Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 48 Comments

We need a bigger bin.

‘We need a bigger bin’ doesn’t seem to have quite the same dramatic ring as ‘we need a bigger boat’ from Jaws….

Houston We have Problem….

In the great scheme of things, it’s not an Apollo Spacecraft is running out of fuel level crisis. It’s not even anywhere near the patio weedkiller isn’t really working with the Red Weed from War of the Worlds emergency.

Ok it’s just a wheelie bin issue…

But a common one round here.

As a cost cutting idea the local Council changed our recycling collections from every 2 to 4 weeks. To be fair they did give us a slightly bigger bin but in the good old days, every two weeks you would just pile up all the cardboard next to the inevitable full recycling bin and it would be collected. Now if it’s not in the bin, it ain’t being collected….

So these days, after about 2 weeks you see local residents employ various strategies to fit more and more into the already packed bin. Some carefully cut up the cardboard into smaller pieces (takes them hours), some madly folding and refolding as if in a crazy origami tournament, others have bonfires, others just start cramming cardboard into the normal refuge bin. I’ve elected for the get the ladders out, step into the full bin and start jumping up and down to compress. I dread to think of the internal pressures being applied to that poor wheelie bin. You never see good old Dr Who having to do that with his Tardis.

Anyways enough of Yorkshire Troubles.

We clearly haven’t had enough Castle trips this summer. Let’s have a look at Warwick Castle, one of Britain’s finest historic sites. Brings back a ton of memories, I went to university many many moons ago at Warwick.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 28 Comments

Castles and more castles

The summer mission to visit castles continues…..

Two Northumberland entries today, the first is Warkworth Castle. A grand old castle dating back from the 11th century. The tropical northern weather and the occasional civil war has taken some toll but it’s still mighty impressive.

The second castle is one of our favourites. Set just a few feet from the North Sea, we have Dunstanburgh Castle. Very much a ruin, but what a location. You walk from a beautiful seaside fishing village of Craster.

Along the coast…

And after a couple of miles to the remote old castle.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 28 Comments

Waterfall

England’s largest waterfall by water volume….

High Force in County Durham. A 70ft waterfall.

Given the lack of rain this summer in the north, still an impressive site. We have been here a number of times over the years but this was definitely the quietest it’s been, normally it’s truly thunderous. Streams feeding into the river are dry.

Most unlike our usual northern weather.

Always a bittersweet feeling for us here. This was the last place we visited as a family of 3 outside of Yorkshire. Over 9 years ago now but on this visit it felt a lot longer to me. At times almost like a different life, different world. As I tried to recall the memories they felt like faded old photos, proving difficult to hold onto, losing their colour. TIME and LIFE I guess inevitably has that effect. Eventually we have to move on.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 26 Comments

Castle Fest

It’s been a bit of a castle fest this summer……

CASTLES seems to feel like one of the few things that the UK can still do well.

But then again I’m not sure how many castles here, especially in the north, come with wine vineyards. This beautiful castle in Switzerland does.

Spiez Schloss.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 36 Comments

Potter

Off we headed north to beautiful Northumberland. On this trip we were visiting a wonderfully well preserved castle.

Alnwick.

I first came here when I was at Uni, many many moons ago. It was the first time I had seen a castle that wasn’t in ruins. One you could actually walk inside, through all the rooms. It had paintings, sculptures, carpets, glass in the windows, complete ceilings. A fabulous library. It was lived in. That’s how the aristocracy lived….

Now walking around Alnwick Castle in 2025, it’s still beautifully maintained but now there is an added dimension.

Countless kids and yes some adults dressed up as wizards…

Never seen so many Harry’s and Hermione’s.

This castle is now almost more famous for being used as a film location for the first two Harry Potter movies. The first flying lesson, the early Quidditch training, Harry and Ron crashing the flying car will all filmed here.

