The ‘cut benefits and suddenly people will get a job’ tag line just isn’t the reality for many. Health, Mental Health and Social Care support is patchy, overstretched, chronically underinvested and in many areas, NONE EXISTENT. Many are having to give up work or reduce hours to care for loved ones as a result of the lack of support. Now even these carers are facing losing the meagre care allowances they currently receive. So if these carers are now financially forced to stop caring, who then looks after those you need full time home support.

Unless this can be reversed or properly thought through, this is going to be a nightmare for many in our country.

Definitely deep deep sigh.

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Is this really 2025

Eleven years ago I remember reading a newspaper headline about Autism. I can picture the scene clearly, sat on a platform at a London train station, waiting for my connection back North. A once smart black suit now a bit creased and unfortunately showing clear signs of an egg sandwich accident. Under the headline a politician was claiming that finally autism was now mainstream, embraced and on the political agenda. Individuals on the spectrum were finally going to start to get the help and support they needed. I remember the article so clearly because the newspaper had managed to spell Aspergers wrong….

2025 and I’m sat in a traffic jam, listening to the news. A politician is talking about Autism. Apparently far too many children are being diagnosed as autistic and it’s costing way too much money. The reason behind the rising cost couldn’t be real and was clearly due to pushy parents playing the system. It was unfair on taxpayers, businesses and other parents. That’s why it was right that the Government was going to crack down on the issue. Crack down on the rising tide of Autism….

Is it really 2025.