Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 41 Comments

Lake one

Ullswater in the English Lake District. The usual grand weather there….

About 200 years ago the poet William Wordsworth spent much time here, you can see why. A hundred years later Donald Campbell disrupted the creative peace by braking the world water speed record here, over 202mph.

When we visited Hawklad blew my mind, again. Randomly he started to list every top division football champions in both England and Italy. On the patchy internet I checked, every single year answer was correct. Staggeringly that went back to 1889 for England and 1898 for Italy. Even taking the time to fill in the key footballing history, managers and top goal scorers. How on earth does he do that, apparently I’m his Dad and I can’t even remember what I had for breakfast.

2019 – School gave up on him. I remember a Head of Year saying that ‘HE is low attainment with many special educational needs… there are plenty of alternatives for pupils who leave with no qualifications…. College isn’t everything’.

2023 – still on track for his goal – UNIVERSITY.

How many great kids are wrote off by the system when with the right support, THEY CAN FLY.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 31 Comments

Moments

Yorkshire has its moments on the peaceful walk front….

This walk had a definite start and end, the Car Park. Some journeys don’t have that luxury so how do you ever know when it’s nearly over.

It’s odd, I usually love this time of year. The AUTUMNAL colours, the freshness, the tranquil peace after the packed summer crowds – the new season arrives and we had this beautiful location virtually to ourselves.

Yet this year there is also a feeling of unease and melancholy. The shorter days, longer nights and yes, the feeling of increased isolation. Even family and friends seem just that little bit further away. I definitely feel significantly less prepared for that isolation this time around AND ITS NOT a surprise. For over a decade the focus has been on Hawklad and School. It brought purpose, provided goals to aim for, even provided a few too many battles to fight. Plans all had a set date, Summer 2023. All this was way more pressing than any feelings of isolation but now that date is history. The Plans worked but are now completed.

What happens next for Hawklad is taking longer to sort out than expected.

Currently life without Plans or more accurately, life while new Plans are still yet to be formulated. Without that immediate focus I’m kinda feeling in limbo. With me LIMBO is letting the mind wander off into feelings of isolation and melancholy. At this rate I might even have to sort out some stuff about my future, it’s been so long it feels like I have forgotten how to do that. At least when we know what Hawklad’s path is, focus will return.

But this time around, I also need to work on some plans of my own.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 38 Comments

When will it stop….

Famous old Whitby. Captain Cook, Dracula and probably the best Fish & Chips on the planet….

Ok, Deep Breath.

The so called UK Government strikes again. Several reputable news agencies are reporting that the Government has started work on cutting by a fifth the number of New Education Health Care Plans issued to children with Special Educational Needs. The millions saved by this cut are to go into funding tax cut giveaways which will be an election promise.

These plans are already a nightmare to get hold of. It took us 18 months of fighting, scraping and torture to get some additional funding for Hawklad. Huge numbers of children with special needs already fail to get any additional help and what help that has been made available has been significantly cut. Schools do not get enough funding to cover additional help and as a result thousands of children suffer. AND now the Government wants to cut even more, make it even more difficult for families to get hold of help and support. The very same Government who cut the tax on Champagne costing millions….

It’s a mess and it’s going to get way worse.

How do people still willingly vote for these Charlatans.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 40 Comments

Battle

As places go for a bloody battle, this one is rather picturesque. This one was definitely Scotland 3 England 0 but nothing like the Mel Gibson history movie lesson.

Deep sigh. The College Hawklad is hoping to start in September has been sending some pre joining information packs. They are definitely one of the better places round here for providing special educational support. But there is still a sigh.

I was reading the pack explaining how the College is really proactive with dyslexia support. Definitely way more than his last school. But here’s the problem. The College is forced to set course entrance requirements for Hawklad’s preferred subjects. These mandate good results in the GCSE exams which Hawklad had just sat, in particular English Language. The very exams that are most definitely Dyslexia Unfriendly. The exams that desperately try to penalise students like Hawklad. That’s Government Policy.

So it’s fingers crossed for the next few weeks, hoping the results allow Hawklad to follow his chosen path.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 25 Comments

Summer

Yorkshire SUMMER..

Proper WEATHER..

This is midday and it’s 12C..

We are most definitely missing the frightening heatwave hitting much of Europe.

So School is most definitely out, I guess it has been for a month now. But nothing official, just kinda happened. The fabled Parenting Handbook doesn’t really cover this, WHAT HAPPENS NOW. Like most things, I’ve ended up WINGING it. I supposed that School would be in touch. Providing guidance on what needs to be done with things like picking up books, passing on key records, returning school property, official last day when school is shot of the pupil, where to get career guidance, college help, exam results, who you need to contact if you have any queries about next steps, if problems are encountered. We just knew what day the last exam was happening. He just walked out the exam room and that was it. Well part from a Muppet Dad embarrassing him as he walked towards the car. Apparently it’s not COOL to stand precariously on the car roof and applaud while wearing a bowler hat which is at least four sizes too small.….

But we received nothing. I did email school to get Hawklad’s results emailed to him. The only other email we have received since his exams was a bizarre one about the School Prom. He had no idea the Prom was happening but a couple of hours before the Event, we received an email asking that if pupils attending the Leaving Prom were arriving in a TRACTOR, could the Tractors not drive over the School Lawns or Fields.

