Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 78 Comments

Swiss Sunday

It’s early Sunday here in Yorkshire yet my thoughts are drifting to a country a 1000 miles away. A country which I haven’t managed to visit for nearly 6 years now. But it’s still very much on my heart. On our little families heart. A place with so many happy times for my son. One of the most stunning lands on our wonderful planet. Time for a bit of Alpine Heaven. Time for Switzerland.

I’m now seeing those mountains and those lakes. The mesmerising landscapes. I’m hearing the peaceful sounds of this land. Relaxing running water. Often the only other sound is the distinctive ringing of cow and church bells. Other than that it’s the sound of silence.

One day I will hopefully return. I hope you will join me as well.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 58 Comments

Swiss Sunday

It’s Sunday so it must be time for our weekly trip to Alpine heaven. A land which we haven’t been able to visit since the summer of 2015 but which still has a special place in our hearts.

Time for a bit of Switzerland love.

It’s school half term week here. If life had turned out differently then there would have been every chance that the next time we visited here would have been at this time of year maybe in 2017. Wasn’t destined to be. Maybe a much smaller family will try in 2022? Always hope. Switzerland is always there.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 48 Comments

Swiss Sunday

It’s Sunday so it must be time for our weekly visit to a little piece of alpine heaven. To a stunning country that our little family has not been able to visit since the summer of 2015. It’s time for Switzerland.

On every visit we would find ourselves spending a few minutes window shopping. Window shopping at the Property Agents. Looking wishfully at all the houses for sale. Dreaming of what could be. Definitely thinking about buying maybe one lottery ticket or suddenly finding that hidden masterpiece in the loft. What a place to live. A place to really live.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 35 Comments

Swiss Sunday

It’s Sunday so it must be time for a trip to Alpine Heaven. To a place which has been close to our family and it’s heart for years. Life has happened and we haven’t been able to visit here since 2015. I give you stunning Switzerland.

Our family looks very different these days. Life has definitely happened. Now the only ones who will carry on the Swiss tradition are Hawklad and me. So that’s what we will do. Virtually until life shifts again and then we can once again step on those alpine slopes again. That day can’t come quick enough for me.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 46 Comments

Lift

It’s amazing what difference a little bit of sun makes. It’s a pleasant landscape. Last week or so it was the perfect landscape for a moody horror movie. Think Hound of the Baskervilles, think the start of American Werewolf in London.

Sometimes life is hard to fathom. You would have thought that the better weather would lift my overall mood. Pick me up. Bring smiles. Well that’s the theory….

So why was I stood in this field feeling down. Sad. Melancholy. Lonely. What was wrong with this view.

How can that happen. Is there something wrong with me. Am I missing something.

It was a while later before the penny dropped. For weeks my view has been restricted. Often no further than the next fence. Yes it was moody, it was also a limited view. No evidence of a wider world out there.

Suddenly the world opened up again today. My gaze lifted. It is such a beautiful world and yet it’s out of reach to me. No real chance of heading towards (or past) those distant hills. 950 miles that way takes me to the Swiss Alps. Look in another direction and it’s family and friends. Look behind me and it’s a frustrating football club and then the mountains of Scotland. Several thousands miles in another direction and it’s….

Those things have been out of reach. In all probability they will be well out of reach for a large part of 2021 (maybe much longer).

That’s why my mood fell. I was reminded of life’s potential. Reminded of life’s current constraints.

But I will keep telling myself that there is always hope. Maybe tomorrow if the sun is out again then my gaze will lift my mood as well.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 58 Comments

Swiss Sunday

It’s Sunday so it must be time for our weekly trip to alpine heaven. A dream destination. Let’s visit beautiful Switzerland.

Switzerland is a place we haven’t been able to visit since 2015. But it is still so special to our little family. One day we will return.

The weather has been awful here in Yorkshire. Day after day of damp, misty greyness. I so need to experience colour again. To breathe in that fresh mountain air. To experience being alive again. So let’s spend a few moments drinking in the colours of Switzerland.

Take care.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 58 Comments

Swiss Sunday

It’s Sunday so it must be time to spend a few moments wandering one of this planets most beautiful countries. A little piece of Alpine Heaven. Let’s visit Switzerland.

2015 was our last family holiday here. The world has changed since then. Many things for the worse. Loss, isolation, anxiety, confusion. I won’t be the only person to experience this. But there are special things that keep me going. Things that I hold close to me. Give me hope for the future. One of those things is Switzerland. It’s still there. Still beautiful. Patiently waiting for our return.

There is always hope. There is always places like Switzerland.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 68 Comments

Wean myself off

This was last year. One hour into my trail run. Apart from missing the exercise I hope you can see why I miss running free.

Eventually you have to accept reality.

Hawklad’s anxieties are still rising. More routine tasks are becoming more difficult for him. He can largely control the dynamics within our house and garden. Lots of washing, extensive quarantining of items and being careful what he touches. He is ok within his castle walls. He is not ok with me venturing out.

Beyond those walls and that’s a completely different world. An alien, dangerous world to him. His doctors are clear – this will take a very long time to start to address. It’s not going to start happening until a pandemic is well behind us and as one of our leading scientists pointed out – with a fair wind we may start returning to something like normal life at the end of 2021. That’s assuming the new vaccines work and roll out soon….

So for me the reality is that our personal lockdown will likely stretch through 2021 as well. My mindset has to change. Away from getting through the next few months TO living the much longer new reality.

So back to the photograph. Running has become a bit of a drug for me. Now I have to completely wean myself off that. I’m nearly there as it’s been so long without it. Time to permanently replace it with other things.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 86 Comments

Time to love Yorkshire

I put my hands up. I might poke a bit of fun at my county of birth. Well actually a lot. Yes the weather can be grim, the people can be a bit odd (me certainly included), we might be a little behind the cutting edge, probably spend too much time focusing on the past BUT….

It is a great place to live and visit. So much history, beautiful brooding landscapes, welcoming, diverse, a wonderful quirkiness and a place that has definitely left its mark on the world. So maybe every so often I should really show and tell the good about Yorkshire.

So here goes. I give you just a fraction of what Yorkshire has to offer.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 53 Comments

Swiss Sunday

It’s Sunday so it must be time for our weekly trip to beautiful Switzerland. A country we haven’t managed to visit for 5 years but is very special to our family. It might be 800 miles away but it feels so much closer.

Yesterday I was talking to our son about visiting this wonderful country again. Without promoting he simply said ‘shame we can’t just move there’. I’m so with him on that. Imagine waking up everyday in a country that looks this good. Imagine that clean, fresh mountain air. A country which is so friendly, where everything works perfectly and one which still feels so safe. Living there would be a dream come true.