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Time

Someone asked why do we go to so many concerts…

The obvious answer is that we both like music. I seem to have inflicted my musical tastes on Hawklad so it’s also easy to agree on which bands to see.

Maybe part of it is also to try and create as many memories as possible. It’s not always easy for Hawklad to feel relatively as ease in the wider world. But we have found a way to make concerts work for him. They are definitely something we can plan and do, minimising some of the risk factors for him. Concerts in that sense are easier to setup, much less problematic, more controllable than say going on holiday. Since our world changed we have been able to make happen quite a lot of concerts without encountering too many things going wrong. Over those nine plus years we haven’t managed yet to go on holiday. Still just feels a step too far for him yet. You can’t micromanage every factor that could happen, but at least with concerts there is a level of predictability that makes them safer bets for Hawkkad.

But we are still trying to find a way to make a holiday happen.

So we found ourselves at the new state of the art arena in Manchester, to see ELO on their last tour. This time life’s unpredictability happened to the band. Poor Jeff Lynne broke his hand in a taxi accident just before the short final tour started. He was also struggling with a systemic infection which was getting worse. The concert was really good but you could see Jeff was starting to struggle. He managed to finish the set but needed to sit for the final few songs and was quickly helped off stage at the end. Subsequently he had to cancel the final two concerts so currently we saw the last ELO concert. Maybe they can still do something down the road when he is properly healed.

Driving back from the concert I realised just how many of the bands I grew up with, bands I love and now Hawklad loves, are getting older. Time is moving on. More and more we are seeing bands on their last Tours. Some stars are sadly passing on. Hawklad never got to see Ozzy, we tried twice but the concerts were cancelled on health grounds. Wasn’t to be. I saw him once in the eighties, never imagining that would be the only time.

Time moves on….

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Bruce

There are concerts and then there are CONCERTS….

Just a bit closer to the stage than the last time we saw BRUCE.

It’s strange how life works out sometimes. When I was much younger, I really wanted to see Bruce but the stars wouldn’t quite align. There was also quite a bit of that ‘shedloads of time in my pockets’ thing going on with me. No rush, plenty of time to sort stuff out.

But the years and decades rolled on. Bruce got older. I got older. That growing, nagging feeling, is there really plenty of time.

Then life hit the buffers. Bereavement. Single Parenting. Life felt like it had stopped. Permanently stopped. Bucket list stuff, things like seeing Bruce seemed like a million miles away and ever receding in the rear view mirror.

But slowly life started to spin again. A different life. Now a growing realisation that I won’t figure most things out in life, why things happen when they happen or don’t happen. That really clever, brilliant stuff is way beyond my pay grade. The other growing realisation, we really don’t have plenty of time in this life, but maybe, just maybe most of us will be given ENOUGH time to get enough done. Enough time to learn and grow. Enough time to experience enough in life, the good, the bad. It’s how we use that time, what guides us, our priorities, the choices we make, the doors that are opened for us, the doors that are closed to us, how we deal with the stuff of life.

No Bruce for decades and then wonderfully, unexpectedly, twice in 13 months. It’s a funny old life.

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Summer of 69

Trip to see the wonderful Bryan Adams. The last time I saw Bryan, I was still in my twenties, wow where did those years go. Looking at most of the crowd, I bet there were quite a few thinking the same.

Odd times back then. I had been with this girl for nearly three years, about that time we had started talking marriage and kids. Planning for the future. We went to see Bryan starting to plan for the long term.

Yet just a few months later, it was over. Life happened and we went our separate ways. We parted well and vowed to stay friends, maybe try again if the right moment came. But staying friends was maybe the problem. We could be friends but never really developed into best friends and soul mates. Careers took us in different geographic directions and we ended up seeing each other only once in the subsequent few years. A nice restaurant meal around the time a certain Bryan Adam’s love song was never off the radio. I remember almost asking her if she wanted to try again, but couldn’t find the words and I wasn’t completely certain. From a mutual friend, apparently she thought about asking the same thing but likewise didn’t. That was it, haven’t seen her again, decades have passed. No idea where she is now.

So last week when Bryan played that love song, it took me briefly back, I had completely forgotten about that time in my life. To a relationship that came close but never quite worked out for both of us. No regrets, just hope she did find the one, someone who could be her best friend and soul mate. Someone I was never really going to be.