On our trip there was no car flying but two wizard tutors were gamely trying to teach as many as possible how to fly a broomstick. As we walked past a line of broomsticks we were asked if we wanted a flying lesson. Hawklad ran off and I politely pointed out that my huge backside would need a jumbo jet sized broom, not one of those titchy things.

Later I realised maybe they had thought I was in character, looking like Hagrid who had really let himself go…..

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 32 Comments

Time

Someone asked why do we go to so many concerts…

The obvious answer is that we both like music. I seem to have inflicted my musical tastes on Hawklad so it’s also easy to agree on which bands to see.

Maybe part of it is also to try and create as many memories as possible. It’s not always easy for Hawklad to feel relatively as ease in the wider world. But we have found a way to make concerts work for him. They are definitely something we can plan and do, minimising some of the risk factors for him. Concerts in that sense are easier to setup, much less problematic, more controllable than say going on holiday. Since our world changed we have been able to make happen quite a lot of concerts without encountering too many things going wrong. Over those nine plus years we haven’t managed yet to go on holiday. Still just feels a step too far for him yet. You can’t micromanage every factor that could happen, but at least with concerts there is a level of predictability that makes them safer bets for Hawkkad.

But we are still trying to find a way to make a holiday happen.

So we found ourselves at the new state of the art arena in Manchester, to see ELO on their last tour. This time life’s unpredictability happened to the band. Poor Jeff Lynne broke his hand in a taxi accident just before the short final tour started. He was also struggling with a systemic infection which was getting worse. The concert was really good but you could see Jeff was starting to struggle. He managed to finish the set but needed to sit for the final few songs and was quickly helped off stage at the end. Subsequently he had to cancel the final two concerts so currently we saw the last ELO concert. Maybe they can still do something down the road when he is properly healed.

Driving back from the concert I realised just how many of the bands I grew up with, bands I love and now Hawklad loves, are getting older. Time is moving on. More and more we are seeing bands on their last Tours. Some stars are sadly passing on. Hawklad never got to see Ozzy, we tried twice but the concerts were cancelled on health grounds. Wasn’t to be. I saw him once in the eighties, never imagining that would be the only time.

Time moves on….

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 28 Comments

Summer Mist

Summer Mist is usually a bit of a rarity here.

Sat in the waiting room at the local Vets, waiting for the Nurse to do her stuff. Sometimes a Dog’s Life doesn’t sound too appealing. Nor does the Veterinary Nurse’s Life…. The Nurse was going to really earn her money by emptying the MadDog’s Anal Glands.

The Pet Owner can do this at home… I think NOT….

As I arrived I was handed a number of information leaflets to take home with me. Covering things like Tick Prevention, Pet Insurance and Dog Walking Services. About nine years ago I was also getting handed leaflets. Everywhere I went, everything I did, I seemed to come away with even more leaflets. Banks were the worst for this. How to deal with Grief, the help available to the Bereaved and lists of what to do next. My pockets were stuffed with them. For me, it was just too much. Overload. I couldn’t focus on anything, reading words would have just gone over my head. I can’t remember what I did with all those leaflets, hardly any got looked at in the end. All I wanted was for someone to quietly and quickly just do what was needed to be done, so I could get out of wherever I was, AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

Just like what the Mad Dog must have been thinking when he was with the Nurse.

After the ordeal, the Nurse offered the Mad One a small Dog Treat. Sorry if that was me, I would want so much more after that torture. At the very least, a free call to my Lawyer.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 46 Comments

Lake Legends

A grim old Yorkshire Day.

Heading towards that LAKE in the distance. Lake Gormire.

It’s been on our hit list for years. It’s one of those LAKES that has had many old legends attached to it.

It’s BOTTOMLESS and as such it’s a gateway to Hell. Bottomless or 22ft deep if you believe the geological measurements….

It has a prehistoric monster, just not as famous as the one in Loch Ness….

A headless horseman who rides around its shores at night…..

