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Foot bath

The sun so tantalisingly close but no cigar. That’s as close as it came to beach weather here in Yorkshire today. When I say beach weather that is in terms of Walruses.

The picture is perfect for my mood today.

Trying to be a ray of sunshine but not quiet achieving it. After the stress of the last few days I was aiming to have a nice day. At home sorting out the works payroll run while listening to a fine collection of relaxing music. Not forgetting to fit in a run around a slightly extended lunch break. Well that was the plan.

Unfortunately as I was heading for bed at 1am I noticed son had lost a button on his school jacket. That’s a School negative and would send him into meltdown again. So the half asleep Dad with the sewing abilities of a drunk Penguin spent most of the night basically sewing various fingers onto the front of the said jacket. How difficult can this really be. As a guide it took me 40 minutes and three hot drinks to just thread the needle. At one stage I must have dozed off as I managed to head-but the sewing box. Eventually I made bed at just after 4am with a pretty decent sewing job completed. Unfortunately now I was wide awake and sleep passed me by for another night.

Relaxation and no sleep are not a great combination. Especially when the old CD player annoyingly developed a jump while playing my favourite cds. Thankfully I made it to my run. An almost enjoyable run until my sleep deprivation led me literally down the wrong path. Normally the right one but since the last floods – not a great one. The ground was becoming increasingly squelchy until I came to the large beck. Normally a nice wooden bridge joins both sides of the path. Unfortunately the bridge collapsed months ago and is currently heading towards the North Sea. So two choices do a u-turn which will add another hour to the run or jump the beck. The need to restart work ASAP dictated the mad option. I guess I can just about jump the beck – it’s only about 6 feet. I hit the long jump perfectly and unbelievably sailed clear over the beck. My moment of triumph was short lived. As quick as my considerable momentum tried to take me forward my left foot tried to sink into the mud. Then the dreaded muddy suction sound and a foot reluctant to come out for air. Something had to give. My foot released unfortunately my shoe didn’t. Hoping around on one leg while trying to prize the missing trainer from its muddy grave. Unfortunately gravity always wins and my exposed white sock sunk into the mud. When the trainer was rescued it was full of thick cold mud. Lovely running in that for the final 2 miles. At least my left foot got a free mud bath.

But here’s the rub. To take my mind off the mud drenched foot I replayed memories in my head. Happy memories of my partner. Passing one particular farm field I was taken back about 16 years. A late sunny evening walk. Maybe one too many wines. Then trying to make snow angels in that fields wheat crop. Completely forgot that one. It’s such a treat when you discover keys to long lost memory doors.

The mood darkened a bit on news that son has to revise for two tests on Monday morning AND spelling tests will now happen every week. Deep joy. So yes it’s been a day which could have been really uplifting but never quite managed to shake off the dark clouds. Maybe tomorrow the sun will shine.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent

Halloween 4

**** sorry WP is fighting back – trying to fix it *******

Time for our top 5 Halloween playlist’s.

First our son

Alter Bridge – Metalingus

A song just too cool it would be wrong not to play at any time of year.

Press here to play the Metalingus song

Scooby Doo Intro

Press here for time travel to your childhood

Alice Cooper – Feed My Frankenstein

Press here for a bit of Alice

Blue Oyster Cult – Don’t Fear The Reaper

Press here for that song from Halloween

Alvin and the Chipmunks – Gangnam Style

This is shocking and scares the pants of my Dad.

Alviiiiiinnnnn Video

Now it’s his Dad’s turn

Metallica – Enter Sandman

Press here for Enter Sandman

Black Sabbath – Black Sabbath

Had to include the band named after a Boris Karloff horror movie

Press here for a bit of Birmingham’s finest.

Monster Mash

Press here for a blast from the past

Rocky Horror Time Warp

Press here for and you will be dancing in seconds

Ghost – Cirice

Press here for a seriously spooky band

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 84 Comments

Ducks

It’s been several years since we fed the ducks. It’s back to a time before our world changed. A family of 3. Every Sunday we would go to the lake armed with food left overs from the week. Often our son would be surrounded by hundreds of ducks and swans. He would carefully try to ensure all those impatiently waiting received a share of the food parcel. Then we would go to the local cafe for a freshly baked cheese scone. So many great moments sadly stopped one August three years ago.

