It’s been a very good year for Daffodils. Flowers lift the heart. So while I set off my Stone Age Laptop to undertake a work task I headed into the garden to plant flower seeds. I have a horticultural tradition now. In September I visit the local garden shop and see what out of date seeds they are selling off cheap. One hour later 8 random and very cheap flower seed packs have been planted.
I returned inside to find the Laptop still apparently busy doing stuff so let’s put the TV on for a few moments. Just in time for the weather forecast.
“During the weekend the warm settled weather will be replaced with an extremely cold frontal pattern. Snow cannot be ruled out. Severe frosts are likely. Gardeners should take note of this Arctic Blast. Maybe delay planting for a couple of weeks”
You couldn’t tell me this an hour ago. Marvellous.
Then the news comes on. Brexit is still a monumental pile of pants – Deep Joy. Everyday I sound more and more like Stadler and Waldorf from the Muppets (sorry).
Anyway is it just me or does our Prime Minister look increasingly like Skeletor from the Master of the Universe cartoon. Sorry Skeletor you were never this self obsessed or so grossly incompetent.
We had a little game the other night. Come up with a list of cartoon characters who would do a better job of Brexit than the current shower of ineptitude – I cleaned this up as I did use two naughty words initially….
So our Cartoon Brexit Replacement Team is:
- Prime Minister May becomes PM Lisa Simpson
- Chancellor Hammond becomes Mr Krabby (Spongebob)
- U.K. Europe Negotiator Robbins becomes Selma (The Simpson’s)
- Foreign Secretary Hunt becomes Inspector Gadget
- Brexit Secretary Barclay becomes Patrick (Spongebob)
- Person responsible for negotiating trade deals – Liam Fox becomes Bill Cipher (Gravity Falls)
- Minister for screwing up the Environment Michael Gove becomes Sid (Ice Age)
- Brexit Buffoon Boris Johnson becomes Elmer Fudd
- Brexit Twit Rees-Mogg becomes Yosemite Sam
- Minister in charge of screwing things up Chris ‘Calamity’ Grayling becomes Goofy
I’m sure you would agree our cartoon team is significantly better equipped for the job. Now having sorted out Brexit it’s time to try and remember where I planted those seeds.