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Years

Night time in Newcastle.

Walking to the first concert of the year.

2025 still finds concerts as a dependable friend. A break from the routine, a link with my earlier self for me. An adventure that Hawklad has confidence in and can rely on, a bridge for him. While holidays are still feeling a step too far, concerts take their place.

Some of the concerts are for me, some are Hawklad’s idea, most we agree on. This year is an eclectic mix. Springsteen, ELO, Al Stewart, Iron Maiden, Guns n Roses and Andrea Bocelli.

This one was my idea. Finally getting to see Fish after years of waiting. Left it late, this was his fourth last concert, his last one in England before he retires to his Croft on a Scottish Isle.

I wonder if quite a few in the crowd had the same feeling as me. Got really into music listening to artists like Fish, followed their careers as time passed. Now decades have passed, the bodies aren’t so willing to stand for hours now. Most of the long hair and tight jeans have gone. Yet we are still fans, the music sounds just as wonderful as it did at the start of this adventure. But increasingly we are attending final concerts of our music heroes.

Where did those years go……

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Not raining

Scarborough and unbelievably it’s NOT RAINING.

With one finger briefly dipped into the water I can confirm that the North Sea is absolutely frigid at this time of year….

That was Thursday, Friday was way more misty. Perfect weather to visit the cinema, or as my Mum would have called it, THE PICTURES. Dear Mum, when she was young she loved going to The Pictures but then life happened and she stopped going. For many Decades….

She did go one more time to see The Horse Whisperer. She was rooted to her chair as the credits finished rolling, a little disturbed to discover that the modern Pictures experience doesn’t include a PATHE News bulletin and the singing of the National Anthem. I’m also not sure what Mum would have made of the movie we saw on Friday, the new Bob Dylan biopic. A Fantastic movie but maybe wouldn’t have quite been mum’s musical cup of tea. However we loved it and Hawklad shared a thought while watching Timothee Chalamet hauntingly accurate portrayal of Dylan. Thinking of Dylan performing back in 1961 (even before I was born….) and then realising 63 years later, Hawklad got to see him play live just a few months back. Had to agree with him, that is mind blowing.

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So worth it.

Nothing screams more a festive morning without enough sleep than trying to shake a full protein chocolate drink without putting the lid on…..

It was all over the blinds, on me, even on the ceiling.

Definitely self inflicted sleep deprivation. A concert finishing in London at 11pm, followed by a 5 hour drive back to Yorkshire. Add another 2 hours for road closures designed to keep you from making any progress around the dreaded motorway that inspired Chris Rea’s The Road to Hell.

But it was all worth it. You don’t often get the chance to see Paul McCartney in concert and unbelievably get to see him play once again with Ringo Star. Duets via the magic of technology with John and George. Throw in a bit of Ronnie Wood and it was a truly unforgettable night.

We will even forgive Paul for playing that Christmas Song….

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MUD

Some more rain on the way.

You can never have enough MUD.

Those of a certain age like me think ‘Tiger Feet’ when MUD is mentioned.

Apparently our area is still under a DROUGHT order and we are banned from using hosepipes. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

How is it possible to lose stuff in a small bungalow. Only so many places to look and still things go missing. Maybe one day I might stumble across a goldmine of lost treasures. This time I was looking for some of mum’s cds. Now that would be a musical goldmine. Sinatra, Martin, Cash, Crosby, Davis Jnr. Where had I stored them in this small bungalow back in 2016. Absolutely no sign of them but I did come across my partners cd’s, quietly collecting dust in one hardly visited corner of this little old building. More music untouched since 2016.

Back 6 years ago those cd’s were far too painful to touch. Today I thumbed through them, without pain.

TIME heals.

With TIME things can change.

Going through these cd’s one thought kept crossing my mind. Wow she had some appalling tastes in music, well at least to an old headbanger like me. Yes there where one or two gems but wow, so much nameless dance club music. I had forgotten just how little our musical likes ever coincided.

With zero chance of most of these cds ever getting played, a decision was made to relocate them to the attic until I can get them to the charity shop.

CDs should be played and not just sit there collecting dust.

‘And not just sit there collecting dust’, thinking about it, you can apply those words to people as well. I should remember that.