Maybe this weekend will be a good time to rectify our absence. It wasn’t the birds fault that the bad stuff happened. Maybe we can rekindle some of those feelings. Maybe we will create new feelings. We won’t know until we try. I suspect the ducks won’t mind us trying.

So I’ve started filling a large bucket with out of date oats, some cheap tinned sweet corn, seed and of course a little bit of bread. Even ducks need a balanced diet.

While trying to find the old duck feed bucket I came across a couple of old concert T-shirt’s and ticket stubs. Days of hair, tight trousers and Thunderbird Cider. Looking at the names on the shirts it was very sobering. Many of those I went to see are sadly not with us anymore. So while I worked this afternoon I listened to a music from these fallen heroes. I tried to recall seeing that person on stage – in their prime. How they should be remembered. The roll call included

Cozy Powell

Richard Wright

Lemmy

Rory Gallagher

Ronnie James Dio

John Lord

Gary Moore

Lou Reed

Kirsty MacColl

David Bowie

The more I think about it the more heroes I can add to the list. That’s really sobering. As you get older more and more of your heroes depart. But they have left so many lasting memories for us to enjoy. They left a positive mark on this world. That’s a life well lived. I will leave the last words to Lemmy.

“Death is an inevitability, isn’t it? You become more aware of that when you get to my age. I don’t worry about it. I’m ready for it. When I go, I want to go doing what I do best. If I died tomorrow, I couldn’t complain. It’s been good“

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 54 Comments

Alice in Wonderland

We have talked about how important Rock music is to our son. He has a number of music related bucket list entries which he is keen to tick off. So for his birthday I saved up the coins in my trouser pockets. Routed underneath the sofa for lost money. Worked my butt off. All to afford a few concert tickets. We saw Kiss a few months back. In a couple of months we are off to see his favourite band – Alter Bridge. And a few days back we went to Leeds to see ….

First bank of the night was MC5. That band who did Kick out the Jams in 1969.

Then it was The Stranglers.

Then it was

Time for Alice Cooper.

Son had seen Alice in the Hollywood Vampires but was desperate to see one of his epic rock opera shows. He wasn’t disappointed. I remember seeing Alice back in 1991. That night I never dreamt that 28 years later I would be watching him again with my son. That’s so cool.

Think son has his first crush. Nita Strauss. She is Alice Coopers guitarist. Dad does as well but it’s not my first….

Happy son can now tick off one of his top bucket list items but has added a new item on the list. See Alice again.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 15 Comments

Song Lyric Sunday – Trains

Jim has selected Train songs for today’s Sunday Song Lyric Challenge
https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/64726988/posts/243036776

I initially just could see the Crazy Train by Ozzy or Night Train by Guns n Roses. But another song kept nagging away to be included. A song I would listen to on a Sunday morning when mum would put on her sad songs.

I give to you On the Evening Train Song by Johnny Cash. Originally by Hank Williams. Although it’s not his song you can hear Cash sing it with so much meaning – he had lost his beloved wife June.

The baby’s eyes are red from weeping
It’s little heart is filled with pain
And Daddy cried they’re taking Mama
Away from us on the evening train

I heard the laughter at the depot
But my tears fell like the rain
When I saw them place that long white casket
In the baggage coach of the evening train

As I turned to walk away from the depot
It seemed I heard her call my name
Take care of baby and tell him darling
That I’m going home on the evening train

I pray that God will give me courage
To carry on ’til we meet again
It’s hard to know she’s gone forever
They’re carrying her home on the evening train

Source – Lyricfind. Songwriters Audrey Williams/Hank Williams Snr

https://youtu.be/E6jLWO0K4bA

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 40 Comments

Weekly Song Challenge – Little bit of Mongolia

Thanks Di (Pensitivity101) for the weekly music challenge tag.

Rules:

Copy rules and add to your own post, pinging back to this post (Laura’s, not mine)
Post music videos for your answers to the musical questions.
Tag two people to participate!
Easy!

Post a video of a song that reminds you of a loved one.

This was my partners favourite song. Every time I hear it Just takes me back to her. It’s Madness with It Must Be Love.
https://youtu.be/vmezIIrFQmY

Post a video of a song that mentions food or drink


https://youtu.be/v4xZUr0BEfE

Everybody needs a bit of Mongolian Heavy Metal on their playlists. This belter from The Hu starts with a line that mentions eating and drinking.

