Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 31 Comments

Moments

Yorkshire has its moments on the peaceful walk front….

This walk had a definite start and end, the Car Park. Some journeys don’t have that luxury so how do you ever know when it’s nearly over.

It’s odd, I usually love this time of year. The AUTUMNAL colours, the freshness, the tranquil peace after the packed summer crowds – the new season arrives and we had this beautiful location virtually to ourselves.

Yet this year there is also a feeling of unease and melancholy. The shorter days, longer nights and yes, the feeling of increased isolation. Even family and friends seem just that little bit further away. I definitely feel significantly less prepared for that isolation this time around AND ITS NOT a surprise. For over a decade the focus has been on Hawklad and School. It brought purpose, provided goals to aim for, even provided a few too many battles to fight. Plans all had a set date, Summer 2023. All this was way more pressing than any feelings of isolation but now that date is history. The Plans worked but are now completed.

What happens next for Hawklad is taking longer to sort out than expected.

Currently life without Plans or more accurately, life while new Plans are still yet to be formulated. Without that immediate focus I’m kinda feeling in limbo. With me LIMBO is letting the mind wander off into feelings of isolation and melancholy. At this rate I might even have to sort out some stuff about my future, it’s been so long it feels like I have forgotten how to do that. At least when we know what Hawklad’s path is, focus will return.

But this time around, I also need to work on some plans of my own.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 33 Comments

Spot the balloon

In all my euphoria over Hawklad’s exam results (https://bereavedsingledad.blog/2023/09/10/bridges-2/) I completely forgot that I was going to get some party balloons for the house. When I did remember, well to be accurate, when Hawklad finally reminded me a few days later……

We immediately rushed off to the Supermarket but with perfect timing, they had completely sold out. Pants….

But sometimes life has a habit of trying to bring balance and so it did. As we drove back empty handed what did we see….

BALLOONS

VERY BIG BALLOONS

Lots of HOT AIR BALLOONS

Maybe not quite the same but definitely memorable and definitely less taxing on my lungs. Now play spot the balloons.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 38 Comments

When will it stop….

Famous old Whitby. Captain Cook, Dracula and probably the best Fish & Chips on the planet….

Ok, Deep Breath.

The so called UK Government strikes again. Several reputable news agencies are reporting that the Government has started work on cutting by a fifth the number of New Education Health Care Plans issued to children with Special Educational Needs. The millions saved by this cut are to go into funding tax cut giveaways which will be an election promise.

These plans are already a nightmare to get hold of. It took us 18 months of fighting, scraping and torture to get some additional funding for Hawklad. Huge numbers of children with special needs already fail to get any additional help and what help that has been made available has been significantly cut. Schools do not get enough funding to cover additional help and as a result thousands of children suffer. AND now the Government wants to cut even more, make it even more difficult for families to get hold of help and support. The very same Government who cut the tax on Champagne costing millions….

It’s a mess and it’s going to get way worse.

How do people still willingly vote for these Charlatans.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 36 Comments

Bridges

So here goes. Hawklad performed wonders in his exams, against the odds he more than delivered. 7 out of 7 passes and better. In old money he even managed one at A grade.

Absolutely staggering given that he was out of class since March 21. Given that he no professional teaching over that period, in fact probably held back by his amateur teaching muppet dad.

Thinking back, I actually taught him some incorrect principles, methods and theories. I dread to think how much I did get wrong. We watched Oppenheimer and even then I thought, wow I taught him wrong stuff about atoms.

He missed all the science practicals and experiments, the essential geography field trips – Watching online videos just isn’t the same. Having no preparation exams. Missing big parts of the syllabus. Overcoming dyslexia (absolutely no reading help during the 21 exams) and then having to type his exam answers out when he struggles so much with fine motor control (he didn’t even have time to practice typing).

So many more obstacles. Even having to listen to school tell him that taking the exams was not a good idea as he was predicted to fail all the subjects. Doing all this while coping with a significant spike in his anxieties and fears.

But he delivered. Can’t begin to tell you how proud I am of him.

So next steps…

Definitely the next level of exams. A-Levels.

However as I write this we are working on the best way to those exams for him. He is in charge. It his his calls. He picks the right bridge for him.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 33 Comments

Break the silence

Remoteness and Silence still exist in this mad old world.

I was watching an old Cary Grant, Loretta Young and David Niven movie. Definitely a different but really good variation on a Wonderful Life.

The Bishops Wife.

