Know those times when you don’t engage the brain before you open your mouth to talk. It usually ends badly or maybe you just end up being a US Presidential Candidate….

One of the worst ones I ever did was many years ago, in a Catholic Church in Newcastle, a friend was having his baby baptised. Badly times as there was a Newcastle game starting in 3 hours, yes a few black and white shirts hidden under respectful jackets. As the service progressed a church official came round and invited people up to take part in communion. I was first in line of our group, so the pressure was on me to set the precedent, to get the reply right. I didn’t engage the brain. I responded with a polite ‘better not I’m with the other side’, which I thought was fine as I’m an Anglican. As the chap moved on a friend behind me whispered in my ear ‘He will think your a devil worshipper now’. I just groaned…. Why didn’t I just do what my friends did and just say ‘no thank you’.

Anyways moving on…

Today I was trying to get a few things in our local supermarket when I walked pasted the skincare aisle. Some salespeople where trying to attract interest in some new moisturising thingy. They must have been desperate as one of the ladies pounced on me.

“Excuse me Sir, can I ask do you use moisturising products. We have a new product which might well interest you…..”

Really, I look like a Neanderthal these days…. time to make a quick exit.

I didn’t engage the brain…..

And my mouth opened…..

“I’ve got to that time in life where I find using Embalming is way more beneficial than skin care products “

The poor lady looked bemused and after a few seconds responded…

“I’m usually pretty up with things but I’ve not heard of the Embalming range, I must look it up“

I did the only decent thing in that case and basically just ran away as quick as possible.

31 thoughts on “Not engaging the brain”

  1. Thank you for the much needed chuckle. These days I am so stressed out about that orange man who talks without thinking getting into office (again) that it has not been easy to find levity.

    Like

    Reply

  7. You could not have done better, Gary. Sometimes the inner you knows better than the outer you the exact right words to say. I hope the saleslwdy had a good laugh when she realized her own part in the macabre comedy.

    Like

    Reply

  9. I dread to think what you see in the mirror. Same goes here. For when I look, I tend to think “What the hell now?” and swiftly move on.

    Let’s be glad we’re not the type that regularly have to spend hours faffing, just to try to stay in a fixed state of being.

    Like

    Reply

  12. Ha! Reminds me of a time when a cosmetic sales lady was trying to flog me some new extortionate moisturiser. “It’s full of hydro-thermo…… thingy!” That one needed to pay more attention in training class.

    Like

    Reply

Leave a comment