Glad that’s been cleared up then.

Thankfully Hawklad saw the funny side of things. “At least I don’t have to comb my hair… I’m hoping to go the whole summer without doing that “ So far so good in that one then….😂😂😂😂

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 51 Comments

College

A visit to Hawklad’s preferred college to see what it feels like during a normal, busy day. The key word is BUSY. Very, very busy. Overall the college has 8000 students. He found it often overwhelming and disorienting BUT HE STUCK IT OUT for a couple of hours. It also highlighted the things he needs to work on before he walks through the college doors for real.

He understands what college will feel like. Just how busy it will be. Busy and he won’t know any of the 8000 other students . His friends are all going to his former school’s sixth form, in a different town, 30 miles away. A sixth form that is not an option for Hawklad.

Hawklad also understands that the new college has strict exam entrant regulations for the courses he wants to do. He won’t find out how his exams went until the back end of August

He has to wait on exams and has just under 3 months to push on some things. But whatever happens this visit is another step forward.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 35 Comments

Almost out of the wood

Almost out of the deep dark wood. Isn’t it sad that even after all these years I can still recite The Gruffalo, word for word. Where did those years go…

One moment I’m reading out The Gruffalo to toddler Hawklad, and in the blink of an eye I’m trying to explain magnetic fields inside solenoids to him. Wow, bring Julia Donaldson back please.

Thinking about it, I look like The Gruffalo now.

Hawklad has done so well, 18 exams down, 2 more to go tomorrow. Then he is out of the deep dark wood, pesky school finished. The poor kid is out on his feet, sadly I bet he isn’t the only Year 11 feeling that way tonight. How is this supposed to be a true reflection of potential, skills, talents, character and personal accomplishment. IT ISN’T, in reality it was never supposed to be. It’s about the system rather than individual child.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 36 Comments

Plans

Dark Moody Moors.

Every time that I go to our local waste dump, a sign on the gates makes me smile. I know what they mean but…

If you can’t dump waste at the Waste Dump, then what is the point of it 😂😂😂😂😂

So Hawklad hits the last week of final school exams. 6 in 5 days. Then as Alice Cooper puts it

SCHOOL’S OUT FOR SUMMER

SCHOOL’S OUT FOR EVER….

It’s kind of such an unnerving thought. After about 3-30 on Friday, that’s it for Secondary School. After the world changed, so often I thought just in terms of the period covering mainstream schooling. Plans kinda didn’t go past this School. Plans didn’t go past 3-30 on Friday. Everything seemed so far in the future. Where did that TIME go.

So I guess it’s planning time again. Try to give Hawklad the best summer possible. See where the exams results leave Hawklad and then help him get on the next path which he wants to follow. Currently he would love to do college, focus on History. That particular Plan is very dependent on his exam results.

I also need to think about his Muppet Dad as well. Where does Hawklad’s next path leave me… Is it more of the same or new doors. That definitely sounds like a TWO COFFEE problem to sort out. Just need to get Hawklad through this last school week….

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 32 Comments

Rush hour

One of those mighty motorways that cut through the North Yorkshire Moors. This is rush hour….

It’s rush hour with Hawklad’s exams now. Two weeks of mayhem, 12 exams in 10 days. It’s an official slog now. That’s how it’s designed to be. Zero marks for coursework, everything on final exams. Exams squeezed into just a few weeks

Hawklad has officially got to the ‘hit the wall’ stage. He has really tried, tried to catch up on being out of the classroom for over two years. Tried to catch up that time, with let’s say ‘patchy’ support from school, over just a few weeks. Too much cramming, trying to force in so much information. And now, with two weeks of exams to get through, he is zonked out, brain fudged. He is still trying to learn, revise, but it’s not going in anymore.

It feels like running a marathon. At the starting line you stand with high hopes, focusing on running a great time. You set off and it feels ok. Then at some point, it all changes. It starts to hurt. After that it’s just about survival. The mind and body have gone. Any thoughts of a decent time have gone, it’s now about just trying to get to the finish line in one piece.

So one particularly bad day for Hawklad when he was tired, nothing was going in. He felt like he was going backwards. STUFF IT. We went for a drive on the Moors. Exams are supposed to be everything, but life goes on. Exam Rush Hour will never give you views like that.

Posted on by bereavedandbeingasingleparent · 38 Comments

Break

I must have walked past this tree at least a 1000 times and yet today was the first time that I truly noticed it…..

So it’s 8 exams down another 12 to go. So much for Hawklad to learn and revise over the next three weeks. Currently he is ‘enjoying’ a week long revision school holiday before the exams come flying back at him. Poor Hawklad is mentally shattered, these exams are taking so much out of him, he is drained. Trying to cram in almost 3 years work into just a few weeks, across a number of subjects. Trying to do this while trying to cope with the stress which the revision and exams are placing on his hard earned reading skills. Trying at the same time trying to learn to type exam answers up without any speech or grammar assistance.

It’s unbelievable to think that just under three years ago school had decided that he would never be able to read. The fact he is doing these exams unaided is already the biggest of big WINS for him.

But he is drained. Really drained.

So we through out the revision playbook. He needed a break. So he is having a couple of days off before he dives back into the work again. Two days off will hit the revision but it was the right decision. We all need to recharge sometimes.