A witch who could transform herself into animals, who jumped into the Lake to escape being burned at the stake and reappeared almost instantly in a local market town, many miles away…. That’s clever as the local bus only runs a couple of times a day, not at weekends and if it turns up it’s running monumentally late…..

Not to be outdone, a Goose apparently did the same Lake disappearing trick ….

A village once stood here but an earthquake swallowed up the buildings, just leaving a lake in their place. Occasionally, when the stars align, you can see the village if you look really carefully into the water….

A mighty castle once stood proudly here, but the owner murdered his wife and as punishment a mighty flood submerged the castle…..

One lake fact which can be confirmed, it was once named by The Times in a list of the top 20 natural swimming locations in the country. Without any feeder rivers or streams, it apparently has hardly any current and has an unusually warm feeling.

On this grim old day these were the only beasts we encountered.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 31 Comments

Years

I wonder how many years these wooden poles have survived the North Sea….

Looking in the mirror most mornings, they have clearly weathered way better than me. The front one has even got more hair than me. I’m not jealous, much 😂😂😂😂

We’ve been coming here since Hawklad was just starting school. Always the same routine. Find a parking spot where you can see the beach, let Hawklad see how busy it is. Too busy for him and we drive off, no questions asked. If it’s quiet enough, we hit the beach. Sometimes we don’t even park up, if the car park is busy, the beach will be.

So how does he manage concerts and now a F1 race.

We have a routine. Always try to buy the two seats at the end of a row, the back or front rows are best. If those seats aren’t available, then we don’t go. It’s the same for the cinema, has to be the two end seats on the front row. Hawklad takes the end of row seat. Sometimes that’s not enough and Hawklad decides it’s still too much. There have been a few concerts, movies and a football matches where it just never happened, still feeling too crowded, just never felt right for Hawklad.

At Silverstone it was even better, 168,000 watching an F1 race. But we still were able to find two end row seats, with no seats behind us. Plus next to our two seats was a roof support column, three more seats missing. Hawklad found space amongst the masses. All we had to do is arrive really early to miss the queues to get in, let Hawklad get to his seat before the crowd mayhem started. Setting off at 3.30am sorted that out.

That felt early, too early. Probably one of the reasons I’ve weathered worse than those beach poles.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 32 Comments

Letter to you

“Tried to summon all that my heart finds true
And send it in my letter to you”

The words of Bruce Springsteen in LETTER TO YOU

Eight years back, when we were going through Mum’s house we came across a letter. Not to us, but still a letter. A decades old letter that indicated Dad had been married and divorced before he met Mum. We had no idea. Without finding that letter we would never have found out. I can imagine asking Mum …..

Why didn’t you or Dad mention this small fact…..

And I can already hear Mum’s response ‘Well you never asked dear, now go and put the kettle on, there is an old Clark Gable movie starting on the telly in a couple of minutes…..”

A friend in the village once told me that after his partner died he found a LETTER. A beautiful letter from his partner which talked about unbreakable love, wonderful times, happy memories and the best of times. The letter also talked about starting again, finding happiness, living life and maybe love again.

Definitely summoning all that my heart finds true.

I found a LETTER TO ME. With trepidation I opened the letter addressed to me. Not from the end but from a few years back. My partner liked to go on overseas solo adventures and I guess before every trip she wrote a letter just in case the worst happened. One of those letters had become hidden in other stuff and had become long forgotten.

I didn’t find too many expressions of love, no heartfelt messages. This LETTER TO ME basically reminded me to

  • Inform X,Y and Z.
  • To stop her Accountancy Subscription Fees.
  • Cancel her hair and dentist appointments.
  • To check her clothes pockets before I take them to the charity shop.
  • Make sure I clean her car out properly before I sell it.
  • Don’t forget to paint the front door.
  • Remember to put the bins out on a Tuesday…..

Not sure that’s the kind of thing Bruce was writing about in his song.