As the plot unfolded I noticed something about David Niven. He just looked so haunted, almost lost, in pain. Tragically his wife had died in an accident just a few months prior to filming leaving him completely broken. After the movie I listened to an interview where he talked about those months after the tragedy. Friends has been there for him including Clark Gable. But in his words, friends inevitably have to get on with their own life’s. When this happened he felt lost, surrounded by darkness, isolated, out of step with the world.

Looking back 7 years almost to the day and I so understand that feeling. The darkest times definitely for me were when friends moved on and suddenly the phone stopped ringing, no text messages, no cards, no knocks at the door.

Silence.

Thankfully I made it through the darkness but now I remind myself, when someone I know is going through loss, to never forget how that SILENCE felt to me. Even something as simple as a card, a text message, a phone call, or a coffee invite can make such a difference.

Break that Silence.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 50 Comments

Waterfalls

Surprisingly given the amount of rain, Yorkshire isn’t exactly overstocked on waterfalls. However over the last couple of weeks we have ventured to a couple of the local examples.

Not too shoddy at all.

There is one much bigger Falls just over an hours drive from us.

There is history there as well. It was the last place we visited as a family of three. After the world changed, going back seemed impossible. TWO could never be THREE. But now 7 years have passed. TWO still isn’t THREE, but now THREE is about memories, TWO is about living right now,

Maybe we will venture there this weekend for an adventure.

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Sponge

It’s a Sponge Cake….

And this time it’s not a risk to dental work. Moist and almost like a proper cake. Ok, I admit that some careful cutting has masked the collapsed part of this culinary delight. I also ran out of ingredients, hence only one layer and the jam on top….

Surely you can do way better OR maybe you are truly a Generational Talent and can actually lower the bar even lower than ME.

The EXPRESS YOURSELF Great Bloggers Bake-off is THIS WEEKEND.

If you fancy having a go either wonderfully well or worryingly woefully, you can send photos of your creations or monstrosities to

crushedcaramel@gmail.com

Check out Mel’s wonderful site for more information and the latest baking creations. 

Express Yourself In Baking Form

YOU KNOW IT MAKES SENSE

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 19 Comments

Dress Up

That was a bit of a downpour….

Several decades ago, it was similarly wet when the University Rugby Team I was playing for travelled to Oxford for a cup game. What a mud bath. Damp must have got into my system as our huge shed of a Prop and the normally mild mannered ME decided to have a fight with the Opposition Front Row. The end result 5 SENT OFF including ME.

Our team operated a FORFEIT system for disciplinary breaches. The Coach had acquired a huge pack of adult party cards listing various odd punishments. My punishment was to ‘Taste Perfume’. Talk about Eye Watering. Trust me with some of these forfeits, I got off lightly.

On this occasion, my fellow miscreant was forced with his Forfeit Card to dress up for a day. He walked about the campus and city centre dressed as a GIANT PARROT. Biggest Bird you have ever seen. Very impressive and yet a nightmare for him. The costume cost him a fortune to buy, it was heavy, uncomfortable and almost impossible to do anything in. At one stage he even got stuck in some revolving doors and caused a bit of a scene in the local supermarket. He had a truly miserable day.

But here’s the thing. He misheard the challenge. He was supposed to dress up for the day as a PIRATE. No one had the heart to tell him. I guess it was his way of Expressing Himself.

The EXPRESS YOURSELF Great Bloggers Bake-off is THIS WEEKEND….

If you fancy having a culinary go either wonderfully well or worryingly woefully, you can send photos of your creations or monstrosities to

crushedcaramel@gmail.com

Check out Mel’s wonderful site for more information and the latest baking creations. 

Express Yourself In Baking Form

YOU KNOW IT MAKES SENSE

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 22 Comments

Saw

It looks almost edible…. It looks almost like a flapjack……

I wouldn’t know what it tastes like……

Another baking tooth breaker. It might look soft but looks can deceive. My kitchen knifes could not cut it. It was even beyond the electric knife, definite burning smell after a few seconds. In the end this almost square flapjack was made using my Wood Saw.

Oh dear….. I guess it’s a talent.

Surely you can do way better OR maybe you are truly a Generational Talent and can actually lower the bar even lower than ME.

The EXPRESS YOURSELF Great Bloggers Bake-off is back. (26th-27th August 2023).

If you fancy having a go either wonderfully well or worryingly woefully, you can send photos of your creations or monstrosities to

crushedcaramel@gmail.com

Check out Mel’s wonderful site for more information and the latest baking creations. 

Express Yourself In Baking Form

YOU KNOW IT MAKES SENSE