,

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Look but don’t touch

It’s been a long time….

Back before 2020 Hawklad had made fantastic progress. Not a natural socialite, even School was endured rather than embraced. Apart from one or two really close friends, he avoided large groups. But he pushed on. He forced himself on to do a few things he wanted to do even though it meant being amongst the masses. Sports matches, normally to see my so called team lose. Thankfully the wise young one picked a team that didn’t play in black and white to support. He could relax and laugh at his Dad.

The other thing he wanted to do was go to Rock Concerts. He managed it. Hood pulled firmly over his head and he found a way that worked for him. But then a pandemic hit. Alter Bridge and Shinedown was his last concert back in December 2019.

Everything then stopped.

2022 finds his fears and anxieties ramped up even further. But HE WANTS TO GO TO CONCERTS AGAIN.

So here goes.

With much planning, we find ourselves on a car journey right across to the other side of the country. A walk through a strange new busy city. Public Transport strictly avoided so we walked for miles to a football stadium. We waited outside for the right moment. A lull in the queues. We dived in. On the pitch and standing, that way we can control how close people get to him.

And with luck on our side Hawklad gets to see Echo and The Bunnymen AND THE ROLLING STONES. Yes it was crowded but we maintained a clear zone at all times. Yes I did have to get the elbows out at times to enforce that…. but the zone held. Years of metal concerts fully prepared me for that job.

A few hours later we are heading back home on the motorway. From Car to STONES to Car without Hawklad once touching an alien surface. But he did it. Hawklad a chatterbox telling me just how fantastic the Stones had been.

Here’s the sting in the tail. Poor Mick Jagger then went down with COVID a couple of days later. He may well have caught it doing this concert or in the city we had visited. That has been duly noted by Hawklad. But it’s still a step forward.

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Shy cat

Yesterday the mad dog got a bit of blogging attention, well today his partner in crime is getting the spotlight. It’s big fat cat time.

Shame he’s a bit shy….

Or is it just sign that it’s such a hard life being a big fat cat.

Here’s the thing. I feel like copying the cat sometimes. Well not that thing he does when he’s bent double…. But definitely this covering the eyes truck. Definitely feeling tired and worn down. Parenting doesn’t really give you many breaks. Single parenting since 2016, no meaningful breaks really. No holidays. No letting what’s left of my hair down. Throw a pandemic in and each day seems to be very similar to last one. Spooky that it was Groundhog Day this week, apparently the little hog chap farted which means it’s another 6 weeks of eating Lasagna or something like that. You get the picture.

This feeling will pass. I’ve had these spells before. A better nights sleep will help. Maybe a shed load of caffeine and chocolate will do the trick. Mum would get me to play some sad music as a pick me up, so where is my Pink Floyd – Final Cut album (wow that’s a cheerful thing) or even darker, The Best of Alvin and the Chipmunks. But until I get my mojo back, maybe that soft, big pudding of a cat has a point, at least for one night.

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Moving

Here’s the problem with school exams. Sitting in a deathly quiet hall. Surrounded by people who you probably don’t know and if you did know them, what’s the point as you can’t talk. Sat for hours, without moving, writing in silence. The only sounds, the occasional cough (that might be really off putting these days), the rustle of sweet papers being opened and the never ending clicks of the large clock at the front. Then the deafening booming voice – ‘and that’s time, put you pens down’…..

Today Hawklad had a History exam to sit at home. A slightly different exam environment. Sat on a sofa – sometimes. Then pacing around the house to think. A trip to the kitchen to get a piece of cake and soda. Then relocating to his bed to do the long question. All to the tune of music. Some Queen, some Bowie then some Journey. Not forgetting the 2 minute break to give his fingers a rest, best done by tickling the dog’s tummy and kicking a ball around the room.

That’s how Hawklad thinks, works and is most comfortable. Sitting still for more than 10 minutes is stressful, his body needs to be in constant motion. Quiet spooks him. Concentration is done in short bursts then a break. He thinks best when he’s relaxed and moving.

Looking at his completed paper. That free form exam approach works perfectly. Problem is that it isn’t going to be allowed in the final exams. The traditional exam environment is so alien to him. He just can’t perform in that setting. It’s bad for him.

What on earth do we do about that.