This post has been sitting around my draft folder for a few weeks now. I just couldn’t get the wording right, it felt like I was saying the wrong thing. I just couldn’t find the appropriate filter to turn it into the post I wanted.
I want this to come across as a warm and loving post. I don’t want it to be seen as laughing at my son expense, rather laughing with him at our strange world. If it does come across as insensitive then please tell me and I will delete it immediately. If that’s the case then I am so sorry.
Its few years now since we first had Autism and Aspergers mentioned to us. At the time a Doctor talked about the symptoms. I wish he had framed it as his unique personality. One of the things he mentioned was and I will use his language
“Heartless and unfeeling speech”
“Something we may treat later in life”
Sorry Doctor there is only one person in the room with those traits and it’s not our son.
Our son has a beautiful and unfiltered language. He just can’t lie or dress things up. As my Dad would say he calls “a fish supper a fish supper”. This can lead to some interesting situations. We have talked about it. Our son always says that this is just who he is and he doesn’t want to change.
I will give you a few examples:
- Once a nurse told him her age. Son’s response was “Really I thought you were a lot older”,
- After I told a joke that went completely flat as a person tried to take our son’s picture. Son’s response “That’s my Dad he is a complete Muppet”,
- When his mum was seriously ill a Doctor was trying to get a needle into her vein. Son asked the Doctor “Are you a proper Doctor”. The rather stuffy Doctor replied with all his qualifications. Son responded “Well it doesn’t look like you are!”
- After a school play he said to a girl in his class “You are really pretty but wow you can’t sing.”
- On a French train he told a rather odd looking guard with a beard “Have you got rabies.”
- His mum was petrified of heights. We were on a very wobbly cable car and she started to panic a bit. Our son helpfully pointed out “Yes Mum we must be 500ft in the air so if the cable breaks we will die.”
- On another French train he told the food trolley person “Have you got any food that doesn’t smell of wee..”
- At his grannies and she had an accident in the kitchen. I said to my mum “Did you just swear?”, Granny said no. Our son said “But you did swear you said Twat.”
- To a dentist who did smell of garlic our son asked “Have you ever considered using a mouth wash.”
- While I was trying to lift some really heavy weights “Dad that’s not a good look. You look like you are having a heart attack.”
- When he went for an X-ray on his finger he asked if it was safe. The technician said completely safe. Our Son replied “If it’s safe then why are you heading behind that glass panel.”
- When I first started growing a beard he told me “It made me look like ZZTops bus driver”
- His new Headteacher gave a speech about school excellence and academic achievement. When he came to our son he asked what was he looking to achieve at the school our son replied “Sir I’m looking to take my gap year as soon as I can.”
- At a Wrestling show and at the perfect moment when the crowd fell silent he shouted out “Dad that’s the female wrestler you fancy. She doesn’t seem to be wearing much why don’t you take a photo of her.”
- To someone serving food at a cafe he said “I really think you should wash your hands, they are very dirty.”
- To a man in the village our son told him “You look like an old Father Christmas.”
- At a rock concert he stood next to a very large biker and said just loud enough “He looks like a Neanderthal.”
We don’t see all this as inappropriate or heartless. Those are just so awful ways to describe this. To write autistic people off as unfeeling or insensitive reveals more about the people making those claims. Please rather see it is unfiltered and pure speech. Welcome the individuality. I for one embrace it.