I was listening to the new David Gilmour song and one line really hit me.
Yes, I have ghosts, not all of them dead.
For me that is so true….. Often the ones which are not dead are the hardest ones to deal with. They can appear at any time. They fill my head with negative thoughts. Once there they can haunt me for days. Missed opportunities. Past mistakes. Errors. Broken promises. Heartaches. Dead ends. Let downs. Sad memories. Inhibitions. Self inflicted hurt. Bleak times. They can hold me back, stop progress, bring on self doubt and herald the return of depression.
Those thoughts still live within me. They aren’t dead. Ready to reappear when I drop my guard. When I am low. When I am tired. When I’m facing a leap of faith. They all relate to past events but the memory still lives on within me. They try to shape my present day mood and choices.
Maybe it’s time to deal with them. Exorcise them. End the hold they have over me. Life is too short to waste. Its time to fill my soul with positive thoughts and memories. Ghosts should be dead.
Sometimes you are filled with doubt. Sometimes you are beyond tired. Sometimes you feel pain. Sometimes you feel alone. Sometimes you are your own biggest critic. Sometimes you fear letting people down. Disappointing them. Patience is hard to find.
I feel like that about myself. I know you feel that way. We all can feel like that. But to the people who truly matter, you are a beacon. A shining light. Have faith and believe in yourself. Focus on all your many wonderful qualities, the smiles you bring to others and your limitless possibilities.
I believe in you.
Now to work on myself.
Apparently that is a cake…. Cake or Richter Scale 9 earthquake. The feeling of baking success….
Thank you Sadje for asking about my 10 favourite life feelings.
So here goes
- That feeling of holding your child for the first time. That moment of bliss as the little 6lb bundle of joy screams the place down,
- Feeling love,
- The feeling of warmth when you hold someone special,
- The feeling of waking up after a long and pleasant dream …. forgotten what that feels like but it sounds so cool,
- That feeling of joy when you realise it’s not Monday and it’s still the weekend,
- Those few moments of release when you get time to read a book or listen to your favourite cd,
- Finding that the empty box of chocolates has a hidden, untouched second layer,
- That moment of connection when you get an unexpected smile from someone,
- Sitting down for a bowl of your mums wonderful Apple Crumble and Custard,
- The feeling of elation when your favourite team wins a major trophy …. I picked the team which can’t even win the best match day pasty contest. No idea what this feels like but it does sound wonderful.
I was tempted to add finding bathroom paper (toilet paper) in the shops these days….
I guess the feeling of baking joy when you produce a wonderful culinary creation must be in there. One day I might be able to confirm that. Maybe it will happen this week, maybe in July when the Great Bloggers Bake-off happens. 18/19th July.
Remember the Bake-off is for everyone, including those like me who can’t bake. It’s not often we get a chance to show off our complete incompetence in the kitchen. Lets embrace our inner baking muppet. Let’s have a laugh and give everyone a giggle as well. You know it makes sense.
So from now until the big weekend I am going to do at least one bit of baking each week. No practice runs. Photograph the disaster. This week I might just have a go at a Meringue….
Remember to send in your baking creations (you can start early) to Mel so that they can be featured in the Great Bake-off.