Post a video of a song that talks about rain or sunshine

It’s time for a bit of Whitesnake and Crying in the Rain. A bit of trivia. The great Whitesnake and Deep Purple vocalist worked in a clothes boutique which was within shouting distance of my old Dental Surgery.
https://youtu.be/AHrAoUwmSwY

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 44 Comments

Prom

It was a bit wet in Yorkshire last night. Landslides, floods, bridges swept away. That’s more like proper summer weather. So this photo was taken a few days ago – now the path down to here is flooded.

The local stately home has a Classical Proms on this weekend. Given the amount of rain coming down at present I suspect they could dispense with the services of the Orchestra – unless they can play underwater. A more appropriate option would be Spongebob and Patrick.

It’s strange how the mention of the Proms brings back memories.

  • Sat at that venue watching a summer concert featuring Tom Jones. It was cold, it was wet it was grim. My partner had 3 jumpers on. Scarily I knew every single song Tom sung. The couple behind us where a bit disappointed as they thought they had bought tickets for Tom Waits
    When we first moved here we decided to have a Proms party. Sit in our garden with wine and listen to the music. This being Yorkshire the summer Prom featured a gale force wind. We couldn’t hear a damm thing.
    The year after we tried again but still couldn’t hear a thing. So I stayed sober and we sneaked into the car park and listened from their.
    The year after that we actually bought tickets but completely forgot. We didn’t realise until we heard the fireworks going off.

So this weekend I will go outside with a cup of coffee and see if I can hear the music. If I can then I will sit next to my Partners Yorkshire Rose and reflect on life. Maybe I will just go outside and play some Elgar and Samuel Barber on the iPad. Reflecting while holding a brolly.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 95 Comments

Why this path

I was talking to a farmer today. He was saying that he desperately needed some rain for his crops. The ground is bone dry. Wow Yorkshire needing water, that must be a first.

Its been one of those days. Dropping things. Losing things. Breaking things. Not being able to remember which things I’ve lost. Writing stupid things in comments that I shouldn’t have. Arriving in plenty of time for an appointment then spending ages trying to get parked and ending up late. Repeatedly tripping over the cat. Breaking the hoover – again. Burning the toast.

So a walk was much needed.

It’s really odd walking down this path. It’s a walk that just skirts farm land. We have much finer routes with better views. Basically it goes round in a big circle. Might be able to call it a crop circle – not sure why ET would travel all those light years to look at this bit of land unless he or she has a pressing need for sugar beet and has a rhubarb fetish.

We would often come down this particular path before we had our son. We would talk about starting a family here. Planning for the future. Then with a baby and the pushchair we stopped venturing down this route. Then the world changed and I completely forgot about most things. Recently I’ve started venturing here again.

Memories flood back. Sadness come in waves. I often feel lonely and isolated here. It doesn’t seem right walking here without her. And yet I still come. Why? I honestly don’t know. Maybe I’m waiting for something to happen here. Maybe its a link with the past. Maybe it’s because it is so rarely used by others. Maybe it’s because you get to walk near the farmers crops. Maybe it’s because you don’t get any mobile phone signal here. Maybe I’m trying to remember something important. Maybe it’s just a random thing. Just don’t know.

Maybe I will never work out why I currently need to walk this path. One thing I do know for sure is that this is Yorkshire and this path will be very muddy soon…. Maybe that’s it. I like Mud. I did have a Mud cd. I can still remember the words to one of their singles. Thats an official test to see if you are ancient – can you still sing Tiger Feet. Please tell me I’m not the only one.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 31 Comments

Due South

Son was asking me for my favourite non rock song. His is Gangnam Style. I like it because he dances as bad as me…..


http://youtu.be/CH1XGdu-hzQ

For me it’s a tough call. Could be:

  • Sinatra – My Way
  • Roger Whittaker – Durham Town
  • Elvis – Always on my mind
  • Louis Armstrong – What a wonderful world
  • Johnny Cash – If you could read my mind

But one song stands out. It always has done. It’s kinda sad, kinda uplifting. It comes from an old funny TV series. Due South. I can’t think how many times I’ve joined in the chorus. Let’s Ride Forever.

http://youtu.be/Wu4krJJkkIs